Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The Weekend in Review

Guaranteed No Ignorant Anti-BCS Whining (but don't rule out ignorant pro-BCS whining)

NCAA Football

West Virginia 31, UConn 19: So wait, WVU wasn't ranked on a single BCS computer poll? I wonder why.

Miami 41, Louisville 38: This was a great game until Louisville first decided to channel the spirit of Buzz Preston on punt coverage, and then decided to make Brock Berlin look good.

Wisconsin 20, Purdue 17: Poor Kyle Orton hasn't played well in the past two weeks, because he actually has to go to class. Two tests and a paper in classes that rival Andy Katzenmoyer's have taken a lot out of Orton. SportsPickle puts it best, though: "Kyle Orton successfully salvages any hope for a decent NFL career by blowing Heisman." My Buddy Matt did have a great point though - how was Wisconsin, an undefeated team with the #1 defense in the country, not ranked higher than #12? Well, give the SEC some credit, even those teams with losses, but he does have a point considering the parity this year in the top 25.

MSU 51, Minnesota 17: Um, OK. Run defense anyone? Or should the Gophers just join the PAC 10, where they don't have to worry about run defense and "cold" weather?

Iowa 33, tOSU 7: The Ohio State defense made Iowa QB Drew Tate look like an All-American (331 passing yards, 24 rushing, 4 total TDs). Meanwhile, the Iowa defense made the Buckeyes look like they don't have a quarterback or running back. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

Louisiana Tech 41, SMU 10: The top competition isn't doing much for LaTech's record (4-3), but it sure is doing something for their playing ability and talent, isn't it?


Browns 34, Bengals 17: So, Pete, you had Lee Suggs as a fantasy receiver for this game, right? Because he had 100 receiving yards and a TD in this one. This was some game for the Browns offense - they basically put 51 points on the board. On Bengals TD came on a 5 yard fumble recovery. Cincy followed with a field goal coming off another Cleveland turnover, on a drive that basically started and ended on the 25 yard line. The only time Carson Palmer could put any sort of drive together was for 50 yards and a TD - again following a Cleveland turnover. Highlights abounded for the Browns. Jeff Garcia continues to be the anti-Tim Couch - Garcia is great at home but terrible on the road so far, whereas Couch was the exact opposite. Garcia had 310 yards and 4 TD passes, including a "record tying" 99 yard bomb to Andre Davis. William Green added 115 yards on the ground, but the best story from this game was Chad Johnson. Early last week, Johnson sent a bottle of Pepto Bismol to each of the Browns DBs, saying that they'll need it after trying to cover him for 60 minutes. Well, it was the Browns DBs and the Dawg Pound who had the last laugh. Johnson finished with 3 catches, but he dropped the ball more than I do. The Dawg Pound was in top form sign-wise. "#85 Head Bungle" was topped only by a picture of Johnson superimposed on a toilet with the caption, "Johnson is about to get a bad case of the Browns."

Patriots 30, Seahawks 20: When you're up you're up, and when you're down you're down. Struggling teams (like my fantasy team) always somehow find a way to lose. Teams like the Patriots, when they're winning, can always find ways to dig deep and keep the streak alive.

Packers 38, Lions 10: Detroit was the unfortunate bystander in Green Bay's sudden decision to prove that they really don't suck this year.

Broncos 31, Raiders 3: Well, Clinton Portis may be proving me wrong in Washington right now, but it still looks like Denver's backs are usually a product of their great line and system.

Steelers 24, Cowboys 20: Rivers? Manning? Palmer? Who are those guys?

Vikings 38, Saints 31: So, Minnesota does really have other receivers besides Randy Moss? Maybe this means he'll start taking plays off again. But, maybe I'm just still dumbstruck that Urban Meyer nearly got both him and Allen Iverson to play football for ND. Speaking of ND, Courtney Watson looks like he was a good pick in the second round, even for a terrible defense.

Rams 28, Buccaneers 21: I won't lie to you: I was watching baseball.

Other Miscellanous Ramblings

  • OK, I'll start with the BCS thing, since I mentioned it in the subtitle. The first release of the rankins stirred controversy right at the top. Despite being #2 in both polls, Oklahoma was only 3rd in the BCS, due to low computer rankings. A guy on the BCS committee did make a great point, though: Oklahoma has only beaten one ranked team, and has played only 1 road game so far. Meanwhile, Miami, the current BCS #2, has already beated two ranked teams. As much as I hate Miami, he does have a point. As my dad and I were discussing this point, we came to the conclusion that anyone who argues that Oklahoma should be #2 in the BCS right now is an idiot. No sooner do we finish this thought, but then I walk into the living room and see Kirk Herbstreit on TV... arguing that Oklahoma should be #2 in the BCS.

