Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Notre Dame Football 2006
Issue 6: Stanford

by Jon Byrer, KankaNation Chief Legal Analyst

You can't judge a book by its cover, and the same goes for the Stanford football team. Despite the fact that they haven't won a single game, and that they have managed to rank at or near the bottom nationally in defense, and, according to a confidential source close to the program, they wet themselves sometime in the third quarter of the UCLA game this weekend, this team cannot be underestimated. Notre Dame has only one date circled on its calendar--November 18--and the let-down is entirely possible.

Why, you might ask?

Walt Harris, the football mastermind who led Pittsburgh to the glory of an epic BCS ass-kicking at the hands of the Utah juggernaut before being fired and replaced by a man with a significantly larger mustache, has come up with a secret weapon that could decimate the Irish, who are still reeling from the image of Jonelle Smith inexplicably slapping himself at a press conference prior to conceding defeat to Illinois.

That secret weapon...


You heard me.

Thus concludes the official Stanford preview.