ND-USC Quotefest

While I attempt to edit Friday's pep rally for those who didn't get to see it, I offer you these quotes and thoughts concerning Saturday's game:

KankaNation Prediction Contest

"ND 56, USC 20... I'm not on the bandwagon, I'm driving it." - Pete Godlewski

"I thought picking USC was actually three extra months in purgatory." - Andy Wolkiewicz

"I was really gonna pick against the Irish, but this is setting up too much like games I've seen before, namely FSU '93 and USC '95. USC '95, Keyshawn and the boys came in with swagger, and then a cold rain came down, and Marc Edwards and the Irish simply ran them over. Lou's last great win....
Charlie has me too jacked up, or "geeked," like Charlie Jr. Watch the video, it's at the end. I think he knows he's gonna win. He knows something we don't know, and Petie boy doesn't know." - Dave Schmitt

Pep Rally

(on Weis) "He does a great job of bringing back the old players." - Kanka's Dad

"There are a lot of beautiful girls out there tonight." - Mo Stovall

"Yeah, like this girl who got you through [class removed to protect the not-so-innocent]!" - Anon.

"If I was Leinart, I would not want to run into Chris Zorich before the game." - Kanka

Pregame

"Posting Live from Campus!
Just want to let you know I have never witnessed such an electric atmosphere on campus. Not even the 2000 Nebraska game was this huge! The pep rally was great. The weather is absolutely perfect. The new gold on the dome is shining brighter than ever. Just followed the band on their South Quad marchout and stop in front of College Gameday. And now more festivities to follow. I wish you all could be here to experience this too, I'm just getting chills down my spine thinking about this great day! We want this win so much and regardless of the outcome, this will be one of the most memorable days in ND Football history." - Nick Schumacher

"GO IRISH!
KICK USC'S ASS
LOVE, JESUS" - church sign

KankaNation Horse Trailer

"Bush... but the ND coaching staff did a remarkable job in preparing. Again, Coach said there are no moral victories, but I know he is damn proud of the fight in his boys today, as I think every ND fan should be." - Andy Wolkiewicz

"I'd rank 1) ND Coaching Staff, 2) Reggie Bush
Without Bush, this game would have been a slaughter, with ND coming out ahead. Leinart was off, but the rest of the team made him look good." - Jon Byrer

The Aftermath

"College Football is the Greatest Sport in the World
I think Saturday might have been the most memorable day in College Football history and shows that the emotion of college football is second to none. Of course, there was the remarkable fight between ND and USC. My heart was pounding as Quinn ran it in with just over 2 minutes to go. My fears were coming true as USC drove the field. My dreams came true as the clock ran down to 0:00. My gut twisted as I realized that a ball fumbled out of bounds does stop the clock. And my eyes watered as Leinart crossed the goalline. I never felt so sick after a game in all my life. Yet, despite the loss, (and I know there are no moral victories, as Weis would say) I have never been as proud of an Irish football team(considering I wasn't really an ND fan until I went there.) Charlie Weis is a great man and an amazing coach.
Elsewhere in the college football world, other fans felt the same way as the Irish faithful. Penn State witnessed its perfect season and possible National Championship hopes smashed on the last play against Michigan. Minnesota fans surely thought their team had the game locked up until Wisconsin blocked a punt into the endzone with :30 on the clock to win. Florida fans prayed their team could get into that endzone against LSU one more time, only to have their team fall short. Louisville fans saw their hopes at a Big East championship fade as West Virginia erased a 16 point deficit to take the game to OT where Louisville lost as their QB was unable to get into the endzone on the 2point conversion.
Yes, there are those moments in college football that break your heart. Many teams and fans experienced those moment on Saturday, October 15, 2005. But what makes those moments bearable is the knowledge that someday your team will be on the other side of the heartbreaking moment. It will be your team's quarterback fighting into the endzone or throwing that perfect pass to a wide open receiver or it'll be your special team's guy getting his hand on that punt. And when those moments happen, you'll be happy and the disappointing times won't seem so bad. " - Andy Wolkiewicz

"We wore the green jerseys because Charlie knew it'd be the last time for a long time that we were big underdogs." - seen on NDNation

"I liked the green jerseys. Charlie sure knows his ND history (and he should). For those of you who didn't notice, the jersey numbering - gold with white trim - was very close to the numbering of the jerseys in the '77 USC game - yellow with white trim." - Kanka

"The green jerseys we wore on Saturday were awesome; the old-school color tone is much better than the kelly. That said, I still like the home blue best.
This game can be summed up easiest with Simmons' levels of losing: it was your typical 'Alpha Dog' game. We played as well as we possibly could've played, but were beaten by the best player on the field. That game was all Bush. Without him, ND rolls. Like the old Knicks-Bulls games: it didn't matter how well the Knicks played, Jordan was always gonna rise up as the Alpha Dog and take the game away.
I didn't get too crazy at the end with the clock running down, because I knew the game wasn't over yet. It was pretty clear that the ball went out of bounds. I would've hated to be in the student section, however, because my brother said all they could see was Leinart get wrecked and go down short of the goal line. It looked obvious to him that the game was over. What a nightmare.
USC got a pretty generous spot on that play, but bad spots happen on crazy plays like that. I thought Leinart was gonna 'waltz' into the end zone on that play, but Mays closed it up incredibly fast. What a play!
...
I was telling Ellen before the game how the last time we beat a #1 team, Shawn Wooden batted down the FSU pass in the end zone to end the game. I noted that 12 years later, we have another corner named Wooden, and how sick would it have been for the game to end similarly? Well, it doesn't get any closer than that. Leinart saved his one good play of the game for when they needed it most. Incredible throw. Wooden's arm comes across a split second too late. Damn.
...
Pat Haden's... halftime interview of the ballerina was nice, as well; he actually called him out on his class schedule, which, to Leinart's credit, he didn't try to talk his way out of.
Charlie has us back. I am swallowing the Kool-Aid flowing from a beer bong. The next few years are going to be a lot of fun. I wasn't sick to my stomach after the game; sad, disappointed for what could've been, but not sick. The best is yet to come. The game was an all-timer, and everyone involved in it will be better for it. Especially Pete Carroll. He will relish and cherish this game, and show the tape to this grandchildren someday. And when they ask to see tapes of the 2006 game and those that follow, he will have conveniently lost the tapes. Then again, they will not be suitable for viewing by children, anyway." - Dave Schmitt

Finally, two links of note:

• I don't want to make a huge deal about "The Bush Push," as complaining won't change the outcome of the game. However, Da Wiz of Odds felt compelled to email me his take on the play.


• An explanation of the "Tampa 2" defense, and how it compares to a normal Cover 2 Zone. This article is so good, it's been mirrored on several NFL team sites.

USC 34, ND 31

Quarterback: Brady Quinn didn't put up gaudy numbers this week, but he did play with the heart of a champion. After a very rough start, Quinn ended with completions on 19 of his 35 pass attempts for 264 yards. His "token" TD pass to Jeff Samardzija made this game Quinn's 11th straight with a touchdown pass, breaking John Huarte's school record. Quinn was able to run the ball effectively, picking up 41 yards on 10 carries (and -20 yards on 3 sacks), including a late go-ahead touchdown.

Running Back: With Rashon Powers-Neal suspended for a violation of team rules (he's rumored to be in Charlie Weis's doghouse), Travis Thomas needed to step in. He did an admirable job sharing the load with Darius Walker. Thomas had 18 carries for 58 yards, including a 16-yard touchdown run. Walker contributed 74 yards on 19 carries, his average output when sharing playing time with Ryan Grant last season. Walker was also an important and reliable safety valve for Quinn, picking up 43 yards on 4 catches.

Fullback: With RPN out, Asaph Schwapp got all the snaps at fullback. He had one catch for one yard.

Receiver:

Courtesy AP/Tom Strattman

Ho hum, another big game for Jeff Samardzija. The Shark had 6 catches for 99 yards and a TD. Mo Stovall probably wishes he still had a few years of eligibility left in this new coaching staff. He had 3 catches for 30 yards, but also a drop or two. In retrospect, it seems like every big run play this season has been run in his direction. That's a testament to his blocking skills. Wish I had the ability (or time, or motivation) to go back to the game film to verify my observation. Matt Shelton added one catch for 5 yards. David Grimes picked up his first two career carries on end arounds, which is a great example of the teaching abililty and patience of this staff. On his first run, Grimes was stopped for no gain. On that run, he kept trying to move sideways, when there was a small hole just as he got past the tackle. Most coaches would have put that play away for weeks, if not for the season, after Grimes failed to gain anything. Not Charlie. I'm assuming that a coach pulled Grimes aside and told him where the hole was. Later in the game, Grimes' number was called again, and on his second opportunity he picked up 8 yards.

Tight End: Despite his fumble, Anthony Fasano did have big catches in big situations. Fasano ended the day with 4 catches for 86 yards.

O-Line: You make the call. The Irish gained 417 yards against the #1 team in the country. USC made 6 stops in the backfield, including 3 sacks.

D-Line: I would call this the d-line's best effort this season, especially considering the hype surrounding USC's veteren offensive line. LenDale White, a terror in the PAC-10, picked up a scant 29 yards against the first physical front 7 he's faced this season. Except for one 8-yard TD run, White was simply stuffed every time he touched the ball. Matt Leinart was only sacked twice, but he was getting hit hard all through the second half. Derek Landri had a fine day with 7 tackles, tying him for the team lead. Victor Abiamiri had a sack, and officially hit Leinart two other times. Trevor Laws, starting at tackle, had a sack. Ronald Talley, filling in for the injured Chris Frome had four tackles. If anything, the line's future is promising.

Linebacker: Well, they still can't contain that Reggie Bush guy. Even so, the unit still combined for 16 tackles. Even though he tied for the team lead in tackles, this may have been the first game in a long time where Brandon Hoyte was kept out of the backfield.

Safety: Well, either Tom Zbikowski was unofficially moved to free safety in this game, or USC simply gameplanned to pick on his side of the field all day long. Several times, Zbikowski bit on playaction or a short route, and was beat deep. All part of the learning curve, I suppose. Chinedum Ndukwe was fairly quiet in this game, except for an endzone interception off an Ambrose Wooden tip.

Cornerback: Once again, Ambrose Wooden tied for the team lead in tackles. I still haven't determined if that's a good thing or not. He did have the great pass breakup mentioned above, tipping the ball to Ndukwe. Momentarily, Wooden also saved the day by running down Dwayne Jarrett after a long run late in the game. Of course, at the same time, it was Wooden who gave up that reception in the first place. Mike Richardson continues to quietly get better, as he added 6 tackles and an interception in this game.

