Ten Ways A Wedding Can Be More Like Sports, In Ascending Order Of Potential Entertainment Value

#10: Corporate Sponsorship
Tuxedos may not look good with tennis shoes, but the wedding party could at least roll up to the event in a cool car. A sports-drink punch bowl could be easily incorporated into the reception, thus making everybody sweat neon colors that would sparkle on the dance floor.

#9: Vending
Having a vendor roam the pews with hot-dogs and Cracker Jack would certainly break up the tedium. Unfortunately, beers would be $9.50. Also, a reception dinner consisting of nachos and Diet Pepsi would be questionable at best.

#8: The Wave
The more people invited to the wedding ceremony, the more impressive this would be.

#7: JumboTron
It could be set up right behind the altar. This way, even the folks in the back pews could get a good look at the action. Instant replays would be popular. It could even display those cartoonish racing animations during the boring parts.

#6: Baselines
It's no coincidence that, in a regulation church, the distance from the doors to the altar is always exactly ninety feet. The groom will have to remember to slide so as not to be tagged out by a member of the opposing family.

#5: Mascots
Each family could pick one. Their wacky hijinks would add some color and humor to an otherwise solemn affair.

#4: Referees
Just to make sure everything runs smoothly. Is the maid of honor's speech too long? TWEEEEEET! Delay of game! Groomsmen getting too rowdy? TWEEEEEET! Sideline Infraction! You get the idea.

#3: Cheerleaders
Just let them do their thing. "GO! FIGHT! MARRY! YAY!" They could also enthusiastically hold up signs that say things like "I" and "DO" to fire up the crowd.

#2: Playoffs
Sixty-four groomsmen compete for one best man position and three runners-up. Likewise with the bridesmaids. Competitions would be along the lines of American Gladiators. Only, you know, with normal people.

#1: Color Commentary
Marriage veterans could provide context and insight. They could even illustrate their points with a telestrator for the viewers at home.
"You see, Mike, what the father's going to want to do is walk down this aisle here [draws an arrow] and hand his daughter off to the groom here [circles]."
"That's an interesting gambit, Steve. Let's hope the groom doesn't fumble the handoff."