An Exciting Day for Baseball Fans

What a day, especially if you're a prospect nerd. On the same day the Indians held their first intrasquad game, the final World Baseball Classic rosters were announced, AND Baseball America released their top 100 prospects for 2009.

The Indians were represented well on both lists. The WBC will feature

• Grady Sizemore and Mark DeRosa on Team USA
• Shin-Soo Choo playing for Korea
• Rafael Perez pitching for the Dominican Republic
• prospects Damaso and Paolo Espino on the Panamanian team
• Chen Lee and Sung-Wei Tseng wearing the uniforms of Chinese Taipei
• and up-and-comer Nick Weglarz once again representing Team Canada

The US is only carrying four true outfielders, so I wouldn't be surprised if DeRosa saw some time in the outfield as well.

On Baseball America's list, Carlos Santana and Matt LaPorta checked in consecutively at 26th and 27th. The aforementioned Nick Weglarz is 58th. And Adam Miller was 82nd. BA expects LaPorta and Miller to make their MLB debuts this year, with Santana and Weglarz hitting The Show in 2010.

MLB Previews #1National League West

Arizona Diamondbacks

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Stephen Drew SS
Chris Young CF
Conor Jackson LF
Chad Tracy 1B
Mark Reynolds 3B
Chris Snyder C
Justin Upton RF
Felipe Lopez 2B

Rotation
Brandon Webb
Dan Haren
Doug Davis
Jon Garland
Max Scherzer
Yusmeiro Petit
Billy Buckner

I'm trying something slightly different this year, ordering teams by their projected PECOTA finish rather than their actual finish in the previous season. PECOTA has Arizona finishing with the second-best record in the National League. Orlando Hudson and Adam Dunn are gone, but the continued development of the Phoenix youngsters and a solid lineup from top to bottom will lead this team.

The bench features pinch hitter extraordinaire Tony Clark and versatile infielder Augie Ojeda. Eric Byrnes begins the year as Arizona's fourth outfielder, and will be trying to work his way back into the starting lineup. Between Justin Upton and Chris Young's youth, and Conor Jackson's inexperience in the outfield, I'm sure Byrnes will see his fair share of playing time.

It seems like every playoff team needs two aces, and Arizona has them in Brandon Webb and Dan Haren. Doug Davis is a bit underrated and Jon Garland a bit overrated, but both are good complements to the Big Two. The fifth spot is also in good hands, no matter if it goes to Petit, super-prospect Scherzer, or the younger Buckner.

Chad Qualls begins the season as Arizona's closer. If he falters, Jon Rauch and Tom Gordon both have closer experience. Gordon and Scott Schoeneweis bring veteran experience to the bullpen to contrast the young batting order and pitching rotation.

Los Angeles Dodgers

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Rafael Furcal SS
Matt Kemp CF
Russell Martin C
James Loney 1B
Casey Blake 3B
Andre Ethier RF
Orlando Hudson 2B
Juan PierreLF

Rotation
Chad Billingsley
Hiroki Kuroda
Randy Wolf
Clayton Kershaw
Jason Schmidt
Eric Stults
Hong-Chih Kuo

The Dodgers lost two big power bats in Jeff Kent and Manny Ramirez, but their lineup is still good enough to be competitive in this division. In the past few years, Orlando Hudson has been putting up the offense to match his brilliant defense. Hudson and Rafael Furcal combine for what is easily the best all-around middle infield combo in this division. Rising stars Matt Kemp, Russell Martin, James Loney, and Andre Ethier help fill out a lineup that has very few holes.

The Dodgers have good depth in the infield. Brad Ausmus was brought in for his reputation for calling games, and will no doubt mentor Martin. Mark Loretta is still a quality ballplayer, and can play anywhere on the infield. Blake DeWitt proved his worth at the end of last season by winning and keeping the starting second base job. This year he'll be backing up Orlando Hudson and Casey Blake at second and third, respectively. This offense's problem is with its outfield depth. Juan Pierre may be a great person, but he's questionable as a starter on a contending team. Matt Kemp is a great young talent, but his future lies in one of the corner outfield spots. But there aren't many other options, outside of Jason Repko and Delwyn Young

Randy Wolf joins a rotation anchored by phenomenal young talent in Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw. If Jason Schmidt returns anywhere near to the performances he had as a Giant, the Dodgers starters will be in great shape.

As has become the norm in the past few years, Los Angeles has put together a very good and very deep bullpen. Jonathan Broxton is the closer, a job he won after the injury to Takashi Saito last year. He'll be supported by Guillermo Mota, Yhency Brazoban, and Claudio Vargas. Jeff Weaver finds himself in Dodgers camp this spring, and will try to break camp as a swingman reliever.

San Francisco Giants

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Fred Lewis LF
Edgar Renteria SS
Randy Winn RF
Bengie Molina C
Aaron Rowand CF
Pablo Sandoval 3B
Travis Ishikawa 1B
Kevin Frandsen 2B

Rotation
Tim Lincecum
Matt Cain
Randy Johnson
Barry Zito
Jonathan Sanchez
Noah Lowry
Pat Misch

The much-needed revitalization of San Francisco's offense starts at the top with Fred Lewis. Lewis is still rough around the edges, but you can't complain about a .351 on base percentage in the left fielder's first full season in the bigs. After Lewis is a mixture of the old and the new. Aaron Rowand is overrated, but Randy Wynn is underrated. Edgar Renteria has always underperformed in the American League, but found success in the Senior Circuit. Bengie Molina may not be a cleanup hitter, but he's still a solid batter from the catcher position. Converted catcher Pablo Sandoval gets a try a third base, which I'm sure he agreed to readily, since it's only a matter of time before Buster Posey is behind the plate in brown and orange.

The Giants bench isn't deep, but it does feature a few key veterans. Juan Uribe is there if Sandoval falters at third, and Rich Aurilia is Travis Ishikawa's safety net at first. Meanwhile, Dave Roberts will serve as a backup outfielder.

For the past few seasons, the Giants starting rotation has been head and shoulders above its starting lineup. While the batters are starting to catch up, the hurlers are still the bright spot for this team. The Freak Tim Lincecum, Noah Lowry, and Matt Cain (in what should be a bounceback year) will get veteran leadership - and very good pitching - from Randy Johnson. If the end of 2008 is any indication, Barry Zito will still have a few setbacks, but he's starting to return to the level we saw him at with the A's.

Most casual baseball fans probably haven't heard of Brian Wilson, much less knew that he saved 41 games for the Giants in 2008. Wilson is back as the San Francisco closer, aided by Bob Howry and Jeremy Affeldt. Affeldt has turned himself into a reliable bullpen option, and Howry will likely prove that his rough 2008 was an abhoration.

Colorado Rockies

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Clint Barmes 2B
Troy Tulowitzki SS
Todd Helton 1B
Garrett Atkins 3B
Bradley Hawpe RF
Chris Iannetta C
Ryan Spilborghs CF
Seth Smith LF

Rotation
Aaron Cook
Ubaldo Jimenez
Jason Marquis
Jorge De La Rosa
Greg Smith
Jason Hirsch
Franklin Morales
Greg Reynolds

The Rockies have essentially rebooted their outfield, replacing Wily Taveras and Matt Holliday with Ryan Spilborghs and Seth Smith. Without Holliday, the Rockies will need a return to form from Troy Tulowitzki, Todd Helton, Garrett Atkins, and Brad Hawpe if they want to have any hope for competing in this division.

If Spilborgs or Smith falter, the Rockies do have good outfield depth in Carlos Gonzalez (acquired in the Holliday trade), Cubs castoff Matt Murton, and prospect Dexter Folwer. Of course, questions still remain whether Gonzalez or Folwer are ready for the Show. Ian Stewart adds depth on the infield, and Yorvit Torreabla is a capable backup at catcher.

