Friday, June 27, 2008

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Editor's Note: Yeah, I know this is the second Sports Minute dump this week. But I wasn't going to post at all tonight until my softball games got rained out. So live with it.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Los Angeles Sparks forward Candace Parker became the second woman to dunk in a WNBA game in a win over the Indiana Fever. What a great moment for all three fans in attendance.

The NBA is asking disgraced referee Tim Donaghy to reimburse the league for the cost of his basketball shoes. Donaghy would just return the shoes, but he lost them in a poker game.

Charles Barkley is headed back to Las Vegas to play in a charity poker tournament a month after pledging not to gamble. It's not as bad as it sounds, though. Barkley will be donating all of his winnings to Hypocrites Anonymous.

Curt Schilling will undergo season-ending surgery next week to repair a tendon in his shoulder. Unfortunately for Major League Baseball, the surgery isn't expected to interfere with his blogging.

And C.C. Sabathia is reportedly on the Chicago Cubs' radar. But given his size, he's on everyone's radar.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Pacman Jones has informed the media that he no longer wants to be referred to by his nickname. Instead, he will answer to "Adam," "Mr. Jones," or "Prisoner No. 345279."

Radio host Don Imus is in trouble again after making controversial racial remarks about Pacman Jones. In Imus' defense, many of his favorite slaves are black.

Kobe Bryant will head the 12-man U.S. squad in the Olympics this year. Wow, that's a lot of Olympians to not pass to.

Shaquille O'Neal insinuated that Kobe Bryant couldn't win a championship without him in an impromptu internet rap. It's hard to say what's more disturbing, the fact that the two men are still feuding or that Shaq is rapping again.

And New Orleans Hornets guard Rasual Butler has been charged with flashing a loaded gun near a South Florida nightclub. Luckily no one was in danger due to Butler's complete inability to shoot.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

49-year-old former boxing champions Jeff Fenech and Azumah Nelson came out of retirement to fight a 3rd match. The fight was marred by both men repeatedly telling the crowd to keep all the noise down.

A horse has tested positive for twice the allowable level of Clenbuterol, a bronchodilator that helps burn fat and promote muscle growth. John Daly is looking into the story.

The Green Bay Packers are crying poor after clearing just $21 million last season. Things are so dire, they might begin eating those giant cheese heads.

The Atlanta Dream are off to an 0-13 start during their first year in the WNBA. Owners are worried that attendance might drop from five to three.

And Shaquille O'Neal will lose his special deputy's badge in Maricopa County because of language he used in a rap video that mocks former teammate Kobe Bryant. The rap was so bad that Shaquille also lost his license to ill.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The Toronto Raptors have agreed to trade T.J. Ford to the Indiana Pacers. With gas prices as high as they are, it's nice to know you can still unload a broken down old Ford.

PETA is upset at Wimbledon officials for using marksmen to shoot some pesky pigeons. Dave Winfield was upset they didn’t call him first.

John Daly and Kid Rock teamed up yesterday at the Buick Open pro-am, but not before locking up the trailer park.

Several teams around the NBA have expressed interest in Dallas Mavericks wingman Josh Howard. The All-Star forward could be dealt as early as 4:20.

And Fox broadcaster Terry Bradshaw said that he used steroids while with the Steelers. Which finally explains the mystery of his forehead.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit