Weekend in Review

NCAA Football

Auburn/LSU: Quote from one of the TV announcers: "If Carnell Williams is 'Cadillac,' Ronnie Brown is the Escalade." An Escalade is a Cadillac, genius. What an ending to this one, too. LSU got an early TD but missed the extra point. Late in the fourth quarter, they lead 9-3 when Auburn drove for a touchdown. Is it all over for LSU? No! Auburn missed the extra point, too. But wait... it's not over yet. An LSU player had lined up five yards behind the line of scrimmage, then took a flying leap onto the lineman. That's a penalty. Auburn retries the extra point and makes it. Final score: Auburn 10, LSU 9.

Miami/LaTech: 48-0. Good, good. Everyone should be proud of themselves, especially the two ADs who arranged this one.

WVU/Maryland: This one was a fight to the finish. If West Virginia can get by Virginia Tech in a few weeks, they should have an undefeated season. Then, everyone at ESPN can praise them for putting together such a weak schedule.

Tennessee/Florida: Is the Ainge family talented or what? First, Danny leaves the Blue Jays to play point guard in the NBA. Now, newphew Erik is the Volunteer QB (how many times will we see Danny's buzzer beater over ND the week of the Tennessee game?). Proving once again that the extra point isn't a gimme, the Tennessee kicker missed a tying extra point late in the game. Unable to run out the clock, though, Florida had to give the ball back with enough time left for the Volunteer goat to turn into a hero with a 50-yard FG.

Michigan/San Diego State: The Wolverines win 24-21 a year after the Aztecs took tOSU to the wire. Wow, are the Big 10 teams playing their non-conference opponents close on purpose, just to make it look like they aren't scheduling crappy teams?

Texas Tech/TCU: Final score: Red Raiders 70, Horned Frogs 35. Cronk's Sister's University took an early lead, then they just kind of lost it. Tech had graduated their 500 YPG passer from a few years ago, but apparently they have replaced him with a 440 YPG passer. Not a bad offensive system.

UCLA/Washington: The UCLA back put up 322 yards on the Huskies. Taking notes, Mr. Diedrick?

The NFL

Cowboys/Browns: Ugh. The Browns offense looked like me in the early days of playing football video games. Too many runs that go nowhere, then long bombs into triple coverage. Jeff Garcia was 8-27. With the Cowboys 17-12, Vinny Testaverde gave the Browns many chances to take the lead, as Vinny threw 3 picks over the course of 5 straight snaps. But, the Browns kept finding a way to give the ball right back. Holding in the end zone put the Cowboys up 19-12 with just under a minute left. If Bill Bellichick were still coaching, I would have said the safety was on purpose - instead of trying to drive from the 4, an onside free kick recovery gave the Browns the ball at the 35. But I don't think Butch Davis was planning that. The last play of the game saw two subs come in - Keyshawn Johnson as the extreme free safety standing on the 5, and strongarmed rookie QB Luke McCown. McCown's Hail Mary went right to MeShawn, and I was just waiting for him to do something and tip it right to a Brown. But, he knocked it down like a champion as time expired.

Bears/Packers: Am I cursing the fact that the Bears looked overmatched at the beginning of the game, then just dominated on defense and on the ground? No. Am I cursing the fact that my top back got 1 yard this week, while Mike's late round pick got 152? Yep.

Ravens/Steelers: And the Ben Roethlisberger era has begun, thanks to an injury to Tommy Maddox. Favorite moment of the game: Deion makes a decent punt return, then rips off his helmet to do a stupid dance. Fifteen yard penalty! To quote the TV announcer, "This isn't the 1980s any more, Deion."

Giants/Redskins: Check the message board for a discussion of people Ellen loves.

Eagles/Vikings: Are Terrell Ownens and Randy Moss jerks or what? Normally, when you do a "who's better?" TV segment, you sit both guys down toghether, they joke around, and keep telling the interviewer that the other is much better. Not the case with Randy and TO. Owens stated that "no matter if we win or lose, I'm better than him." Great team spirit there, Terrell. Way to go. Randy, on the other hand, went on and on how he's so much better than Owens. I agree with Moss, but he could at least try to be humble. John Madden must be reading TMQ. After the Vikings ran an end around, he made a point of explaining that the play was in fact an end around, and not a revese, because the ball didn't change direction. But what was with the Michael Jackson complex the Eagles had? First, a linebacker dances after a sack, then Donovan McNabb moonwalks after a TD. I was waiting for Andy Reid to come out after halftime and tell Michelle Tafoya that her question was "ignorant - that's ignorant."

