Editor's Note: Catching up, again. Also, if you've sent me a link request within the last 4-5 months, please resend it. I've done a terrible job of housekeeping this summer.
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
More bad news for Michael Vick. Nike has decided to delay the release of his new $100 shoes because of the recent allegations of whipping, beating and torture. Of the Chinese workers who make the shoes.
Elsewhere in the NFL, a state appeals court ruled that the 49ers are allowed to pat down fans before they enter the stadium. There's no shortage of men in the Bay area applying for the job. They should pat someone down - they've been allowing opposing teams to go untouched since the 1990s.
In baseball, the Braves signed 48-year-old Julio Franco. At least he thinks that's what they said; they weren't speaking very loudly.
Two players on the Pittsburgh Pirates admitted that they have Attention Deficit Disorder. It's a special version of the affliction that only lasts for nine innings.
LeBron James has been invited to host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live in September. And we thought he had a bad supporting cast in Cleveland.
Knicks guard Stephon Marbury has expressed interest in playing in Italy. Sorry, Knicks fans have expressed interest in Stephon Marbury playing in Italy.
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is expected to recommend that the league expand by two teams. Chicago is thrilled, as they haven't had a professional team for decades. Maybe the NHL might expand to new territory - like Canada.
And Johannesburg cyclist Robert Hunter won the 11th stage of the Tour de France with a sizzling time of 3 hours, 47 minutes and 50 seconds. It's the fastest a white South African has moved since the end of Apartheid.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
The Pacers Jermaine O'Neal requested a trade to the Lakers. Kobe Bryant is thrilled, since he can't win without an O'Neal.
It was week of milestones as A-Rod hit his 500th home run, Tom Glavine won his 300th game, and Barry Bonds hit his 755th reporter. When Bonds hit his 755th home run, some in the stadium cheered while others booed. And that was just the Giants dugout.
Yao Ming married his 6 foot 2 girlfriend. Tallest canopy ever. The couple is looking forward to having many freakishly long babies.
The Cleveland Browns gave a $21 million contract to 22nd pick Brady Quinn. Wow - that's a million dollars for every player another team thought was better.
In Kentucky, new Knicks center Randolph Morris was arrested for reckless driving. Morris explained that's just how the Knicks play. We're surprised that more Knicks haven't been charged with reckless driving, shooting, and trading.
And the movie "Underdog" is flopping at the box office, despite a great performance from villain Michael Vick. In related news, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference has decided not to present an award to Vick. Not because of all the legal troubles, but because he plays for the Falcons.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
This week, a key defendant in the Michael Vick case asked for a plea bargain. By barking.
David Beckham has released a new cologne named "Intimately Beckham." Sadly, the fragrance is only effective in Europe.
Update on Yao Ming's wedding - it could be his only chance to get a ring during his career.
Cal Ripken Jr. has been appointed a Special Sports Envoy by Condoleezza Rice. It's the first time the government has hired anyone who will show up to work every day. Ripken has already spent more days in Washington than President Bush.
Magic Johnson will hold a fundraiser to support Hillary Clinton's presidential bid. That's perfect, since most political pundits agree that it will take some magic to get her elected.
The Miami Heat signed Penny Hardaway. The deal has been applauded by the year 1995. Penny arrive in Miami shortly, in tiger print pants while doing the Macarena.
Hank Aaron told reporters that he was asleep at his home when Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run. Apparently that's what happens when you have a clear conscience.
And the bad news is that a Los Angeles fan was arrested for throwing a water bottle at the A's Mike Piazza. The good news is that next week he'll be pitching for the Dodgers.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