Kicker: DJ Fitzpatrick made one of his two field goal attempts on the day. He hit from 32 but missed wide right from 35.

Punter: DJ had five punts, averagind 39.8 yards per with a long of 45. He had 2 punts land inside the 20.

Kick Returner: David Grimes had returns of 15 and 21, while Ambrose Wooden had a return of 13 yards.

Punt Returner:

Courtesy AP/Tom Strattman

For me, this was the least exciting punt return TD ever. Just as Zbikowski caught the punt, I saw Terrail Lambert enter the shot and the referee throw something. So, I was sitting there waiting for the return to be called back. As it turns out, the ref threw the blue change of posession beanbag, and, as I had originally thought, Lambert had done nothing close to a hold or illegal block. Touchdown Irish, and this game was starting to resemble Nebraska 2000. It was an exciting moment that demonstrated Weis' opinion of Zbikowski's moves in the open field, and of Zbikowski's toughness.

Special Teams: It was a good day for the Irish coverage teams, with two small exceptions. Desmond Reed had a 31 yard kickoff return that gave USC the ball near midfield. Terrail Lambert attempted to tackle Reggie Bush after Bush called for a fair catch. But, other than that, the Trojan return men were held at bay. Kudos go to Lambert and Leo Ferrine for their work as gunners.

The other 5 to keep an eye on...by Andy Wolkiewicz, KankaNation Assistant Legal Correspondent

There are two nice appetizers at noon this Saturday, MSU v. OSU and Wis. v. Minn. Then, the big show starts at 3:30 with 4 great games: USC v. ND, UF v. LSU, PSU v. Mich. and UT v. Colo. (This will be a Saturday when I wish I had 4 TVs and a Domino's in my house.) Of course, USC/ND has gotten a lot of coverage this week. Let's take a look at some of the other games...

#13 Michigan State 4-1(1-1) at Ohio State (3-2)(1-1) 12 ET, ABC
-- A battle between the best Scoring Offense in the Big Ten (MSU) and the Best Scoring Defense in the Big Ten (OSU). Meanwhile, MSU is #1 in Total Offense while Ohio State is dead last in the Big Ten. Both teams need the win to keep their hopes for a Big Ten Championship alive. Ohio State might have a solid defense, but I think the Spartans will overwhelm Ohio State and the defense will keep a struggling Buckeye offense from doing much. Winner: MSU

Wisconsin (5-1)(2-1) at Minnesota(5-1)(2-1) 12 ET, ESPN
-- Another big Big Ten Matchup. The records are the same and each features an excellent RB: Calhoun for Wis. and Maroney for Minn. (each averages over 140 yds/game). QBs Stocco and Cuptio are averaging about 200yds a game in the air. Each team gives up about 23 points/game. All things considered, home field might make the difference in this game between two near identical teams.
Winner: Minnesota

#12 Florida (5-1)(3-1) at #11 LSU (3-1)(2-1) 3:30 ET, CBS
-- This one should be a pretty tough, emotional game. Both teams are coming off convincing wins against inferior teams (LSU over Vandy and Florida over Miss. State.) Statistically, team offense and defense are pretty even. There will be a lot of pressure on one these first year coaches. They'll look to their QBs to step up as leaders. Russell will outplay Leak and even though they lost at home against Tennessee, LSU will prevail in front of their loyal fans in Baton Rouge. Winner: LSU

#7 Penn State (6-0)(3-0) at Michigan(3-3)(1-2) 3:30 ET, ABC
-- Did I mention there are some big games in the Big Ten this week? Penn State travels to Ann Arbor with an undefeated record. Michigan, on the other hand, has had one heck of a roller coaster year to say the least. PSU boasts a better offense and defense than Michigan, but the Wolverines do have a lot of talent (way too much to be playing as poorly as they have.) Of course, Paterno has proven he can still find talent as demonstrated by his phenomenal crop of freshmen. So, after the big win over Ohio State, will Penn State relax a little and get suprised by Michigan? I doubt it. Paterno knows that there is no better statement than beating two of the most revered teams in your conference in back to back weeks. PSU's defense will stuff Michigan and their freshmen will shine. Winner: Penn State

Colorado (4-1)(2-0) at #2 Texas(5-0)(2-0) 3:30 ET, ABC
-- Colorado has been playing fairly well this year, shutting out Oklahoma State and pasting Texas A&M. They could very well be the best team in the Big 12 North. Yay for them. Texas is desperate to show they deserve to be #1 and are praying (probably as hard as the Notre Dame faithful) for an Irish upset over USC in South Bend, especially since Virginia Tech is breathing down their neck. Of course, the only thing Texas CAN do is play well and dominate their schedule. They should whoop Colorado pretty well as long as they aren't looking ahead to a possible undefeated showdown with Texas Tech next week. Winner: Texas

(Kankanation Top 15 Rankings used)

ND Football 2005Issue 6: USC

USC Rush Offense vs ND Rush Defense

USC has not one but two runners averaging 120 yards per game. LenDale White has hit the end zone 10 times on the ground. He doesn't do much dancing in the backfield - he only has 4 yards in the "loss" column this year. White averages "only" 7.6 yards per carry, compared to Reggie Bush's 8.6. Bush has reached the endzone 6 times on the ground, with a long run of 76 yards. As a team, USC has averaged 291.2 yards rushing a game. Their low mark this season was 177 yards against Hawaii.
Notre Dame, lead by a trio of fine linebackers and two hard-hitting safeties, is giving up 116 rushing yards per game. Brandon Hoyte is leading the team in tackles with 42, including 10.5 in the backfield. Hoyte and the rest of the front seven will have to step up and make tackles in this game. If those safeties to have to creep in to help out the run, the corners will get burned all day long. This game will be a spotlight of Maurice Crum at the Apache Linebacker - a position created to control hybrid backs like Reggie Bush.

ND Rush Offense vs USC Rush Defense

One of the keys for Notre Dame will be the ability to control the clock and keep USC's offense off the field. Darius Walker has topped the 100 yard mark four times this year, and his per game average is 105.6 yards. Notre Dame's number 2 back in terms of carries is Rashon Powers-Neal, who has gained 100 yards on 31 attempts. RPN, the short-yardage back, has also picked up 6 touchdowns along the way. Quarterback Brady Quinn has been an effective weapon this year when he chooses to run. Not counting sacks, Quinn has picked up 123 yards on 20 carries.
USC is said to have an inexperienced front 7, so that is something the experience ND offensive line (which should include a healthy Bob Morton) will have to take advantage of. The Trojans' leading tackler is MLB Oscar Lua. Lua has made 32 tackle, but his 0.5 sack is his only backfield stop. USC is giving up 90 yards per game on the ground. However, that number is a bit deceiving. WAC/PAC-10 opponents averaged 64 yards rushing against USC. Arkansas, the one team with a run-based offense, rushed for 197 yards against the Trojans.

USC Pass Offense vs ND Pass Defense

Returning Heisman Trophy winner Matt Leinart is averaging 329 yards per game. Leinart also has 12 TDs to only 3 interceptions. His primary targets are his two wide receivers. Dwayne Jarrett has been the go-to guy, with 35 catches for 467 yards, an average of 7 catches and 93.4 yards per game. Jarrett has also found the endzone 9 times this season. While Jarrett is the reliable option, Steve Smith is more of a big-play guy. Smith is has picked up 575 yards on only 27 catches, which calculates out to averages of 115 and 5.4. Even with his 21.3 yard-per-catch average and long gain of 67 yards, Smith has only one touchdown. After the two receivers, the ball has been spread evenly to Reggie Bush (13 catches), fullback David Kirtman (12), and tight end Dominique Byrd (10). One noticeable thing - when LenDale White is in the game, he isn't much of a threat in the passing game. White has only 3 catches on the season.
Once again, Notre Dame will have to play ball control on offense to keep their defense off the field. The Irish secondary has shown that it has the talent to be good in the future, but in the present they're still shaky. ND is giving up 305.6 yards per game in the air. Notre Dame has played five good passing teams this year, and for the most part they've been able to rely on their own offense's production and opportunistic turnovers (in addition to Wannstedt's stubbornness and Breaston's hands of stone, of course). One thing that has been missing is a good push from the defensive line. Of ND's 11 sacks, only five have come from lineman. With the linebackers preoccupied with Bush and White, the likes of Victor Abiamiri and Trevor Laws will have to step it up big in this one. Otherwise, this game will be the fourth straight "Heisman Showcase" for a Trojan QB.

ND Pass Offense vs USC Pass Defense

Two thoughts, which may or may not be related to this game. I read a comment over on Fanblogs that considered the Heisman a two-year process: first comes the "hype year," then the year when the trophy is one. Think of it: two years ago, Leinart got tons of hype, while Jason White took home the hardware. The next year, Leinhart won, while Reggie Bush got the hype. This year, Bush is again a favorite, but Brady Quinn is starting to pick up some hype. He's still a longshot, both in this year and the next, but "I'm just sayin'." Thought two: Carson Palmer looked flat-out overmatched for years against ND, until 2002, when everything clicked and he won big. Quinn (along with the rest of the team) has looked overmatched for two years against USC....
OK, enough of that. Back to the analysis. Quinn has numbers eerily similar to Leinart's at this point (Leinart's numbers in parentheses): 1621 yards (1646), 324.5 per game (329.2), 65.3 completion percentage (65.1), 13 TDs/3 INTs (12/3). Rhema McKnight "might play" in this game, but his absence hasn't been too noticeable as of late. Jeff Samardzija has become a manchild, picking up 499 yards and 8 TDs on 28 catches (99.8 yards, 5.6 catches per game). After him, Mo Stovall has become (usually) a reliable posession receiver. Stovall has 388 yards and 1 TD on 23 catches (77.6 yards, 4.6 catches per game). Also with 23 catches is tight end Anthony Fasano. Fasano also has 249 receiving yards, or 49.8 per game. After the big three, Darius Walker has 17 catches and 116 yards out of the backfield and Matt Shelton has 159 yards on 14 quick slants.
I would predict Jersey Boy Fasano to have a big game based on the rumored guests for this Friday's pep rally. However, he and John Carlson may be preoccupied helping tackles Ryan Harris and Mark LeVoir with defensive ends Frostee Rucker and Lawrence Jackson, who have combined for 8 sacks and 12 backfield stops on the season. Overall, USC has 16 sacks, which breaks down to 3 by the linebackers, 1 by a cornerback (Justin Wyatt), .5 by a safety (Josh Pinkard), and 11.5 by the line. The Trojans also have 10 picks, led by CB John Walker and S Josh Pinkard with 2 each. The breakdown on INTs is 3 by corners, 5 by safeties, and 2 by linebackers. What that tells us about USC's coverage schemes, I don't know, but hopefully Rick Minter does.

