The Weekend in Review

Random Thoughs from the last 7 Days (or so)

• Congrats to Candice Parker for winning the McDonald's HS All American dunk contest. Nice, but I'm much more impressed with the girl from last year's dunk contest (which has been shown on ESPN about 20 times in the past few weeks). The girl from last year (I can't recall her name) didn't get past the first round, but only because she couldn't complete either of her dunks. She had more than enough height, she just couldn't hold on to the ball with one hand. The difference between her and Parker? Parker is 6'4", this girl was 5'11". Hey, I'm 5'10", and I can't even come close to dunking (although I did have decent ups before I become a fat mess).


• Thoughts on the Minnesota "Lady Gophers": a great 1-2 punch in Lindsay Whalen and Janel McCarville, solid outside shooting, and no defense whatsoever. Whalen and McCarville are great, but they can't do everything. That semifinal game was tough to watch.


• I'm starting to get a little paranoid about the whole steroids thing. On opening day, I was wondering to myself if Jody Gerut's head looked a little bigger than it did last year. Hmm... and his chin looks a little squared, too.... AHHHH!!!!


• Mike, there's hope for the Cubs. Sports Illustrated never gets their preseason picks right in any sport, but by picking both UConn teams this year (moving their record to 2 for 975), they're on a roll and their prediction about the Cubs may just come true.
  

A new entry into the Pantheon of Losing: One of the Worst Non-Playoff Related 24 Hours Spans in Sports History

I didn't really watch the men's finals because it was baseball's opening day (or 1 of 4 opening days), so I wasn't to upset about that. But, it started when my fantasy ace (Roy Oswalt) blew a 4-1 lead on a Barry Bonds home run. Oh well, I thought. At least CC Sabathia was cruising against the Twins (the newest addition to the list of teams I hate). But wait, the bullpen decides to blow a 4-0 lead in a third of an inning. Now it's Tuesday, and the women's championship (UConn-Tennessee, woohoo!), the Cavs, and the Indians were all on at the same time. I avoided ESPN at all costs, because I knew the Lady Vols didn't have it this year, and I didn't want to vomit from all of ESPN's kissing up to Gino Auriemma and Diana Taurasi. So, I flipped between the Cavs and Indians until late in the fourth quarter of the Cavs game. Here's a sequence of events: the Cavs have been in a complete tailspin ever since PG Jeff McInnis got injured. He was back tonight, and it looked like the Cavs had the game in hand. Until McInnis rolled his ankle on a Raptor's foot with 3 minutes left in the game. Well, there goes the season, I thought. But, a few minutes later, "My God King! Is that Jeff McInnis's music?" McInnis was back, and it looked like all was not lost... With the game tied and 11 seconds left, LeBron went to the line - and made both free throws! Maybe the playoffs weren't out of reach. Well, then Jalen Rose (who never went to college) decided to sink a 3 with .4 seconds left. Great. At least the Indians were winning by 2 at this point... until closer David Riske puts one out over the plate for a game tying home run with 2 outs in the 9th. The Indians lose in 15, and I'm beginning to wonder if someone is trying to tell me to give up being a sports fan.
Of course, I could be in Iraq right now like a buddy of mine from High School, so I guess things aren't all that bad.

Transaction Wire

Indians trade Milton Bradley to the Dodgers for OF prospect Franklin Gutierrez and a PTBNL that is one of the Dodger's top 10 prospect. Cheers to Indians GM Mark Shapiro for believing that it takes talent and good character to make a good team. Gutierrez is a year or two away, but he should add some power to a lineup that really needs it.
Browns annouce that Carmen Policy will resign as team president effective May 1. Replacing him will be current NFL Senior Vice President of Marketing and Sales John Collins. Great, just like the ND band, the Cubs of the '90s, and allegedly ND football, yet another guy in charge who things "Who cares how good we are, as long as we're making as much money as possible." Marketing. Great.

Short column this week, but I'm still working on KankaMatic Baseball. Look for a few minor rule changes to come. Over the next few weeks, I'll start rolling out a few features from new columnists, so look for that.