Monday, May 17, 2004

The Weekend in Review

Good Old Fashion Ramblings Edition

So I haven't been watching the NBA playoffs because of baseball (remember, I parted ways with the NBA and only recently am coming back). But, after Brian Scalabrine's game 5 performance... I believe the phrase is "I love this game!"

Add the Scalabrine performance to the sheer entertainment that is a Sacramento Kings game. I'm pulling for the T'Wolves in this series, but I can't help but liking the UCR-quality of Sacramento. I mean, the stuff Doug Christie does - you just have to watch him to really enjoy it. I definitely need tickets when the Kings come to Gund Arena next year. Add to that:
Brad Miller's scrappy play
the fact that, if my dad hadn't slept through the whole game, I probably would have had to tell him several times that the only way to tell Christie and Mike Bibby apart is the fact Bibby wears a headband
You can't make this up.

Now, in the imaginary universe where the Simpsons exist as real people, is Homer the ultimate That Guy? Now, if I was driving around Lorain, and Homer's new song about Flanders, I's probably blurt out, "Hey, isn't that That Guy who was an astronaut?" (Of course, when I saw him on TV as an astronaut, I'd probably also say, "Hey, isn't that That Guy from the B Sharps?"

Fomer ND player news: Gary Godsey was denied a sixth year of eligibility, mainly because his redshirt freshman year was not for medical reasons. Godsey says he will hire an agent and pursue his NFL options. Elsewhere, Nick Setta (Ellen loves him) signed a deal with the New Orleans Saints. Setta was in the middle of a perfect minicamp with his hometown Bears, but they just didn't have any room for him. Setta will compete with Lou Holtz Era legend John Carney for a spot on the team, although I once again wouldn't rule out a kickoff specialst's job.

You may have read the Sports Guy's mailbag last week, in which a reader pointed out the eerie resemblance between Diana Taurasi's voice and that of the Karate Kid. Well, it just so happened that the Karate Kid was on TV that night, and, Good Lord, they even look alike!

While we're on the subject of Taurasi being ugly, maybe you've seen the new WNBA commercials. In Taurasi's first WNBA game, she'll be returning to Connecticut to face former Lady Gopher Lindsay Whalen (now, imagine the rioting in Connecticut if Whalen's Gophers had beaten the Huskies in last year's big dance). So, for the commercial, they absolutely slather Taurasi in makeup in a weak attempt to make her not break the cameras. Then, they distort a picture of Whalen on draft day with her hair down - not the best look for her. Stupid ESPN....

You may have noticed that the last two paragraphs centered around women's basketball. Now, I'm not an official sportswriter, but apparently there's a rule that you can't be indifferent when it comes to women's basketball. You either have to hate it, like me or SI's Steve Rushin (aka Mr. Rebecca Lobo), or hate it like the Sports Guy or the guy from SportsPickle. Hey, if you don't like it, you could always just not write about it.

Now, a few places have recently published their lists of "50 Worst Songs Ever." The only problem? All of the songs were hits at one point! Now, did they ever think that maybe the non-hits never became popular for a reason? (By the way, "We Built This City" is a great song. Shut up.)

One of the songs on VH1's 50 worst was "We Didn't Start the Fire." Are you kidding me? This brings up another pet peeve - every time someone talks in a song, everyone thinks that they're "rapping." Billy Joel wasn't rapping in "We Didn't Start the Fire!" The old school jazz musicians weren't rapping when they gave a spoken introduction to their songs! Stop being tools!

Here's looking at you:

It's Cronk's best man Scott Howard, and the Braves' double trouble (as in 4 in one game) Adam LaRoche. (No, this was not just a cheap excuse to put up pictures of piccolos. Or to type in that tantalyzingly alluring alliteration.)

Now, I'm a big baseball guy and all, but I could never figure this one out. What's the official league that "Official League" baseballs are used in?

I read a sneak preview about the new Grand Theft Auto, titled GTA: San Andreas. Some highlights:
It's set in an immitation of three cities: Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Las Vegas. Each city is said to be the size of the entire Vice City map, and there's interesting characters awaiting you as you drive through the countryside to get to each city.
It's setting revolves around early '90s LA gangs, with appropriate music. That can only mean old school Snoop Dogg.
New vehicles will include ones "smaller than a motorbike" (a bicycle you pedal with the buttons) and "bigger than the prop plane."
If you eat junk food and don't exercise, you get fat. Then, all of the characters in the story call you a "fat bastard," until you hit the gym and start exercising. There's also a fully functional casino in Vegas. In the words of mini-Kanka, "sa-weet!"

Finally, I realize I've never done a mailbag. So, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to send them to