Special Teams

USC walk-on kicker Mario Danelo has made two field goals from 36 yards, and missed from 42. He is, however, perfect on 36 PAT attempts. Counterpart DJ Fitzpatrick is 6 for 7 on field goal attempts, including 1 for 2 from 48 yards. DJ is also perfect on 23 PAT attempts.
USC has punted 13 times this year, 12 by Tom Malone. Malone has an average of 42.8 yards with a long of 60, 2 touchbacks, and 4 kicks inside the 20. DJ Fitzpatrick has punted 19 times, with an average of 40.7 yards, a long of 60, 1 touchback, and four inside the 20. Fitzpatrick has also been blocked once.
USC's kick returners are running backs Reggie Bush and Desmond Reed. Guess who's having the better season? Bush is averaging 17.5 yards per on 8 returns, with a long of 30. Reed is averaging 40.8 yards per, with a long of 51. I still wouldn't kick to either. DJ Fitzpatrick and Carl Gioia have shared kickoff duties for the Irish, although it is usually Fitzpatrick who is called upon in key situations. Fitzpatrick is averaging just under 58 yards per kick, which translates to an average start at the 12 yard line. Gioia is just behind at 56 yards per kick. DJ has 4 touchbacks to Gioia's 2. ND coverage teams are surrendering 19.5 yards per return, giving opponents an average start between the 30 and the 35. Lately, coach Charlie Weis has lived by the philosophy of kicking it high and placing it well to avoid a big return - so taht is something else to take into consideration.
Notre Dame's kick return duties have been shared between Justin Hoskins, Brandon Harris, and David Grimes. Grimes has taken over the primary role with his long of 40 yards and 31 yard per return average. Comparatively, Hoskins has an average of 23 and long of 24, while Harris has an average of 17.7 and long of 22. Freshman Troy Van Blarcom has been the kickoff specialist for the Trojans. Van Blarcom has a 63.6 yard average with 12 touchbacks and 2 kicks out of bounds. His average gives opponents a start at the 1.4 yard line. From there, the coverage team is giving up 26.6 yards per return, meaning opponents start around the 28 yard line.
Reggie Bush has been USC's punt returner, but he has been less than impressive. On 7 returns, Bush has an average of 5.7 yards, including a long of 24. Opponents have punted the ball 28 times, which means 75% of the time, they just avoid Bush. Notre Dame's punt coverage team has been great this year - yielding 5.4 yards per return.
Safety Tom Zbikowski is the Irish punt returner. On 7 returns, he has averaged 13.5 yards, with a long of 25. The Trojan punt coverage team is yeilding a mediocre 17 yards per return.


Look for a big game from Quinn, the O-Line, Samardzija, BHoyte, Laws, Fitzpatrick, Weis.

ND 41, USC 38: Samardzija, RPN, Walker, Fasano, Zbikowski, and two by DJ. Wanna fight about it?

USC Blogs

TrojanWire
HeismanPundit
Boi from Troy
SC Football
Irish Trojan
Tribute to Troy
USC Trojan Football
Fanblogs USC

KankaNation Top 15How they voted

	Andy	Dave	F-Bomb	Kanka	Pete
1	USC	USC	USC	USC	USC
2	Texas	Texas	Texas	Texas	Texas
3	Va Tech	Va Tech	Va Tech	Va Tech	Va Tech
4	Georgia	Georgia	Georgia	Georgia	Georgia
5	Alabama	Alabama	FSU	Alabama	Alabama
6	Penn St	Penn St	Alabama	FSU	FSU
7	FSU	FSU	Miami	UCLA	Miami
8	UCLA	UCLA	Penn St	Penn St	UCLA
9	Miami	Notre Dame	LSU	Florida	Penn St
10	Notre Dame	Miami	Notre Dame	Miami	Mich St
11	LSU	LSU	UCLA	California	Notre Dame
12	Texas Tech	Texas Tech	Florida	Notre Dame	LSU
13	Florida	Mich St	Ohio St	LSU	Texas Tech
14	Boston College	Florida	Mich St	Minnesota	Florida
15	California	Boston College	Texas Tech	Mich St	California

Rumor Mill Smells Like a Newark Factoryby Dave's brother, aka Michael Schmitt

I got a late e-mail from my Dad last night asking about that Bon Jovi rumor. My Dad seems to know everything about sports, and I seem to know everything about everything else. So, I think we can deconstruct this rumor down to a good logical guess about whether or not ND booked everyone's favorite composer of Backer Ballads for this Friday’s pep rally. Let's take a look at the facts, shall we?

All rumored celebs for this next pep rally include:

1) Bon Jovi
2) Joe Montana
3) Lou Holtz
4) Vince Vaughn
5) Jesus
6) The Beatles

Scientifically speaking,

1) Bon Jovi

The last big rumored guest was Ara and Ara showed, but due to typical slow/rude service at CJ’s and the added tension of David about to pop the question, David and Ellen as well as hundreds of other undergrad students were locked out of this Pep Rally. I however, ran and broke in through the Hockey arena, went up the back stairs, lapped through a dungeon-ish locker room, burst up through a Men’s Fencing practice that was taking place, stopped to ask directions, and then went through another passage way that put me right out in front of the Heismans. I caught the last second of Ara’s speech wherein he guaranteed victory (as most speakers who played or coached before Lou Holtz tend to do at pep rallies) thus jinxing that incredible defeat. I don’t know what any of that has to do with Bon Jovi.

The result of so many people turning up for the last rally was that they decided to move the USC rally to ND Stadium for the first time in ages. Bon Jovi is an arena rocker fond of playing open air stadiums in such exotic locales as the Meadowlands Arena. South Bend has a larger appropriation of mullets per townie than a Parisian café has mullets per latte. Score one for Bon Jovi.

The marching band has been practicing "Living on a Prayer" for two weeks now. Having played this tune for the last three or so seasons in a row, one should think that by now they would want to save it for a very special occasion... e.g. the composer of said Backer Ballad decides to rock the USC pep rally. Score two for Bon Jovi.

7 layers of truth:

1) We had Carson Daly at last year’s USC pep rally. Carson Daly dated Jennifer Love Hewitt. 2) Jennifer Love Hewitt’s career right now consists of making it onto absurd VH1’s hottest countdowns. 3) VH1 used to play lots of Bon Jovi before they traded 80’s music videos for a celebrity format similar to the E!-channel. 4) ESPN and most sports networks have lately adopted a similar celebrity format to keep girlfriends from switching the channel on their pussy-whipped boyfriends. 5) USC quarterback Matt Leinart and boy-band extraordinaire Nick Lachey are tremendously pussy whipped boyfriends who love to 'chill' and watch Jessica Simpson’s latest classics. 6) The vomit inducing 'classic' Dukes of Hazzard remake starring Jessica Simpson was executive produced by Bruce Berman. 7) Bruce Berman produced a few good movies, one of which was Mystic River starring Kevin Bacon.

Score 7 for Bon Jovi.

Charlie W is a Jersey boy who attended college right around the time that groups like REO Speedwagon were making way in the music biz for acts like Jon Bon Jovi.

The conversion is good! Score 8 for Bon Jovi.

All signs seem to point to the Jersey Kid.

This would be a terrible rumor to be false—not to mention a terrible rumor to miss if it’s true. I’m hedging my bets on this one being true.

2) Joe Montana

I saw Joe Montana on “Best Damn Sports” show last night doing a Niners/Joe/Jerry sycophant special. He wouldn’t admit whether or not he would be speaking at the pep rally when asked—so that means he definitely will be. Reggie Bush was in the audience instead of doing push-ups in his room, whereas Ronnie Lott who is retired and probably only plays golf now, was so busy that he had to phone in to the show to speak with Joe.

3) Lou Holtz

Lou will probably be there, but I’m guessing he won’t speak. Just a hunch.

4) Vince Vaughn

Vince did a stand-up show here last Saturday. I missed it, “Big whoop, do you wannda fight aboud it?” Someone probably should have tried to sit Vince down at the Backer and keep him drunk until the pep rally, but I’m guessing he won’t be back in South Bend for a while.

5) Jesus H Christ

No seriously folks, I got an official e-mail from student affairs informing me that the guy who learned Aramaic and smattered himself with fake blood for our beloved Mel Gibson's Passion will be speaking at the grotto on Thursday. The topic will be his spiritual journey or some other business that nobody but writers for Advocata Nostra and the Irish Rover would sincerely care about. I’m definitely going to Tivo that one out of my weekend.

6) Fab Four

I heard somewhere that they’re bigger than Jesus. Must be a rumor.




Thanks for reading all this garbage, can somebody write my midterm paper for me now??????????????????? Ellen??????

GO IRISH BEAT TROJANS

2005 Baseball Awards

Inspired by the great work Tom Verducci does at Sports Illustrated, including his under-25 team, here are my year-end awards. For each position, there are multiple categories of winners: the overall category, the "rising star," and the no-name. The "rising star" is a player under 30 with less than 3 years of playing experience. The no-name is someone that most people haven't heard of, and who usually doesn't fit into the rising star category. For each category, there are three winners: the Verducci winner, the Gammons winner, and the Kanka winner. Tom Verducci seems to be quite into statistics, so the Verducci winner is the person with the best statistical year, according to CBS Sportsline's Player Rankings. Peter Gammons goes more on gut feeling than numbers, so there I went with whomever he may pick. Then, since this is my site, I also threw in a Kanka winner, based on my own criteria.
Without further ado, here they are:

Catcher

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Victor Martinez, Indians. .305 AVG, 20 HR, 80 RBI. Martinez proves that it's not how you start, but how you finish. Early in the season, Jason Varitek was flirting with .350 while Martinez was struggling to stay above the Mendoza line. After an incredibly hot August and September, Martinez, who shared the catcher Silver Slugger award with Pudge Rodriguez last year, will likely be the sole recipient of that trophy this year.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Martinez
Kankaly Speaking: Martinez
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Martinez
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Martinez
Kankaly Speaking: Martinez
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Bengie Molina, Angels. .295 AVG, 15 HR, 69 RBI. Wait, this guy is batting 5th for a playoff team?
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Ramon Hernandez, Padres. .290 AVG, 12 HR, 58 RBI. Injuries have slowed his progress, but he's a good hitting catcher.
Kankaly Speaking: Javier Valentin, Reds. .281 AVG, 14 HR, 50 RBI. Jose's brother put up those numbers in a mere 76 games as a backup catcher/first baseman. He may never be a star, but he'll be a solid catcher.