Colorado's rotation took a huge blow with the news that Jeff Francis will miss all of 2009. The addition of Jason Marquis and the return of Aaron Cook will help, but it may not be enough for a pitching rotation that was already thin to begin with.

When he's on, Huston Street is one of the best closers in the game. But Street struggled in 2008, and now he's moving to the thin air of Colorado, which should raise some concerns about his performance. If Street falters, Manny Corpas will likely return to the role he once held for the Rockies. Street and Corpas will be aided by reliable rubber-armed veterans Alan Embree and Jason Grilli and up-and-coming reliever Taylor Buchholz.

San Diego Padres

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
David Eckstein 2B
Jody Gerut CF
Brian Giles RF
Adrian Gonzalez 1B
Kevin Kouzmanoff 3B
Chase Headley LF
Nate Hundley C
Luis Rodriguez SS

Rotation
Jake Peavy
Chris Young
Cha Seung Baek
Kevin Correia
Josh Geer
Wade LeBlanc
Chad Reineke

It was a fall I'm sure the Padres didn't see coming. Now, they must rebuild. Injury-plagued Jody Gerut was a pleasant surprise for San Diego in 2008, and he'll return as the club's starting center fielder in 2009. The middle of the lineup is solid, if not spectacular, with Giles, Gonzalez, and Kouzmanoff. But it doesn't look like that will be enough this year.

Three familiar names highlight the San Diego bench. Cliff Floyd joins the club as a pinch hitter and occasional outfielder. Scott Hairson will back up all three outfield spots. And ageless defensive wizard Henry Blanco joins the club as a backup catcher.

Jake Peavy is an ace, and for the time being, still a Padre. When healthy, Chris Young isn't that far behind Peavy in terms of performance. But after those two, there are questions.

There are questions in the bullpen as well. Heath Bell takes over at closer after Trevor Hoffman's long run at that position. Bell will be aided by Cla Meredith.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Pittsburgh Steelers barely beat the Arizona Cardinals, after collapsing like they were Pittsburgh's job market. The city is now on top of the sports world. And to remain there, they're selling the Pirates.

David Wells has fired back at Joe Torre, claiming the manager unfairly criticized his ex-players in his new book. Wells was livid after the book was read to him.

The Worcester Tornadoes have offered Manny Ramirez a two-year contract worth $24,000. Agent Scott Boras has advised him to hold out for $26,000.

And Michael Phelps acknowledged that a photo of him smoking pot is authentic. The good news is that he smoked it a half second faster than the French.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Cardinals are feeling plenty of heat after coughing up a lead with 35 seconds to go in Super Bowl XLIII. Thankfully in Arizona, it's a dry heat.

A Japanese sumo wrestler has been arrested for marijuana possession. Which, in sumo, is a performance enhancer.

Former Heavyweight Champion Ingemar Johansson has passed away at the age of 76. His death is particularly saddening for Evander Holyfield, who was hoping to fight him sometime next month.

Michael Irvin is producing a new reality TV show in which he'll give one guy off the street a spot on the Dallas Cowboys. The show is tentatively titled, "Pacman Jones."

And Terrell Owens has agreed to star in a VH-1 reality show loosely based on the network's previous hit, "Scott Baio Is 45 & Single." Owens' show will be titled, "Terrell Owens is 35 and Unbearable."

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Suns managing partner Robert Sarver has said he still believes his team can win the NBA championship. He also believes the Cardinals can still win the Super Bowl.

Lakers center Andrew Bynum will be out for 8-12 weeks with a knee injury. Kobe Bryant is upset, as he was really enjoying not passing to him.

A new report shows that baseball commissioner Bud Selig made more money than all but three baseball players in 2007. Wow, that's half a million dollars for every bad decision.

President Obama is sending a women's badminton team to Iran this week. It's less expensive than soldiers, and more offensive to the Iranian government.