Cuts and Bruises

• Ravens cut Gerome Sapp to make room for a new running back. So what we're saying here is that Sapp should be the one getting punished because Jamal Lewis tried to get his friend coke? Well, Mr. Billick, what happens when Ray Lewis's safety friend Ed Reed gets convicted of a felony?


• After cutting Shane Walton earlier this year, the Colts sign Vontez Duff to the practice squad. To each their own.


• Indian Jody Gerut is out for the season after tearing his right ACL chasing a foul ball near the wall. The rehab will take 6-8 months, which Gerut is actually happy about. Why? Rehab for his left ACL took him 18 months.


• Browns rookie Kellen Winslow will be out 6-8 weeks with a broken leg. The injury occurred on the onside kick mentioned above. Wondering why everyone is coming after you, Kellen? Maybe it's because you come after them first, with words and actions. Despite the fact that his agents wanted his contract to be nearly all guaranteed money (why should he need to play well to get $40mil anyways?), Winslow could loose a bonus that states he needs to play 35% of the Browns' offensive snaps this year to get an extra $3.5mil. Hmmm, I wonder if the Postons will be breathing down Butch Davis's neck for playing time once Kellen comes back (which would be funny if it lead to another injury).


• Julius Jones has broken his collarbone, and will be out for 2 months. This is not a good start for Julius, who missed week 1 due to a preseason rib cage injury. No word on whether the injury happened before, during, or after (yes, he stayed in the game by his own choice) his one fumble against the Browns.


• Knicks sign Vin Baker. Good luck.
  

Miscellaneous Ramblings

• Back by popular demand - the Postons/Kellen Winslow negotiations cartoon.


• Congrats to ND women's soccer, #1 in the NCSAA coaches poll and the Soccer America poll. The #1 light has returned to Grace Hall, and the #1 flag to the Joyce center.


• Speaking of women in the rankings, Irish women's basketball are being ranked quite favorably in the preseason magazines: #10 by SLAM Magazine, and #14 by Liddy's College Basketball Annual and Athlon Sports. After a post-championship falloff, the "Lady Irish" finally appeared to get it together at the end of last year, and I'm expecting big things from them this winter.


• Can BC be bigger ND ripoffs? They're worse than the Saxes ripping off the Bones in the late 90's. Not only do the BC "SuperFan" t-shirts given out every year have an eagle posing just like the leprechaun, but this year's slogan is "Soaring to Glory." Hmm, "glory," where have I seen that word on a shirt before?


• Browns defensive end Kenard Lang wins the "Most Likely to Give the Queer Eye Guys a Heart Attack" award, especially when you consider his hair, beard, and unibrow are much bushier now than they are in the picture. Now, before you ask yourself, "wait, does Kanka watch Queer Eye?" first ask yourself, "does it look like Kanka watches Queer Eye?"


• The "Hu$tle" commercials (and there have been enough of them) feature Pete Rose saying, "I'm Number 14, baby!" Should Dave Chappelle's writers be pissed about this blatant ripoff of their Rick James line?


• Is it really necessary to put a large picture of Tony Siragusa's head on the screen every time he talks during a Fox game? Then again, it may not be physically possible to put up a small picture of his head.


• More reasons why I love NCAA 2005: 1) Did you realize the "SI" polls keep track of "also receiving votes" and "dropped out"? I didn't until just recently. 2) I was scrambling to the left with my QB, while my left slot receiver was running a slant from left to right (basically running along in front of me). Sensing trouble, the receiver comes to a hole in the zone, stops, and starts waving his hand above his head. Now that's attention to detail.


• Ichiro update: With 11 games to go, Ichiro needs 14 base knocks to tie George Sisler's 84-year old record for hits in a season. Ichiro had been in a bit of a slump lately, but he came back Tuesday night with a 5-for-5 night. The chase is on.


• In case you're wondering why Gameday was in East Lansing last weekend: the "official" reason is that they were planning on visiting LSU, but ESPN decided to move it due to hurricane activity.


• Jerry Rice ended his consecutive games with a catch streak at 274. For the record, that's 274 more games with a catch than anyone reading this has combined.


• How's this for a good guy: On a visit to ND by Darius Walker, the football team lost. However, the team still walked over to the students and raised their helmets, and the students still cheered. Fans that are behind you win or lose were one of the big reasons Walker chose ND.

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