First Base

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Mark Teixeira, Rangers. .301 AVG, 43 HR, 144 RBI. Both Derrek Lee and Albert Pujols hit in the .330s and had more runs and stolen bases. (Lee also had 3 more HR.) But, apparently RBI are the most important to CBS Sportsline.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Pujols. Just a natural baseball player. He can flat-out hit, and he's excelled at every position he's been put at.
Kankaly Speaking: I'm a huge Pujols fan, but you have to give Lee some credit here. He did lead first basemen in home runs, and led the entire league in average. Plus, he's always been a Gold Glove first baseman. No need to punish him just because his team fell out of the playoff picture.
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Teixeira, assuming Pujols is an established star.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Teixeira, for the reasons above.
Kankaly Speaking: Teixeira
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Teixeira
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Chad Tracy, Diamondbacks. .308 AVG, 27 HR, 72 RBI.
Kankaly Speaking: Shea Hillenbrand, Blue Jays. .291 AVG, 18 HR, 82 RBI. Not bad for a guy who was driven out of Boston for not taking enough pitches.

Second Base

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Brian Roberts, Orioles. .314 AVG, 18 HR, 73 RBI, 92 R, 27 SB. Started the season like gangbusters, before an injury took him down for a few weeks. Somehow, Roberts' numbers edge out Chase Utley's .291 AVG, 28 HR, 105 RBI, 16 SB.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Utley.
Kankaly Speaking: Ron Belliard, Indians. .284 AVG, 17 HR, 78 RBI. The numbers don't look like much, but what he did for the Indians this year can't be put on paper. Of course, his defense can be put on "Web Gems," and his clubhouse and on-field antics can be put on audio tape.
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Roberts barely still qualifies for this category.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Utley
Kankaly Speaking: Roberts. He had shown glimpses of greatness while sharing time with Jerry Hairston. In his first full season, he showed how great he is.
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Placido Polanco, Tigers. .331 AVG, 9 HR, 56 RBI. Don't look now, but that .331 average led the league.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Jorge Cantu, Devil Rays. .286 AVG, 28 HR, 117 RBI. Big potential to move into the "Rising Stars" category next year, and big potential to pick up some Rookie of the Year votes as well.
Kankaly Speaking: Cantu. People talk about Robinson Cano because he plays for the Yankees, and Cantu because he's a great hitter. If they changed teams, no one would be talking about Cano.

Third Base

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees. .321 AVG, 48 HR, 130 RBI, 124 R, 21 SB. There's still a huge difference from playing heads-up baseball and cheating, Alex.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Morgan Ensberg, Astros. .283 AVG, 36 HR, 101 RBI.
Kankaly Speaking: Chone Figgins, Angels. .290 AVG, 113 R, 62 SB. Led the league in steals by a slim margin over Jose Reyes, Scott Podsednik, and Juan Pierre. Plus, did you really expect me to not pick the utility guy? (And yes, split infinitives are now gramatically acceptable. I don't think starting a sentence with the word "and" is, however.)
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Figgins
Gammonsesquily Speaking: David Wright, Mets. .306 AVG, 27 HR, 102 RBI, 17 SB. Again, not bad for the first full season of work. Plus, he turned in two of the best defensive plays of the year.
Kankaly Speaking: Wright beats out Hank Blalock in an off year by Blalock.
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Ensberg
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Ensberg
Kankaly Speaking: Ensberg

Shortstop

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Michael Young, Rangers. .331 AVG, 24 HR, 91 RBI. Tied for the highest average in the AL, and second only to Miguel Tejada (26) for home runs by a shortstop. Not bad numbers for a natural second baseman.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Young.
Kankaly Speaking: Not Derek Jeter.
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Felipe Lopez, Reds. .291 AVG, 23 HR, 85 RBI, 15 SB. Not bad for his first full season in the bigs.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Jhonny Peralta, Indians. .292 AVG, 24 HR, 78 RBI. In spring training, he was fighting Brandon Phillips for a roster spot. Then, he was hitting 9th and not playing every day. By the end of the season, he had worked his way up to the third spot in the lineup, and he proved that he can be an every day Major League shortstop. Honorable mention to Clint "Deer Meat" Barmes of the Rockies.
Kankaly Speaking: Peralta. Yes, I know he "can't" spell his first name. Have you seen him turn a double play with Ronnie Belliard? And how clutch is he in the late innings?
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Jimmy Rollins, Phillies. .290 AVG, 41 SB, 115 R. He shouldn't be a no-name by any sense of the imagination. But, for some reason, no one talks about him.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Julio Lugo, Devil Rays. .295 AVG, 39 SB, 89 R. Plus, he finally learned how to play defense consistently.
Kankaly Speaking: Jack Wilson, Pirates. .257 AVG, 8 HR, 7 SB. OK, so 2004 was the only season where he hit above .260. But, have you seen what this guy can do on defense?

Left Field

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Manny Ramirez, Red Sox. .292 AVG, 45 HR, 144 RBI. Hey Ellen, here are some pictures of Manny being huggy.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Miguel Cabrera, Marlins. .323 AVG, 33 HR, 116 RBI. OK, so it's hard to top Manny. But Miguel certainly tried.
Kankaly Speaking: Cabrera. Still some mention should go to Jason Bay, whose .306 AVG. 32 HR, and 21 SB somehow wedged him between Manny and Miguel in the Sportsline rankings.
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Bay
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Cabrera
Kankaly Speaking: Carl Crawford, Devil Rays. .301 AVG, 15 HR, 46 SB. Let's put it this way: If you're building a young franchise, and you can't get Cabrera, don't be too upset if you're left with Crawford.
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Pat Burrell, Phillies. .281 AVG, 32 HR, 117 RBI.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Carlos Lee, Brewers. .265 AVG, 32 HR, 114 RBI, 13 SB. In the hunt for the HR and RBI titles for a while.
Kankaly Speaking: Randy Winn. .306 AVG, 20 HR, 63 RBI, 19 SB. Why not. You only hear his name when he gets traded, but he is a career .288 hitter who can play all three outfield positions. (Which is approximately three more positions than Carlos Lee can play.)

Center Field

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Andruw Jones, Braves. .263 AVG, 51 HR, 128 RBI. He still can't hit for average, but this year he made up for that. Plus, even if he's starting to lose a step, he's still ahead of most center fielders defensively.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Jones
Kankaly Speaking: Jones
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Grady Sizemore, Indians. .289 AVG, 22 HR, 81 RBI, 111 R, 22 SB. Not bad for a guy who didn't even break camp with the team. Verducci even put Sizemore at #7 in his list of AL MVP finalists.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Sizemore. The Tribe lineup gelled when Sizemore was moved to the leadoff spot.
Kankaly Speaking: Sizemore. When the Indians Team Shops started selling pink "Mrs. Sizemore" t-shirts, they sold out in one day. The women in Cleveland love him, and most of the men have man-crushes on him.
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Vernon Wells, Blue Jays. .269 AVG, 28 HR, 97 RBI. Don't know why he's still a no-name, but here he is.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Brady Clark, Brewers. .306 AVG, 13 HR, 94 R, 10 SB. A breakout year for Clark, buried by Carlos Lee's surge and the Brewers lack of success.
Kankaly Speaking: Clark, but only because Jim Edmonds' .263 AVG/29 HR/89 RBI season is an off year for him.

Right Field

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Gary Sheffield, Yankees. .291 AVG, 34 HR, 123 RBI. Hey, he does have great badspeed and a Stan Musial-esque ability to keep his bat level.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Vlad Guerrero, Angels. .317 AVG, 32 HR, 108 RBI. The numbers speak for themselves.
Kankaly Speaking: Guerrero
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Craig Monroe, Tigers. .277 AVG, 20 HR, 89 RBI. I kid you not.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Jeff Francoeur, Braves. .300 AVG, 14 HR, 45 RBI. That's in only 70 games.
Kankaly Speaking: Francoeur.
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Geoff Jenkins, Brewers. .292 AVG, 25 HR, 86 RBI. Hmm... good veteran outfield, three Baseball America Top 100 infielders, a proven #1 starter, and a solid closer (see below). Can the Brewers start to turn it around?
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Jermaine Dye, White Sox. .274 AVG, 31 HR, 86 RBI. Hey, it doesn't look like much, but it was enough for this team.
Kankaly Speaking: Jenkins

Designated Hitter

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: David Ortiz, Red Sox. .300 AVG, 47 HR, 148 RBI. An MVP candidate, and very worthily so.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: It's hard to argue with Ortiz.
Kankaly Speaking: ...unless you're an Indians fans. Travis Hafner, Indians. .305 AVG, 33 HR, 108 RBI. Pronk is an absolute manchild. Even after missing almost a full month thanks to a Mark Buehrle curveball to the face, Hafner was still third in Verducci's list of AL MVP finalists. Verducci has a great point - Hafner is a very valuable member of the Tribe lineup.
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Hafner
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Hafner
Kankaly Speaking: Hafner
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Raul Ibanez, Mariners. .305 AVG, 33 HR, 108 RBI. That's a great season that went almost entirely overlooked.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Ibanez, although special mention goes to Dave Dellucci, who hit 29 HR out of the leadoff spot for the Rangers this year.
Kankaly Speaking: Ibanez

Starting Pitcher

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Dontrelle Willis, Marlins. 22-10, 2.63 ERA, 170 K. Let the debate begin.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Chris Carpenter, Cardinals. 21-5, 2.83 ERA, 213 K. I believe that Verducci actually placed Carpenter just ahead of Willis in his NL Cy Young finalist list.
Kankaly Speaking: Carpenter, although I honestly just flipped a coin to decide that.
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Willis
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Willis, but only because Johan Santana doesn't qualify, and Jake Peavy's 13-7 record is an off year for him.
Kankaly Speaking: Clifford Lee, Indians. 18-5, 3.79 ERA, 143 K. Bartolo who?
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Carpenter
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Roy Oswalt, Astros. 20-12, 2.94 ERA, 184 K. Is he only a no-name because he plays in Houston, or because he plays along side Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte?
Kankaly Speaking: Carpenter. I had Carpenter, Jason Marquis, and Rodrigo Lopez as finalists for my last fantasy baseball roster spot. Of course, I took Lopez.