And former Welterweight champion Antonio Margarito faces possible suspension after plaster was allegedly found in his gloves. John Daly will testify in Margarito's defense, since he's also been competing plastered.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Arizona Cardinals plan to donate thousands of Super Bowl "championship" T-shirts to poor families in El Salvador. Which will be easy, since that's where the shirts are made.

Comcast accidentally aired a 30 second porn clip during its broadcast of the Super Bowl and has offered customers who saw it $10 as an apology. Because if there's one thing that can make it okay that your seven-year-old just saw pornography, it's ten bucks.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are a perfect 23-0 at home. It's believed to be the first time that the words "Cleveland" and "perfect" have ever been uttered in the same sentence.

Paris Hilton was recently spotted making out with Barry Zito at a Hollywood hotspot. For those of you keeping score at home, Hilton has now worked her way through the entire alphabet.

And officials for AC Milan said that lawyers for David Beckham are negotiating with the LA Galaxy. They set up a meeting of lawyers when someone challenged them to schedule something more boring than American soccer.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The participants in the NBA's first officially sanctioned H-O-R-S-E competition will instead be spelling out G-E-I-C-O. Players are happy the event is not sponsored by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance.

The Continental Basketball Association has ended its regular season two months early due to a lack of funding. And we'll end this story right now, due to lack of interest.

Animal Planet is producing a new 12-part series that will take viewers into the lives of jockeys. Even though it's 12 parts, it's still a mini series.

Kelly Clark of the United States is the latest winner of the World Cup halfpipe event. The winner of the full pipe event was Michael Phelps.

And Kellogg has announced it will not renew its sponsorship deal with Michael Phelps. Fortunately he should have no problem picking up a deal from Honey Bunches of Hemp.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Cleveland Cavaliers finally lost a home game. Somehow, the Cleveland Indians have already lost one, too.

Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson will appear on "Dancing With the Stars." Meanwhile, Chinese gymnasts will appear on "Dora the Explorer."

The New York Mets are claiming they won't be hurt in any way by Bernie Madoff's web of deceit. Unfortunately, the team can't say the same thing about their bullpen.

Rotund outfielder Andruw Jones has signed a one-year contract with the Rangers. It's official - everything is bigger in Texas.

And the Atlanta Braves offered 42-year-old Tom Glavine a one-year contract. The Braves aren't particularly excited about resigning Glavine. They just wanted to see a baseball contract written in English.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Alex Rodriguez apologized for his steroid use, and expects fans to forgive him, especially hes never used any in October. By owning up to his past indiscretions, Rodriguez has shown he's smarter than Barry Bonds. Then again, a single celled amoeba nursing a hangover is also smarter than Barry Bonds.

The Dallas Cowboys have officially cut Pacman Jones. And they did it on a giant mirror with a huge razor blade.

The New York Rangers have expressed interest in Sean Avery. In related news, the rest of the NHL has expressed interest in Sean Avery's sloppy seconds.

And Minnesota Timberwolves center Al Jefferson is done for the season with a torn ACL. The rest of the team is done for the season because they're the Timberwolves.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Congress has no plan to hold a hearing with Alex Rodriguez. Or for doing anything else, for that matter. Rodriguez is relieved, as most Congressmen are a bit too young for his tastes.

Members of a Marijuana advocacy group have written a strongly worded letter to Kellogg after the company cut ties with Michael Phelps. Kellogg was able to quiet the group by replying, "Dave's not here, man."

Kobe Bryant became the youngest player in NBA history to reach the 23,000-point plateau in a game against the Oklahoma City Thunder. The record is a bit tainted, since 22,000 of those points came against the Thunder.

And Brett Favre says he is retiring yet again. Special thanks to Michael Phelps, Alex Rodriguez, and Kobe Bryant for preventing this from being news.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Michael Jordan says he knows he made some bad decisions. Because he read the paper in the 1990s.

