Transaction Wire

• LeBron James leaves the Cavs to join the Billings Rims of the new All-American Professional Basketball League. "ESPN kept saying that I was eventually going to leave Cleveland for the big city, and they were right." In this new league, LeBron will face former teammate Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje, who plays for the AAPBL's Wyoming franchise.


• Notre Dame names Bob Huggins head men's basketball coach. Basketball factory! Basketball factory!


• Jeff Samardzija declares for the NBA draft. He's just that awesome an athlete.


• Mets trade Jorge Julio to the Indians for Danny Graves. Nobody notices except for Julio Lugo, who thinks the Devil Rays have traded him to Gary, IN's CBA team in exchange for David Graves.


• Bill Clinton named Paul Tagliabue's successor as NFL commissioner. It's about time someone took one of Chad Johnson's suggestions.


• Dave and Ellen plan to announce their wedding date during next year's Army All-American Game. Stay tuned.