Relief Pitcher

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Mariano Rivera, Yankees. 43 SV, 1.38 ERA, 80 K.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Chad Cordero, Nationals. 47 SV, 1.82 ERA, 61 SV. By the way, he's the Major League saves leader this year.
Kankaly Speaking: Bob Wickman, Indians. 45 SV, 2.47 ERA, 41 K. He wasn't fun to watch, but the Tribe wouldn't have been knocking on Chicago's door if it wasn't for him. Wickman tied for the AL lead in saves.
Rising Star
Verduccily Speaking: Derrick Turnbow, Brewers. 39 SV, 1.74 ERA, 64 K. How he beats Brad Lidge's 42 SV, 2.29 ERA, and 103 K, I'm not sure.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Huston Street, A's. 23 SV, 1.72 ERA, 72 K. Project out over a full season, Street would likely beat Turnbow, Cordero, Lidge, and Frankie Rodriguez (45 SV, 2.67 ERA, 91 K).
Kankaly Speaking: Lidge. Does that make me a "Domer Homer?" Lidge and BJ Ryan were the only closers to top the 100 K mark. Lidge is said to have one of the best sliders in baseball.
No-Name
Verduccily Speaking: Turnbow
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Todd Jones. 40 SV, 2.10 ERA, 62 K. It was a great comeback season for the not-so-openminded Jones.
Kankaly Speaking: Jason Isringhausen, Cardinals. 39 SV, 2.14 ERA, 51 K. Why has no one heard of this guy?

Manager

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Tony LaRussa, Cardinals. The Cards' 100-62 record was a game better than the White Sox 99-63 record.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: Ozzie Guillen, White Sox. Everyone thought he was crazy bringing small ball to US Cellular Field, but he made it work, and he's still making it work.
Kankaly Speaking: Eric Wedge, Indians. He's still learning on the job, and his teams can be downright terrible at small ball, but he's managed to turn a bunch of youngsters into a pennant contenders.

General Manager

Overall
Verduccily Speaking: Ken Williams, White Sox. He somehow managed to make the Esteban Loiaza for Jose Contreras and Carlos Lee for Scott Podsednik deals look good, and added key pieces in Tad Iguchi and Jermaine Dye.
Gammonsesquily Speaking: John Schuerholz, Braves. Normally, teams have to rebuild to get the young talent the Braves have. Eighteen rookies! Where did they all come from?
Kankaly Speaking: Mark Shapiro, Indians. Technically, Shapiro should be the Gammonsesque pick as well, but someone deserves credit for what the Braves have done. But, even more credit goes to Shapiro. The cupboards were bare when he came in, and he traded away the present to restock them. In the Bartolo COlon trade, Shapiro got two players who may be All Starts as early as 2006 (Lee and Sizemore). His philosophy of using players with good character led to the trade of Milton Bradley, for whom Franklin Gutierrez was acquired. The Bradley trade also allowed Coco Crisp, and eventually Sizemore, to play every day. The Indians have a bright future for years to come.

KankaNation Movie Reviews

Saw a few movies this weekend. Here are the mini-reviews:

• Waiting: Went to see this in the theater with F-Bomb. Good choice, considering the characters in the movie were basically me and F-Bomb's friends. There's not much of a plot - it's more of a "day in the life" movie. But, the one liners and random moments more than make up for plot. It was a good show, if not raunchy. Overall, it's the type of movie you enjoy, but maybe don't want to admit to enjoying.


• Family Guy Presents: Stewie Griffin, The Untold Story: Basically three successive episodes combined into one story. If you only watch the show for Quagmire or Cleveland, you're out of luck. But, if you're a fan of the main characters, prepare for many laugh out loud moments.


• Napoleon Dynamite: I've only seen this once, so technically the jury's still out. But, I think I know now why so many of my readers suggested this to me: like my writing, this movie is just very absurd. Funny, but absurd.


• Team America, World Police: Hilarious if you're not easily offended. As you can expect from the creators of South Park, it's a great social commentary as well.


• Monty Python's The Meaning of Life: OK, actually haven't seen this one yet. It's next on the list.

Rumor Mill

Judging by the Google searches that have been leading to my site lately, there must be a rumor going around campus (ND's campus, that is) that Bon Jovi will be at this weekend's pep rally. Has anyone else heard this?

...and some randomness

Check out Five Bucks to Friday, a comic by a Notre Dame grad. Do these two strips remind you of a certain group of friends?

Second Kankaversary

Sunday, October 9, is KankaNation's second anniversary. The shark jumping all began here.

It's been said before, but I couldn't do it without my readers. Actually, I wouldn't do it without my readers - it'd be kind of pointless then, wouldn't it? So, whether you're an occasional reader, a longtime lurker, or a "loyal KankaManiac," please post to the message board to let us know who you are and what you think of the site.

As regular readers know, I don't have much of a life, but I do have an active imagination. In that spirit, here's a look at what the KankaNation Second Anniversary Party might have been like:

The scene is the Fisher 1B quad. Kanka, Andy, and Scovil are present.
"Wow, it sure was nice of Fr. Rob to let us have the entire 1B hall for this anniversary party.
"It sure was," answers Kanka. "But, do you think it was too much to make this a Halloween party, too?"
"Not at all," replies Andy. "By the way, how do you think my Strongbad costume turned out?"
"Every time I look at it, I can't believe how awesome it is!"
"Hey, thanks," says Andy. "By the way, what are you going as?"
"Not sure yet. Hey Chris, nice Christmas tree costume. Come over here so I can get a better look."
"I can't," Chris responds. "Yonto put up all these Christmas lights, and now I can't move!"
"Speaking of which," says Kanka, "where is Yonto?"
"He went to pick up his uncle, The Coach," says Andy.
Just then, Mike and Meg Hatton enter. "Mike! Meg! Thanks for coming," says Kanka. "How's 'Charlotte' doing?" he adds, lining up to yell "Football!" into Meg's belly.
"Very funny," answers Meg.
Mike quickly changes the subject: "Hey, Kanka, we brought you a present!"
"Let me guess, it's a woman," Kanka says, with a mixture of sarcasm and hopefulness.
"Nope."
"Is it Woman?" Kanka asks with must trepidation.
"Wait, what, no!" Mike replies, giving his best Klondike impression. "It's a 'Best of the Backer' CD."
"Well, great, throw it in!" Kanka says excitedly. Then, in the roundabout way of thinking and talking that only he has mastered, Kanka adds, "Speaking of Klondike, as we were... kind of... well, not really. Did we remember to invite him?"
"No," replies Mike. "We need to call him. Who has a phone?"
"I do," Kanka quickly answers. "Oh, wait, no, nevermind."
Andy asks, "do you think he'll come? He is at least two hours away."
Mike and Kanka simultaneously reply, "Of course."
Mike remembers that he himself has a phone, so he calls the erstwhile Alaskan to invite him to the party.
Klondike begins with his familiar excuse: "I don't know; I have work to do."
"Brittany can come, too."
"We'll be right there."
Just then, an ominous figure fills the room. "Hey guys, can I borrow your computer?" asks KankaNation Hall of Famer Darrell Campbell.
"Do you have to talk like that?" Andy reflexively answers.
Realizing the possible trouble, Kanka quickly changes the subject. "Hey Darrell, how would you like to be Securitah for the party?"
"Dude, securitah? Sweeeet." Darrell rips a sleeve off his yellow shirt and places it on his head, then takes post at the door.
Just then, a train whistle is heard. Everyone rushes to the window to see what's going on. (Well, everyone except Scovil, of course. He still can't move.) A giant train had pulled into the courtyard between Fisher and Pangborn! Just then, Yonto and The Coach (another KankaNation Hall of Famer) walk out.
"Hey guys," Yonto starts, sheepishly. "Sorry I'm so late. The train broke down. I tried to get the Leprechaun Legion to pull it, but they were no help."
"I told you," Coach Yonto says.
"So, wait," asks Mike, "when did you learn how to control a train?"
"I can't," replies Yonto. "But Aflac can. He's an engineer, duh."
At that moment, Aflac steps out of the train carrying Dave's Katie Holmes poster. "Hey guys!"
As if on cue, Dave and Ellen come in the door. Ellen looks awkwardly at Dave. "Um, I need to use the bathroom."
"Um, me too," replies Dave, as they slowly move away from each other.
Right behind Dave and Ellen enter F-Bomb and Sarah Paulson. Kanka greets them at the door. "Hey, Sarah, good to see you here! Wasn't there a sax party going on right now?"
"Oh, yeah, um...." mumbled Sarah.
[At this point, F-Bomb goes off on a 45 minute rant. The only words I can print here are "man," "saxes," "mother," and meatloaf." I'm still not sure how meatloaf came up.]
Breaking up the rant, Dave walks up. "Hey Kanka."
"Hey Dave."
Seconds later, Ellen walks up. "Hey Kanka Love!"
Dave gives Ellen an odd look. "Wait, did you just ditch me for Kanka?"
Ellen replies, "Um, maybe. Wait, did you just ditch me for Kanka?"
"Um, yeah."
"Hey, I'm hungry from all that ranting," F-Bomb interjects. "Does anyone know where I can get a turkey hot dog?"
"Turkey hot dog? Do you know what you're getting yourself into?" Yep, it was Jon Byrer.
Meanwhile, at the door, Darrell is inspecting the jacket of a certain suspicious ne'er-do-well. "Is this gin or vodka in this flask?"
"It's gin," replies Klondike. Then, reaching into another pocket, he pulls out a second flask. "This is the vodka. I have rum and whisky, too, if that's what you're into."
"Oh James," sighs Brittany in mild disappointment.
"Hey guys, look who I found!" Klondike exclaims while walking through the door. "It's Scott and Kim!"
Conveniently, "Techno" comes on the stereo at that very moment. Calls rise for the piccs to shimmy. Reluctantly, those calls are answered.
Mike suddenly comes to a realization. "Hey Klondike, you've been here for 3 minutes, and you haven't called Amber yet!"
"You're right. Hold on a second." Klondike takes out his phone and punches in his #1 speed dial. (In case you were wondering, Brittany is #3 behind a killer cigar shop in downtown Aurora.)
"Hey Amber."
"..."
"We're having a party, and you're not here."
"..."
"Well, gotta go!"
"Look, Klondike, I'm really sick of the whole '...' joke. It's old. I do talk! Oh wait, I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry. I need to get back to living in LA and being on TV. I'm sorry."
Just then, F-Bomb comes tearing by Klondike. "You guys. Seriously. You guys. Cronk's sister and Pete's sister are making out right now in the other room!" Kanka and F-Bomb rush into the other room, while a spattering of the other guys slowly follow. The group enters the room to find that, in fact, Cronk and Pete, and not their sisters, are the ones that are making out. Lisa, Cronk's sister, and Pete's sister stand in the corner, each wearing the Cronk Face. Kanka turns to leave, only to be greeted by F-Bomb giving him "the goat."
A car pulls up outside the window of this side room. Inside the car are Emily and four random blonde women. "Pete! Pete's sister!" Emily yells. "Hurry up, we have to get back to the Amazing Race."
"Wait," Pete says. "Are we actually related?"
Emily looks at each of the girls in the car, then to Pete and his sister. "I have no idea."
As Pete and his sister crawl out the window, everyone heads back to the main party room. In the hallway, they're greeted by Marcus Barlow and Gary Godsey. Marcus, of course, is flanked by a group of hot Corby's girls.
"Hey Marcus," says Gary, "this isn't the Backer."
"I told you, I have to hit this party. That's how I roll."
Upon entering, Gary sees Jessi and Ellen (but not Ellen's butt). Realizing that this place must be cool after all, he grabs a beer and finds a seat in the corner where he can just be Gary Godsey.
While Kanka and F-Bomb were in the other room, Kanka's Lorain friends my buddy Matt, Fired Up Friend Todd, and Infamous Cousin joined the party. Just wanted to point that out.
The next person to enter is Dave's brother Michael. Kanka spots him and says, "Hey, Mike, great Jeff Samardzija costume - love the hair!"
"Uhh... that's not a costume...."
"I can take care of the hair," said Nick Schumacher, entering in full fencing gear.
"Uh, no, I'm good," replied Michael.
Kanka compliments Nick on his costume. "Oh, yeah, costume, right...."
Changing the subject, Michael mentions the guy he saw lying on the ground on his way in. "He was wearing a Packers #4 jersey, and he was really beat up."
"Wow, I knew Brett Farve was having a rough year, but..." said Kanka, trying to make a joke. "Wait a minute, that's the Catholic Packer Fan! I warned him to stay away from Mike; we all know how much Mike hates the Packers."
"Um, yeah," said Michael, "I also saw someone in a #22 women's basketball jersey."
"Alicia?!" Kanka excitedly exclaims.
"No, it was a dude."
"Oh. Hey, that must be The Backer!"
"Wait, wasn't Pat Quill coming to this?" F-Bomb asks Dave.
"Nah. He's either hanging out with random hot girls or designing state quarters."
Just then, Andy's voice comes over the stereo system. "It's karaoke time!"
A voice comes from the crowd. "ND band play 'Fins!'"
"Chad!" exclaims Ellen, running over to give him a huge hug. "Wait a minute, I have something to do."
As Enrique Iglasias's "Escape" blares through the speakers, Ellen and Kanka put on the most spectacular singing and dancing exhibition EVER.
As "Escape" ends, Dave comes up to the microphone. "It's our turn now." Dave and Kanka begin to reprise their performance of "Gin & Juice" from the FSU trip.
After about the seventh "BIATCH," a cool figure slinks into the room. The music gives the traditional "record player screeches to a halt" sound, which is odd, considering the song was on a CD. "Now wait just a minizzle," says Snoop Dogg. "Let me show you how it's done." Pulling out a microphone he just happened to keep in his jacket pocket, Snoop starts laying down the lyrics to his early hit.
Just as the song ends, Fr. John I. Jenkins, CSC walks into the room. "I am releasing the following statement. The University has determined that Kanka will not be retained as writer of this blog. The success of this blog consists of three things: Writing with integrity, giving the readers superb information, and excelling at humor. Meeting all of these goals is a tremendous challenge. But I believe we have found a person in Bill Simmons who can lead us to such multifaceted success."

