The Weekend in Review

The last ramblings Cronk will enjoy as a free man

• Ah, so the Sports Guy is starting to watch VH1. Unfortunately, I watch waaay too much VH1. Sad really. They do far too many countdowns, and I don't even pay attention to those. But, they do have a show called "Best Week Ever." It's an interesting little show where D-list celebrities (people who have the word "Comedian" and/or "Actor" listed under their name, but you've never seen them before in your life) make fun of the stuff that A-list stars have done over the past week. Surprisingly good. A major plus is that now, L'il John has joined the cast of commentators. One week, the show was discussing a school board's decision to add Jewel's book of poetry to their summer reading list. So, L'il John read a short Jewel poem as only he can. Then, he commented, "that's not a poem, that's a run on sentence! Yea-uh!"


• Since Sports Guy watches "The Real World" religiously, and since my buddy Matt admitted to watching it occassionally, I decided to sit down a watch a few episodes. Good Lord, that show is as addicting as crack. It helps, of course, that there's always hot girls on it. Thanks to a VH1 special on reality shows, I picked up this little tidbit of information, which makes the viewing experience all the more entertaining: Reality shows don't take normal people - they only cast people who are blatant stereotypes. Take, for instance, that this year's "Real World" cast had the New York meathead, the trophy wife, the psycho hose beast, the punk girl. Entertaining. As for the Sports Guy's comments: Yes, the Asian girl was insanely hot. It's funny that the punk girl had to leave the show after she realized she didn't fit in with the other stereotypical braindead MTV types. I don't think Jaquese was gay, he was too laid back and smart for those idiots. Y'know what I'm saying?


• I'm also glad the SG agrees on the Moneyball approach to offense. Hey, you can get as many guys on base as you want, but if they can't score, you're not getting anywhere. Look who won the championship last year - the Marlins. They know how to steal bases, hit and run, and lay down a bunt. Oh, they also know how to play defense. Statheads say bunts are a wasted out, but last I checked, you still win by having more runs, not by having a higher OPS. Hello, you play to win the game!


• While we're on the subject of statheads, take a look at the Transaction Wire site I link to. There's nothing like watching a bunch of guys who played the bench in little league trying to belittle Major Leaguers for hitting .260 but having a low VORP (or whatever the crap they make fun of people for).


• What would it be like if all of us KankaManiacs were SportsCenter anchors, or play-by-play/color commentators? Well, we'd be something like John Kruk. You just have to watch Baseball Tonight or read his Page 2 columns, and enjoy the fact he's not taking things too seriously. "The Practice?!"


• Best home run call of the moment, made by a guy who does ESPNews and the weekend SportsCenters: "Barry Bonds steps up to the plate. He's got 99 problems, but that pitch ain't one!"


• In our cable package, ESPN 1 and 2, Fox Sports, TBS, and WGN are all right next to each other. So, during baseball season, my remote's Up and Down buttons get a great workout. The other day, Kaz Tadano was pitching for the Indians (and pitching very well - 19 K's in his last 2 games). I flipped to TBS, and I saw Kevin Millar sporting the Mike Piazza look - bleach blond hair and a fu man chu. Then, I hit the Up button one more time, and WGN was showing what appeared to be an actual gay porno. You can't make this up - but why would you want to?


• I have to admit, the Shea Stadium organist is pretty good. Who else can play "Blister in the Sun," or turn "Mortal Combat" into Charge? Best performance I've heard since the Wrigley organist played Pink at one of my visits to the ballpark.


• A few weeks ago, I commented on Carson Daly's new trend of wearing a sweatband elbow-level with a button-down shirt. Well, while we're starting baseball related trends, I've got a good one. I'm going to start wearing batting gloves in my back pocket, no matter what I'm wearing. The only problem is that this may become expensive as gloves become lost/stolen/dropped.

ND Basketball All-Time Hair Team

Monty Williams, F - well, it was in style at the time
Orlando Woolridge, C - rockin' the part
Dave Batton, C - my hair looks like that when it gets long
Leo Klier, F
Kelly Tripucka, F - I think my mom had that hairdo in the late '70s, too.

ND Basketball All-Time Name Team

Damian Sweet, G - or, as mini-Kanka would say, "Damian Sa-weet!"

Noble Kizer, G - nothing I like more than a noble kaiser

Ed "Moose" Krause, C

Harold "Booty" Swanagan, F

Ken Barlow, F - ok, not really a great name, but if you were Marcus, wouldn't you tell everyone that that was your dad?

View the nominees here

KankaMatic is more or less up to date, but I still have some work to do. I'll also try to put a Transaction Wire up Wednesday night. See everyone this weekend.