The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Michelle Wie was disqualified from the State farm Classic after failing to sign her scorecard before leaving the scoring area. We don't fault her. If we played like that, we wouldn't admit it either.
Fidel Castro has blasted the Olympics for dropping baseball from the games beginning in 2012. The good news for Fidel is that the IOC has added competitive cigar smoking.
The Red Wings and Blackhawks will play on New Year's Day at Wrigley Field. With ice on the field, Cub fans may better understand why success keeps slipping away.
Congress may get involved in the NBA's Tim Donaghy scandal. Because Congress really looks down on lying and cheating.
And Seattle Mariners ace Erik Bedard is expected to miss 2-to-4 weeks with a sore shoulder. Bedard is thrilled, since he no longer has to watch the Seattle Mariners.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Baltimore has now lost on 15 consecutive Sundays. Just a few more to tie the record set by the Miami Dolphins.
Good news out of Miami, where the Dolphins finally managed to trade Jason Taylor to Washington for a dancer to be named later.
Oklahoma City's new NBA franchise will be called the Thunder. It's the perfect name for a team that will never be seen.
The Florida Marlins are neck and neck in the standings with the Phillies and the Mets. They should be in first place, but the standings are being kept by Dan Uggla.
And Ashton Kutcher wore a Red Sox hat while promoting his new game show. Babe Ruth can rest easy, as Boston finally has a new curse.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Randy Johnson is now 13-0 all time versus Chicago. The only thing more humiliating to the Cubs than Johnson is the post-season.
Ricky Williams is drawing rave reviews with the Miami Dolphins. In fact, the entire team seems to be high on him.
Tennis' governing body suspended two players for wagering on matches. The good news is NBA refs now have something to do in the off-season.
Jeremy Shockey was dealt to the Saints. The trade reminded him of the Super Bowl, because both involved Shockey watching from the sidelines.
And the U.S. Olympic basketball team is gearing up for their trip to Beijing. To get used to playing in a city that doesn’t speak English, Coach K plans on asking the Miami Heat how they did it.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Alex Rodriguez has signed on with the William Morris Agency. It should be nice to finally see his name in the news.
Tampa Bay Ray farmhand Matthew Walker has been suspended 50 games after testing positive for an amphetamine. It became obvious something was wrong when the powdery white substance on the mound turned out to be his teeth. The minor league baseball player took the drugs to help stay awake while watching minor league baseball.
Bill Parcells says he has no desire to return to coaching. That's a happy coincidence since no one is hiring him.
And a federal appeals court has thrown out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction. However, the network still might be sued for continually airing The New Adventures of Old Christine.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
NFL draft pick Caleb Campbell will not get a chance to play for the Detroit Lions because of a change in military policy. The US Army felt Campbell would be safer in Iraq than in a war zone like Detroit.
Alyssa Milano says she's done dating baseball players. Because she ran out of them.
Most baseball fans are against Congress and the government getting involved in the league's steroid problems. But we're all okay having the Feds bail out the National League West.
Investigations are still underway about whether Brett Favre used a Packers-issued cell phone to contact the Vikings. Chances are he didn't, because Minnesota is a whole state away, and the Packers use Sprint.
And Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back Warrick Dunn is working on his first book. Some day, he might read a second one, too.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
The New York Yankees are considering adding Barry Bonds for their stretch drive. Because he looks so natural in black and white stripes. Hopefully, the pinstripes will have a slimming effect – on his head.
50-year-old Hall of Famer Nancy Lieberman actually recorded two assists for the Detroit Shock in a loss to the Houston Comets. We're confused. We thought the WNBA's slogan was "Expect Great," not "Expect Great Grandmothers."
The Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders are the first girls to produce their annual calendar on eco-friendly, recycled paper. That should go a long way in offsetting the 37 cans of hairspray they use before each home game.
And a fan was injured after plunging 25 feet from the handrails of an escalator at Shea Stadium during a game between Washington and New York. Unlike the Nationals, the man is expected to survive.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
The Boston Red Sox may deal Manny Ramirez. Management says that he's so high maintenance, Tom Brady might date him.
The Dallas Cowboys are bracing themselves for Pacman. Meanwhile, the Cincinnati Bengals are bracing themselves for Grand Theft Auto.
A group of Eagles fans paid tribute to Brett Favre by burning the Packers' legend in effigy. The effigy has since contacted the Vikings about a comeback.
Diminutive Hall of Fame jockey Kent Desormeaux rode his 5,000th winner. Desormeaux plans to race for one more year before retiring and becoming a hood ornament.
And Pacers point guard Jamaal Tinsley has reportedly lost 20 pounds during the off-season. He lost most of it running – from the law.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