That's my story the end.

F-Bomb's Words of Wisdom

Television

Well TV has certainly disappointed me once again. This time it comes in the form of “Nanny 911.” If you haven’t seen it, this is the show where Nannies help discipline children who were never parented correctly in the first place. So in essence we are sending the message to America that it is alright to not parent because someone somewhere will help you out. This is pure bullshit. Why should someone who wanted to be their kid’s friend instead of a parent get rewarded with help? Actually their reward is the fact that their kids run all over them. It just bugs the crap out of me that we put up with this in our society. Maybe I should somehow get in a position to declare martial law and then get a shotgun and kill these people.

Politics

It has become apparent that all politicians do is put up smoke screens. One of the biggest smoke screens like this was put up by the Republican Party who claimed to take the moral high road. Well this illusion has come crashing down in the fall of one of the conservative party’s figure heads, Tom Delay. Delay has been linked to money laundering of sorts to help other republicans, his wife, and himself. Now is this the worse crime? The straight answer is no! However it is reprehensible that when these crimes surfaced the “moral” party did not remove him from office, nor did he remove himself. You are all welcome to read about it yourself at the link below:
Story Link

Football

There have been a few surprises this year in the NFL. Patriots are up and down like a yo-yo, Charles Rodgers didn’t break his collar bone but he did get suspended for four games for violating the NFL substance abuse policy, and the Bengals are 4-0. Now am I happy that the Bengals don’t suck? Yes, very much so. But I cannot put up with this crap that the Bengals are that good. Look who their schedule has been: Cleveland, Minnesota, Chicago, and Houston. Well Cleveland sucks, no offense Kanka, Minnesota has underachieved all year so far, for Chicago see Cleveland, and Houston hasn’t played that well. Really my anger comes from the fact that ESPN has the Bengals ranked at number 3. Do you think that beating Houston 16-10 really warrant this ranking? No, hell the Steelers beat Houston 27-7 and they are ranked sixth and the Bengals only scrapped together a 16-10 victory. So let’s not suck off the Bengals just yet, wait till they beat someone good like the Steelers, Jaguars, or Indianapolis.


That’s all I got.

Later Bitches!

Alumni UpdateA look at former Notre Dame players now in the NFL

Major credit for this goes to NFLPlayers.com, the official site of the NFL Player's Association. There, you can view stats, bios, interviews, video clips, and even email the players. Speaking of interviews, here are some of the highlights:

• John Carney's favorite movie is Valley Girl.


• Marc Edwards was the lead in his high school musical.


• Paul Grasmanis was a honors student at ND and listens to Run DMC before games.


• Growing up, Julius Jones admired Bo Jackson.


• Rick Mirer enjoys spending time on the Internet and hopes to learn how to surf well.


• Mike Rosenthal would title his autobiography The Biggest Jewish Dude You've Ever Seen.


• Allen Rossum's dream is to win the NBA dunk contest.

Arnaz Battle: In his third year with the 49ers, Battle has been promoted to San Francisco's #1 receiver. Battle has caught 15 passes for 2 TDs, run the ball three times for -2 yards, and completed 1 of 2 passes before knee strain sidelined him last week.

Bertrand Berry: Arizona's Pro Bowl defensive end has recorded 14 tackles and 4.5 so far this season.

Jerome Bettis: Bettis hasn't played yet this season, but he should be healthy enough for short yardage situations next Sunday. Duce Staley is healthy as well, so that may limit the Bus' carries in his 12th and final(?) season.

Jordan Black: Black is now a full-time starter at tackle in his third season with Kansas City.

Rocky Boiman: After seeing some starts at linebacker for the Titans in 2004 due to injuries, Boiman has settled back into his reserve role this season. In four games, he has 8 total tackles.

Tim Brown: Recently retired after a 16-year NFL career, Brown is now focusing on his position as a special assistant at Notre Dame and making a name for himself in NASCAR.

John Carney: Now in his 16th season, Carney has already made 9 of 11 field goals for the Saints. That of course includes the emotional week 1 gamewinner.

Deke Cooper: Cooper is now in his third season in the NFL. An injury has made him a starting safety for the Jaguars. In three games, he has 14 tackles, an interception, and a fumble recovery.

Brennan Curtin: Curtin would be going into his third season with the Packers, had he not been released in August.

Glenn Earl: A sometimes-starter for Houston in 2004, Earl has had his playing time greatly reduced in 2005. In only two games, Glenn Earl has recorded only one tackle.

Marc Edwards: In his 8th season in the league, Edwards was picked up by the Bears to be their starting fullback. Edwards has yet to carry the ball, but he does have 4 receptions for 14 yards.

Jeff Faine: Cleveland's first round draft pick in 2003 is now in his third season with the team. Despite criticism from his former offensive line coach, he has started every game he's been healthy for. Faine added a reception for -1 yard on a ball that bounced of a ref's head. (Technically an illegal touch, bu the penalty was declined.)

Mike Gandy: After being released by the Bears, Gandy signed with Buffalo, where he is now a starting lineman for offensive coordinator Tom Clements. Gandy is in his fifth season in the league.

David Givens: In his fourth season with the Patriots, Givens is becoming more and more of a go-to guy (in addition to being a clutch playoff performer). In four games, including three starts, he has caught 22 balls for 283 yards.

Joey Goodspeed: A year after he started at fullback in front of Marshall Faulk, Goodspeed was cut by St. Louis on the final roster cutdown day.

Paul Grasmanis: Grasmanis, now in his 10th year in the league, has suffered an Achilles' tear in each of his last three years with the Eagles. Grasmanis had one tackle in two games before going down last weekend.

Deveron Harper: Harper apparently last played for the Saints in 2004.

Craig Hentrich: Hentrich is in his 11th season, now with the Titans. He's averaging 43.3 yards per punt this year. Notre Dame's last full-time kicker/punter before Nick Setta, Hentrich has hit 11 for 18 field goals in his NFL career.

Grant Irons: Irons went into his fourth season as a starting outside linebacker in Oakland's 3-4. He had one tackle in that game. He hasn't started since, and he also hasn't recorded a tackle since that first game.

Jim Jones: Jones has spent his entire five year career on practice squads or in NFL Europe. This year, he's in his second year on the Steelers' practice squad.

