My entry into Page 2's Dream Job Competition

To go to the championship, would I...
Drive to San Antonio in my own "Rambling Wreck" of a hatchback? Sure.
Form tackle Eddie Sutton in full pads? Heck yeah.
Camp out with the Cameron Crazies? Where’s my sleeping bag?
Challenge Lindsey Whalen to a game of one-on-one? Whoops, wrong tournament.
Write 2,000 words explaining "what’s an 'Oka' for"? Nah, that joke's getting old.
Offer to ghostwrite for Bill Simmons, so he has more time to play "Madden"? Well, only if he’s a judge.
Enter this contest even though it’s an obvious April Fool’s joke? What have I to lose?

The Response

April Fool!
There is no Dream Job, we aren't sending anyone anywhere and we're not even mailing you a fleece pullover. But if your entry is funny enough, we may run it on Friday's page, so you have that going for you, which is nice.