The Chicago Bulls are currently shopping Andres Nocioni, Tyrus Thomas, Ben Gordon, Joakim Noah and Larry Hughes. The only Bull that appears to be safe is the team's mascot.

In the first round of NASCAR drug tests, all the drivers passed, but some pit crew members failed. In their defense, they thought it was just flaxseed motor oil.

A former girlfriend is suing Roberto Alomar, saying that the one-time slugger knowingly exposed her to HIV. Mets fans were shocked, as they thought only his batting average had a degenerative disease.

And organizers are beginning a World Bikini Football League with teams in ten different cities. The Detroit Lions are already 0-4.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

Best Sports Writing and Brady's Bunch

Two new links in the sidebar:

Best Sports Writing brings together the best in book authors, mainstream reporters and columnists, and bloggers. And somehow I made the cut.

BradysBunch.net is the forum arm of Brady-Quinn.org. A perfect place for my target audience (ND fans and Cleveland fans) to talk about their dreamy poster boy.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Detroit Lions have signed head coach Jim Schwartz to a four-year deal, or 64 losses, whichever come first.

Pirates chairman Bob Nutting recently told reporters that an MLB salary cap would make Pittsburgh more competitive. Provided that salary cap is half a million dollars.

The Baltimore Orioles traded for Cubs prospect Felix Pie. The Orioles traded for Pie in an effort to land Prince Fielder.

New York is beginning to disassemble Shea Stadium. The stadium's structure has been weakened ever since the team imploded.

And the Yankees have announced they will wear a special patch on their uniforms commemorating the inaugural season at their new stadium. The design will feature an enormous dollar sign being flushed down a toilet.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Pittsburgh and Arizona will square off in Super Bowl LXIII. The only thing that's undecided is where most of America will be when they don't watch the game.

Free agent pitcher Paul Byrd has decided to sit out the first half of the 2009 season. Byrd wanted to spend time with his family, but apparently will be sick of them by July.

The New York Jets are expected to hire Ravens coordinator Rex Ryan as their head coach. And since this doesn't involve a murder he witnessed, Ray Lewis is available for comment.

Cubs chairman Crane Kenney has said the sale of the team should happen any day now. Then again, Cubs fans have also been saying the same thing about a World Series title for the last 101 years.

And Roger Clemens' former trainer Brian McNamee recently met with federal investigators in Washington for five hours. The session would have been much shorter, but they decided to do some ab work.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

NHL officials have put the Yankees' new stadium at the top of their wish list for the next Winter Classic. In addition to being brand new, league officials also like the fact the venue should be completely vacant by October 1st.

The home of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was ransacked last weekend before the NFC Championship Game. Of course  it was being guarded by the Eagles' defense.

Stephon Marbury says he has a firm offer from at least one club. Unfortunately for him, it's a high school team in Tupelo.

New York Knick Jerome James will miss the rest of the season with a ruptured right Achilles' tendon. James was injured falling off the bench.

And Alonzo Mourning may return to the Miami Heat if he can get his body back in shape. If not, he'll go to the Knicks.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Detroit Pistons have lost five of their last six games. Looks like the city's auto makers aren't the only ones struggling to put together a good quarter.

NBA owners have reversed a longtime ban on serving hard liquor during live games, in an effort to make the Clippers more watchable.

NASCAR mainstay Michael Waltrip is considering retirement. He knew it was time when he was doing 40 on the left side of the track.

And a pair of Arizona Cardinals fans have been arrested for torching Donovan McNabb's lawn. The torching had nothing to do with football, that's just considered lawn care in Arizona. What a bad day for the Cardinals  half of their fans got arrested.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Washington Wizards coach Ed Tapscott said Barack Obama has a standing invitation to stop by practice anytime he wants. And to play guard.

The Pittsburgh Steelers have announced they'll wear their white pants for Super Bowl XLIII. And because theyre in Florida, they also plan on hiking them up to their chests.

The Cleveland Browns have laid off 15 people in the past two days. Luckily they're all defensive players so no one should even notice.