Julius Jones: Julius burst onto the scene in 2004, picking up 819 rushing yards in eight games. In four starts this season, he has picked up 335 rushing yards and 82 receiving yards. At his current pace, he will gain 1340 yards on the ground this season.

Lance Legree: Legree is in his fifth season in the NFL, now with the Jets after four years with the Giants. In four games as a reserve defensive end, he has 6 tackles.

Sean Mahan: In his third season with Tampa Bay, Mahan has become a starting guard for the Buccaneers.

Rick Mirer: Mirer spent the 2004 season, his ninth in the league, on Detroit's practice squad. He was last seen hanging out at Corby's with his parents and a lady friend.

John Owens: In what would have been his fourth year in the league, Owens was traded from Miami to the Bears, never to be seen again. Mike, and leads?

Luke Petitgout: Ellen loves him. According to Klondike, "He really likes football for some reason." Luke is a starting tackle now in his sixth year with the Giants.

Mike Rosenthal: Also in his sixth year in the league, Rosenthal is a starting tackle for the Vikings.

Allen Rossum: Rossum is in his eighth season in the league, and his fourth with the Falcons. Listed at cornerback, his is primarily a return specialist. This year, Rossum has returned 5 punts for 14 yards, 3 kickoffs for 89 yards, and made two tackles.

Gerome Sapp: Sapp is now in his third season in the NFL. A reserve DB for the Colts, he has recorded 8 tackles in four games.

Hunter Smith: "Hunter the Punter" is in his 7th season as Indianapolis' punter. This season, he has averaged 43.6 yards on 19 punts.

Bobby Taylor: Taylor was released after spending the 2004 season, his 9th in the NFL, with the Seahawks. He reportedly has worked out for the Patriots at some point this season.

Justin Tuck: Quite possibly Michael Strahan's heir apparent, Tuck has made 10 tackles in his first four games as a Giant.

Kurt Vollers: After three seasons as a backup lineman for Dallas, Vollers was released on roster cutdown day September 3. Coach Bill Parcells said of Vollers, "I didn't think I wanted Vollers as a backup anymore. I think he served his time doing that."

Courtney Watson: Watson is now in his second season as the starting middle linebacker for the Saints. In four games, he has made 12 tackles and one sack.

Anthony Weaver: When not enjoying himself at the Class of 2003 senior formal, Weaver has spent the last three seasons as Baltimore's starting defensive end. Mistah Weavah made 11 tackles this season before dislocating a toe in last week's game. He's expected to miss 4-6 weeks.

Shawn Wooden: Wooden last played for the Dolphins in 2003, his 9th year in the league.

Renaldo Wynn: A starting defensive end for the Redskins this year, Wynn has made four tackles in three games thus far this year. 2005 is his 9th year in the league.

Bryant Young: Now in his 12th season in the NFL, Bryant has recorded 14 tackles and 6 sacks in four starts this year. Bryant has started and played for San Francisco his entire career. He has said he feels he owes a great deal of loyalty to this historic franchise.

Here's a breakdown by team:

New York Giants 3 (Legree, Petitgout, Tuck)
Indianapolis 2 (Sapp, Smith)
New Orleans 2 (Carney, Watson)
Pittsburgh 2 (Bettis, Jim Jones)
San Francisco 2 (Battle, Young)
Tennessee 2 (Boiman, Hentrich)
Arizona 1 (Berry)
Atlanta 1 (Rossum)
Baltimore 1 (Weaver)
Buffalo 1 (Gandy)
Chicago 1 (Edwards)
Cleveland 1 (Faine)
Dallas 1 (Julius Jones)
Houston 1 (Earl)
Jacksonville 1 (Cooper)
Kansas City 1 (Black)
Minnesota 1 (Rosenthal)
New England 1 (Givens)
Oakland 1 (Irons)
Philadelphia 1 (Grasmanis)
Tampa Bay 1 (Mahan)
Washington 1 (Wynn)

A Look at the FutureWho will the Cleveland Indians have back in 2006?

Pitchers

Rafael Betancourt: A solid reliever. Tried briefly at closer last year when Bob Wickman was injured. His 2.79 ERA was one of the reasons why this year's bullpen sparkled.

Andrew Brown: The 24-year old local product (Chardon, OH) was the throw-in in the Milton Bradley deal. The reliever did not see any Major League action after a solid season at AAA. He has a good shot at being a part of the future of this team.

Fernando Cabrera: Definitely a part of the future of this club, especially if there's a massive purge of the bullpen. He got a bunch of work in September, and sparkled with a 1.47 ERA.

Fausto Carmona: Didn't see any Major League action, despite a September call up. A top prospect at age 21, he may be a year or two away, but he should be a part of the future.

Jason Davis: Eric Wedge is in love with his velocity, but Davis' control leaves something to be desired. Davis very early lost his role in the rotation, and ended the season with an ERA just under five. Many self-appointed experts have said that he shouldn't have a future with this team. But, they're not the ones who make the decisions.

Scott Elarton: He pitched admirably for a number 5 starter, and that will probably get him a decent salary on the free agent market. Elarton has said he wants to come back to Cleveland, but his return may hinge on the resigning of Kevin Millwood. If the Indians can free up money for Millwood, Elarton may be let go in favor of Davis or Carmona.

Jeremy Guthrie: Once the top pitching prospect in the organization, Guthrie simply fell apart after his first promotion from AA to AAA a few years ago. How patient will the organization be with Guthrie?

Bob Howry: Howry is a free agent after this season. His re-signing is considered a top priority after a year in which he made the eigth inning a foregone conclusion. If Bob Wickman retires or can't be resigned, Howry will likely be Cleveland's number one choice for closer in 2006.

Cliff Lee: Bartolo who? The guy who was supposedly the second best piece of the Bartolo Colon trade put up Colon-esque numbers this year. An ERA of 3.79 and 18 wins to only 5 losses made the 27-year-old a dark horse for the Cy Young this year. Clifton Phifer Lee will be a staple of the rotation for years to come.

Kevin Millwood: Millwood is the key figure in Cleveland's offseason dealings. A question mark coming into the season due to his health, Millwood won the ERA title this year, beating Johann Santana by 0.01. Going into 2006, he and AJ Burnett are expected to be the top two starting pitchers on the free agent market. (Read: There is a 97% chance that Millwood and Burnett will be wearing pinstripes next season.) As stated above, it will likely be Elarton or Millwood back next year, but not most. Millwood already made $7 million this year, so his return isn't very likely.

Arthur Rhodes: Rhodes was acquired straight up for Matt Lawton. At the beginning of the season, as the top of the lineup struggled, everyone said that giving up Lawton was a bad idea. However, as the lineup gelled in its current state, and as Rhodes sparkled, it began to look like the Indians got the better of the deal. A lefty specialist, Rhodes actually did better against righties in opponents' batting average (.155 by righties vs. .286 by lefties). However, remember that LOOGIES (Lefty One-Out GuyS) often come in to turn switch hitters around to the right side. Rhodes did have to leave the team for at least a month due to an undisclosed family emergency. His contract has him around through 2006, so hopefully everything at home will be resolved for him.

David Riske: Riske is eligible for salary arbitration in 2006. If he files, there's a good chance Mark Shapiro will simply let him walk. Riske did have a 3.10 ERA in 2005, but he also had a bad habit of turning six run leads into save situations very quickly via the home run.

C.C. Sabathia: Already the cornerstone of this rotation, Sabathia is locked down for the next few years. Sabathia's year got off to a rocky start, and his emotions got the best of him. However, once it was discovered that he was tipping his pitches, and once he got his emotions in check, he was a new man. Sabathia ended the season 15-10 with an ERA of 4.03. His performance over his last 10 starts - 8-1, 1.79 ERA - is great momentum towards the 2006 season.

Scott Sauerbeck: Sauerbeck is a potential free agent. A bit inconsistent after a year out of baseball, he was able to log 58 games this season. He has hinted at a desire for more playing time, and with the popularity of left relievers, he could be fairly popular on the free agent market. This would leave Rhodes as the lone left-hander out of the bullpen.

Jake Westbrook: Westbrook is already locked up for next season. Like his sinker, his record was up and down this year. After starting the season 0-5 and 2-7, he finished with a record of 15-15. If he can keep the ball on the ground, he's a solid starter on any team.

Bob Wickman: I should have bought stock in antacid. Wickman had a career year - 2.47 ERA and 45 saves - but he always managed to make it interesting. But, his contract is up, and his return is in question. Wickman will be 37 next year, and he has considered retired. If he does come back, will his numbers cause him to ask for too much? All these questions will be answered in the months to come.

Catchers

Josh Bard: Bard has the talent to perhaps start on a bad team. However, he has remained unselfish, sacrificing at bats (only 83 this year) to be Vic Martinez' backup. He handles a pitching staff very well, and that may help him stick around.

Ryan Garko: A catcher by trade, the 24-year old is still a future prospect. Garko struck out in his only Major League at bat to date. Garko is a righty, and Cleveland has been longing for power from that side of the plate for the last few years. Garko has taken ground balls from first base, so a position change may be his future.

Victor Martinez: A definite cornerstone of this franchise, Martinez signed through the 2009 season, with an option for 2010. After a slow start (nothing out of the ordinary for him), Martinez went on a tear. When the dust settled, he was again one of the best hitting catchers in the game, with a .305 average, 20 HR, and 80 RBI.

Infielders

Ronnie Belliard: Another key player in the offseason free agent market. The club has an option on Belliard for 2006, and they should definitely take it. Belliard has become the Omar Vizquel of this year's team. Sure, his defense is spectacular, and he's become one of the best second basemen when it comes to turning the double play. But, he has also become an emotional leader of the team. He energizes the crowd with his hustle, and he keeps his teammates loose on the field. Omar always took it upon himself to keep Ronnie loose, and now Ronnie takes it upon himself to keep everyone else relaxed. For instance, when Bob Wickman starts putting guys on base, Belliard starts seranading Wickman in Spanish to get him to laugh. For many reasons, Belliard needs to be back on this team.

Aaron Boone: The Indians have already picked up Boone's option for 2006. Granted, his bat never got going after a year off, but his glove was clutch more often than not.

Ben Broussard: Broussard has a long swing, and this has caused him to be very streaky. His glove is OK, but he's prone to trouble on short hops. He may be expendable, but then who takes over at first? Hafner didn't play any games at first this season thanks to an injury during interleague play. Is Garko ready yet? Or will Broussard survive another year with the team?