  • I've already argued that a playoff wouldn't solve anything. Right now, we're arguing who #2 and #3 are. With a playoff, we'd just be arguing who should be #8 and #9, or #16 and #17. The polls are stupid, each in their own way. The writers don't know what they're talking about - they only have their jobs because they're too uncoordinated to be players and too dumb to be coaches (take me for example). As for the coach's poll - do you really think the coaches have the time to sit down and watch every other game going on that weekend? If you want to better the system, have some coaches (preferrably not some 1AA playing, blowout-minded state of Florida coaches) and sit them down with the computer nerds, and have them come up with an unbiased formulas. Then, put in a few checks and balances. What do you do if there isn't a clear #2? What if you do if there are four equal #1 teams? Figure this stuff out beforehand, don't just whine about it later.

  • Not convinced that the press has no idea what it's talking about? Take it from Urban Meyer, courtesy The Tampa Tribune: ``I'll hear the people who have absolutely no idea about college athletics - and they're actually getting paid to give you their opinion on college athletics - and what they consider a quality opponent,'' Meyer told the Salt Lake Tribune. ``I just hear some of the comments [from] people wearing a tie behind a desk that really have no, absolutely no clue. And I can say it, because I do have a clue, because that's my job.

    ``What I think people need to do is go travel around and look at the personnel. Watch 'em practice. Get up from behind that desk and playing golf and doing whatever those people do and go evaluate.''

  • OK, so John Kerry isn't exactly a big sports person. But, it's not like becoming president puts you in charge of hiring Notre Dame's football coach. Dah, who said that. Of course, if Kerry was in charge of that, he'd probably end up hiring MSU band director John Madden, or some guy named Irving Meyers.

  • In case you were wondering: Yes, seeing the breakout Carlos Beltran is having in the playoffs does get Gammons-esque people like me excited.

  • So, I was flipping the other day, and I came across "True Life: I'm a Jersey Shore Girl" on MTV. I decided to watch it to get a little insight on the life of Ellen and her friends. My Lord, it was a bunch of excited Ellens running around! I couldn't take it! Who said that?

  • An absolutely great sequence of rumors I heard the other day: If Butch Davis has a bad year this year, he's fired. If Davis is fired, he replaces Mack Brown at Texas. Add to that the fact that Nick Saban is "openly excited" when asked about the possiblity of becoming the Browns' head coach some day, and you have an "openly excited" Kanka. Saban was an Browns assistant under Bill Belichick before leaving for MSU and later LSU. Don't get me wrong, I'm still rooting for the Browns to do well this year, but you can't pass up on a true good coach like Saban.

  • Favorite cheer heard at Fenway over the weekend, with Gary Sheffield at bat: "Who's your dealer?" I almost fell of the bed.

  • So, Jeff Garcia is apparently dating the Playboy Playmate of the Year, who moved to the Cleveland area for him. When Tim Couch first started in the NFL, he dated then-Playmate of the Year Heather Kozar, later a Barker Beauty (no relation to Bernie Kosar). Now, if you're the Browns GM, is there any excuse for not signing any single QB in the NFL?

  • Speaking of Couch and Heather Kozar, here's there dating history:
    1. Couch dates Kozar.
    2. Couch introduces Kozar to friend Cade McNown.
    3. Kozar leaves Couch for McNown.
    4. McNown sucks it up and is cut.
    5. Kozar leaves a jobless McNown to return to Couch.
    Good, good.

  • Positive Punlicity, Part 1: Purdue Blogs on The Purdue preview and "Beat Purdue Memories" got good reviews from one Purdue fan.

  • Positive Publicity, Part 2:'s page on Charlotte Bobcat tickets Apparently, they Googled "Charlotte Bobcat tickets" and didn't pay too much attention to the results before posting them.

Transaction Wire

  • Browns get former Pitt standout Antonio Bryant for Quincy Morgan. Both were complaining about reduced playing time, so the front offices thought a change of scenery would be good. The problem: both received reduced playing time for continually dropping wide-open passes. I'm starting to wonder why I wasn't involved in this deal.

  • Chargers trade draft picks for Keenan McCardell. All part of my fiendish KankaMatic plan. Bwahahahaha....

  • Seahawks get Jerry Rice. Hey, someone needs to teach their receivers that their job is to actually catch the ball.

Here's Looking at You

Rhema McKnight - Mike Brown

Fun Googling KankaManiacs' Names