The Brewers say they're close on a deal with Prince Fielder. Fielder was unavailable for comment, because there was still a buffet open somewhere.

And the City of Detroit has approved a $27 million plan to preserve Tiger Stadium. It's nice to hear that the Detroit Lions aren't the only useless relics the city is willing to support.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Longtime Utah owner Larry H. Miller has had his legs amputated six inches below the knee. And we thought the Jazz were looking shaky.

Jose Canseco and Danny Bonaduce fought to a draw in their highly-hyped three-round boxing match. The fight had no winner, but still managed to have two losers.

The soon-to-open NASCAR Hall of Fame will honor five inductees a year. Fans are thrilled - that's a new inductee every 6 months!

LeBron James dropped in 33 points against the Jazz. James scored so much, Utah made him an honorary Mormon.

And figure skater Ekaterina Rubleva accidentally exposed her nipple in front of thousands of fans during the European Figure Skating Championships in Helsinki. The mishap would have been even more embarrassing if any of the guys watching were straight.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The NBA could be headed towards a lockout in 2011. Luckily many of the players have a history of breaking and entering.

A Greek basketball team is looking to take on one of several NBA players including Stephon Marbury, Jamaal Tinsley, Jason Williams or Steve Francis. I'm sorry, did I say Greek basketball team? I meant Greek charity.

Sugar Shane Mosley regained the welterweight title over the weekend. He may be close to retiring, however, because after the fight, he called himself "Splenda" Shane Mosley.

And rumors say that the 49ers are angling to get Michael Vick once the QB comes out of prison. Mike Singletary has already been warned to keep his pants up. San Francisco - definitely a town where Vick won't have trouble finding a studded collar.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The New York Yankees have received an additional $259 million in public funding. The team is expected to use the money on half an outfielder.

Atlanta Hawks guard Acie Law has bet a friend $10,000 that the Dallas Cowboys will win next year's Super Bowl. Law will probably lose, but that's just because he's on the Hawks.

Bucks guard Michael Redd will miss the rest of the season with a torn ACL and MCL. In other words, Milwaukee is now SOL.

Veteran pitcher Brandon Lyon has agreed to a $4.25 million, one-year contract with the Detroit Tigers. Maybe a Detroit Lyon will finally win a game.

And Mark Gottfried has resigned as Alabama's basketball coach. In related news, Alabama's Jewish population has been cut in half.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

A recent poll encourages Shane Mosley to retire on top, after his destructive victory over Antonio Margarito. For non-boxing fans, "retire" is an industry term for "wait until I'm bored, and demand more money."

The Celtics will be without Brian Scalabrine indefinitely after he sustained his second concussion in three days. When reached for comment, Scalabrine said, "fire bad!"

Manny Ramirez remains unsigned. And ungroomed.

The Lingerie Bowl has been cancelled due to a conflict over the amount of nudity allowed in the event. On the positive side, football fans can still look forward to seeing the Arizona Cardinals thoroughly undressed.

And Ken Griffey, Jr. could return to play for the Mariners, saying he wants to be in familiar territory. Which we can only assume means last place, in an empty stadium.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Officials for the New York Mets said season ticket sales are doing well for the new ballpark. Especially popular are the new "first six innings" and "April through August" plans.

The Wisconsin Supreme Court has ruled that high school cheerleading is a contact sport. Although most of the contact is with a stripper pole 5 years later.

Aptly named former NBA player Corie Blount was recently busted with 11 pounds of marijuana. Or, as Ricky Williams calls it, a single serving.

Bobby Bowden has signed a one-year contract to coach a 34th season at Florida State. Bowden has been at the school so long he remembers when football players actually had to take their own exams.

And former NFL star Michael Strahan has been chosen to host the fourth season of Spike TV's "Pros vs. Joes." The show is not to be confused with "Pros vs. Hoes" which is a documentary about a Minnesota Vikings' boat cruise.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com