Travis Hafner: Signed to a long term deal, Pronk is another cornerstone of the team. A darkhorse MVP candidate, the explosive and amicable Hanfer ended the season with a .305 average, 33 HR, and 108 RBI. The lefty farm boy with power to left center has at times reminded Cleveland fans of Jim Thome in his prime.

Jose Hernandez: Hernandez is a potential free agent. The versatile fielder ended up with 234 at bats in 84 games against righties, mostly filling in for Broussard at first. Utility infielders are often underappreciated as a commodity, so Hernadez may not be back next season.

Jhonny Peralta: It was a breakout season for young Jhonny. Peralta started the season hitting ninth in the order, and it wasn't sure if he was ready to be an everyday shortstop. By the end of the year, he was hitting .292 with 24 HR out of the three hole. The 24 homers were a new club record by a shortstop. He's definitely another piece of the puzzle to build around.

Ramon Vazquez: Vazquez will turn 30 next season. He was acquired from the Red Sox for Alex Cora. Cora was originally signed as insurance for Peralta. Once Peralta began to excel, the Vazquez-Cora trade was made to save $1.5 million. His contract isn't up, but he's by no means a member of the future of this club.

Outfielders

Casey Blake: A truly unselfish player, Blake was moved from 3B to 1B to 2B to LF to RF during the offseason. A natural athlete, he actually turned in a good performance in right this season, and he definitely had the arm for it. However, despite 23 HR, he hit only .241. Blake is already signed for 2006, but can he hit enough to be a starting corner outfielder on a pennant contender? Along with Broussard, don't be surprise if Blake is replaced by a free agent this winter.

Coco Crisp: Crisp has developed into a solid four tool player. He can hit (.300 average), hit for power when he puts a nice quick swing on the ball (16 HR, 69 RBI), field (Web Gem anyone), and run (15 SB, 86 R). The switch hitter is a solid #2 hitter. Traditionally, LF is a power position, but you can afford to put a top-of-the-lineup guy there when you're getting pop out of your shortstop. Crisp, who may be arbitration eligible, may also be in line for a long-term deal.

Jason Dubois: When the Indians acquired Dubois for Jody Gerut, it raised some eyebrows. Sure, Gerut was becoming a malcontent, and Dubois showed signs of power from the right side. But, the Indians need that power right now, and Dubois is still a few years off. Franklin Gutierrez is Cleveland's future in right field. So, unless Dubois has a great spring next season, he'll be at most a stopgap, and at least a pinch hitter.

Juan Gonzalez: It seemed like a good idea at the time: pay $600,000 to take a risk on a 400 home run guy. That $600k got the Indians one at bat before Juan Gone re-injured himself. His contract may have an option for 2006, but he likely won't be back.

Franklin Gutierrez: The 22-year old outfielder is a Baseball America Top 100 prospect. The five tool Gutierrez is a strong part of the Tribe's future, but he may still be a year or two off. He did get valuable Major League experience, pinch running in 7 games, and also picking up his first hit in The Show.

Jeff Liefer: A "what the heck" acquisition in the offseason for the AAA team, Liefer also saw 56 at bats with the parent club. His contract is up after this season; I doubt that he did enough in 2005 to warrant a re-signing.

Ryan Ludwick: When Juan Gonzalez became healthy, Grady Sizemore was playing too well to be sent down. So, Ryan Ludwick became expendable. He took the promotion with grace, but struggled in AAA. Former Indians GM John Hart seemed to have an affinity for mediocre pitchers when a great pitcher was needed; current GM Mark Shapiro seems to have an affinity for mediocre right-handed right fielders with potential for power.

Grady Sizemore: The women of Cleveland crush him; the men of Cleveland man-crush him. After a great spring, Sizemore didn't even break camp with the team. However, after a few months in Buffalo, he was called to The Show. Cleveland started the season struggling to find a leadoff hitter. Once Sizemore moved to that spot, and Crisp to the two hole, the lineup congealed. The very talented Sizemore would have run away with the Rookie of the Year had he qualified (he was just over the limit of 50 days on the Major League roster coming into this year). Sizemore finished the year with a .289 average, 22 homers, 111 runs, and countless jaw-dropping catches from center field. It's been said many times, but it bears repeating: Grady Sizemore knows only one speed: all out, and a blue-collar town can truly appreciate that. Sizemore would be the cornerstone of any franchise on the rise.

Later this week, look forward (possibly) to a guest column or two, and a look at ND players currently in the NFL. Until then, be sure to check out ND blog Bare Down, especially the two looks at potential record breaking performances by Irish players this season.

ND 49, Purdue 28

Quarterback: Coming into the 2003 season, Terry Hanratty had his name littered throughout the Notre Dame's passing records. I don't know if Brady Quinn has anything personal against Hanratty, but the current ND quarterback sure is doing his best to remove the former Irish star from the record books. Before Quinn, Hanratty's 366 yards vs. Purdue in 1967 stood second all time. Now, Quinn has passed the 400 yard mark three times. His latest effort, 440 yards to go with 3 TDs and 1 INT, is the most passing yards by an Irish QB in a win. On top of that, Quinn completed an impressive 80.6% of his passes. The effort earned him Sporting News National Player of the Week honors.
David Wolke, who entered a third of the way into the last quarter, completed his first career pass to receiver Rob Woods.

Running Back: Darius Walker was as close to an off day as he's been all season. On 23 carries, Walker was still able to pound out 80 yards and one touchdown. Meanwhile, Travis Thomas is turning the backup running back role into the easiest job in all of college football: show up for one drive, score a TD, and go sit back down. After Thomas, Jeff Jenkins added 30 yards on 6 carries.

Fullback: Rason Powers-Neal rushed for a tough 10 yards on 8 carries. But, he did hit the paydirt of the endzone twice, including once on fourth and goal from the one.

Receiver:

Courtesy AP/Fort Wayne Journal Gazette
Maurice Stovall had another big day as he grows into the receiver he was hyped to be. Stovall did have one key drop, but he ended with 8 catches for 134. Of course, guess who had an even bigger game. That's right, it was Jeff "The Shark" Samardzija, whose catch above made an (almost) entirely sober me fall off my bar stool in amazement. Last week, former ND coordinator Kent Baer said, effectively, "They said we couldn't recruit, but Notre Dame has some pretty good players over there." Yes, they do. But, look at Samardzija's case. During his freshman year, Samardzija only played in garbage time, but during that time he started to develop into a go-to receiver for Brady Quinn. So, come his sophomore year, he barely played at all. Now, under Charlie Weis, Samardzija is thriving. Anyone want to give me advice on how to dress as "The Shark" for Halloween?
Matt Shelton quitely added 7 catches for 68 yards. Shelton is being used primarily on quick slants, on the hope he will one day break one for a big gain. As mentioned above, Rob Woods caught a pass from David Wolke. The senior walk-on appeared in eight games on special teams last year, but this reception was the first of his career.

Tight End: It was a quiet day for the tight end position. But, once again, you have to go with what works. Stovall and Samardzija were open downfield all day, so there was little need to dump off to Anthony Fasano or John Carlson. As it is, Fasano ended with 2 catches for 30 yards, and Carlson with 1 for 22 yards.

O-Line: If Notre Dame handed out pride stickers, John Sullivan, Dan Stevenson, and Mark LeVoir would each have one coming their way for the fourth down play from Purdue's one yard line. On that play, the right side of the line got a fantastic push, and RPN simply slid down the line into the end zone. Or, perhaps you can give the entire line pride stickers on a day when the offense ended up with 621 total yards and no sacks.
Or, you can say "screw the pride stickers," and stay with the philosophy of team effort.

D-Line: It was another quite day for the defensive line. No one on either side had a sack, and in fact cornerback Leo Ferrine was the only Irish player to make a stop in the backfield. On the line, Victor Abiamiri and Trevor Laws each had two tackles.

Linebacker: By normal standards, this was a quiet day for the Irish linebackers as well. Corey Mays and Brandon Hoyte tied for third on the team with 5 tackles a piece. Hoyte did force a key fumble on the goal line, simply by having his helmet in the right place at the right time. The Purdue running back reached back over his head to get the ball over the goal line, and the collision with Hoyte's dome jarred the ball loose. Also, Hoyte added a pass breakup, another sign that he has developed into a complete player.

Safety: Pop quiz: which safety turned in the best performance in this game? No peeking! If you answered David Bruton, you either cheated, or you live down the hall from him. Bruton had 5 tackles and a pass breakup. Tom Zbikowski added 4 tackles, and Chinedum Ndukwe 2.

Cornerback:

Courtesy AP/und.com
For a man who's been on his share of posters, Mike Richardson finally got to be the posterizer instead of the posterized. A pessimist could say that Richardson was simply channeling Clifford Jefferson from the Bob Davie "Beat Purdue Bowl" from three years ago. An optimist would say that Richardson's team-leading 9 tackles, two pass breakups, goal line fumble recovery, and the interception pictured above are a sign of Richardson's improvement as a cornerback. (I'll leave any comments on Richardson's eyes being closed to the reader.) Ambrose Wooden once again ended near the top of list with 7 tackles; I've yet to determine whether or not that's a good thing. In his first career start, nickelback Leo Ferrine added four tackles, including one for a loss.

Other defensive players: As a lifelong bench player in little league, I could always appreciate getting my name in the newspaper. For that reason, here's a list of the many backup players who had at least one tackle in this game (besides those listed above): Terrail Lambert (2), Chase Anastasio (2), Jake Carney, Casey Cullen, Justin Hoskins, Marcus Freeman, Pat Kuntz, Paul Duncan, Steve Quinn, LaBrose Hedgemon, James Bonelli, and Nick Borseti.

Kicker: DJ Fitzpatrick didn't attempt a field goal in this game, but he was 7 for 7 on extra points.

Punter: Once again, it wasn't a very busy day for Fitzpatrick and the punt team. DJ had two punts, one for 32 yards and one for 41.

Kick Returner: After a 31 yard run back against Washington, David Grimes was given the primary return role. In his debut, Grimes had returns of 22 and 40 yards.

Punt Returner: Tom Zbikowski's lone return went for 0 yards.

Special Teams: As usual, ND's punt coverage team was solid. On Fitzpatrick's two punts, Purdue returner Lance Melvin had returns of 13 and 5 yards. On kickoffs, Purdue gained 126 yards on 5 returns. The long was a return of 67 yards by playmaker Dorien Bryant.