The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Tapes prove the Patriots stole offensive signs from the Miami Dolphins. We're still trying to figure out why.
HBO will follow the Cowboys again for its next season of the training-camp series Hard Knocks. They will also follow the Cincinnati Bengals during a remake of Oz. HBO will also follow the Cowboy cheerleaders for a series called "Hard Knockers."
KFC and the NBA have announced a new promotional partnership that will span 22 countries and territories. We're guessing one of them is Greece.
And a University of Florida football player was dismissed after using a dead woman's credit card. Authorities found out when he paid for a meal and the waiter felt... (wait for it)...stiffed.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Dwyane Wade's Sports Grill in Boca Raton has closed after just two months. We wouldn't be surprised if the Heat follow suit. The restaurant's days were numbered when they combined the phrase "all you can eat" with Star Jones.
Former 49ers quarterback Joe Montana is suing his first wife and a Texas auction house for selling love letters and memorabilia from his time at the University of Notre Dame. It's the biggest disgrace in Notre Dame history since last season.
Heisman winner Tim Tebow is currently spending time in an impoverished village in the Philippines helping to circumcise impoverished children. Which makes sense, since football is a game of inches.
And seven-time Tour de France winner and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong is calling on Congress to renew the nation's war on cancer. Congress will respond as soon as cancer produces oil.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
The NHL and Versus are thinking of introducing puck-tracking technology that would make it easier for viewers to follow the fast-moving puck. The only problem is that to keep track of the puck, viewers would have to be watching hockey at the time.
In the NHL, San Jose fired coach Ron Wilson, whose career has officially jumped the shark.
Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett, Bruce Bowen, Tim Duncan and Marcus Camby were selected to the NBA All-Defensive team on Monday. Dikembe Mutombo also received several votes based on how defensive he becomes whenever anyone questions his real age.
Qualifying and practice at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway were cancelled for the day due to rainfall. On the positive side, the rains left the crowd cleaner than they'd been in months.
And O.J. Mayo is accused of accepting thousands of dollars in cash and other gifts from an event promoter. Mayo will probably be punished by being drafted by Miami.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Former Patriots employee Matt Walsh met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for nearly three and a half hours on the Spygate scandal. Walsh's tapes of the meeting should be available shortly.
Seattle Seahawks linebacker Lofa Tatupu was arrested for investigation of drunken driving. He almost got away when police mistook his .158 blood-alcohol level for the Seattle SuperSonics winning percentage.
David Stern said he doesn't like all the promotional smoke and fire used during NBA games. Probably because it reminds him of the Miami Heat.
Goose Gossage criticized Joba Chamberlain's excessive celebratory style while on the mound. Not because it's unsportsmanlike, but because the Yankees haven't had anything worth celebrating in months.
And Annika Sorenstam announced she will retire. She reached retirement earlier than most because she got to start from the red tees.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
