MLB Preview #4American League East

New York Yankees

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Johnny Damon LF
Derek Jeter SS
Mark Teixeira 1B
Alex Rodriguez 3B
Hideki Matsui DH
Jorge Posada C
Xavier Nady RF
Robinson Cano 2B
Brett Gardner/Nick Swisher/Melky Cabrera CF

Rotation
CC Sabathia
AJ Burnett
Chien-Ming Wang
Andy Pettitte
Joba Chamberlain
Phillip Hughes
Alfredo Aceves
Ian Kennedy
Dan Giese

Sure, the lineup takes a hit with the loss of Alex Rodriguez. But an offense that was one of the best in 2008 shouldn't have any trouble going into 2009, with or without A-Rod. Sure, Damon, Jeter, Matsui, and Posada are all a year older, but they're still very effective hitters. The open competition in center should only help the club, especially if Nick Swisher manages to fully bounce back from a down 2008. Swisher is a luxury the Yanks can afford to trade, but they may want to wait until after the start of the season so Swisher can bounce back and New York can sell high.

Thirty-three year old utility infielder Cody Ransom is expected to fill in a third base to start the season, with help from former Royals shortstop Angel Berroa. Jose Molina, meanwhile, returns as the backup catcher.

A common theme in these previews is that it takes two aces to have any success in the playoffs. With the addition of CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett, the Yankees now have three - and possibly four if Joba Chamberlain can live up to his hype. Injuries will be a concern for Burnett, Wang, and the aging Pettitte. If any of the starters miss significant time, it will be up to guys like Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy to live up to the expectations placed upon them.

Mariano Rivera is back as the Yankees closer, and even if Joba Chamberlain sticks in the rotation, Rivera will have a decent support staff. Damaso Marte may be the only recognizable setup man, but he's not the only capable reliever the Yanks carry. Brian Bruney posted a 1.83 ERA in 2008, and Jose Veras and Edwar Ramirez each came in under 4.00.

Boston Red Sox

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Jacoby Ellsbury CF
Dustin Pedroia 2B
David Ortiz DH
Kevin Youkilis 1B
Mike Lowell 3B
JD Drew RF
Jason Bay LF
Jason Varitek C
Julio Lugo/Jed Lowrie SS

Rotation
Josh Beckett
Jon Lester
Daisuke Matsuzaka
Tim Wakefield
Brad Penny
John Smoltz
Justin Masterson
David Pauley

It was addition by subtraction in 2008 for Boston, as they traded a disgruntled Manny Ramirez for Jason Bay and still made the playoffs. This year, they'll see if that formula can carry them through an entire season. Early indications show that it can. The Red Sox are strong (and virtually interchangeable) from lineup spots one through seven, but the last two places are question marks. Jason Varitek was resigned by Boston for lack of a better option, but he'll need to hit much better than he did last year to keep his starting job. At shortstop, Jed Lowrie has essentially won the position by default after Julio Lugo injured his knee.

Josh Bard is back for his second try as Tim Wakefield's personal catcher. Bard was booed out of town last time, while his team captain remained surprisingly silent over Bard's knuckleball-handling troubles. If Bard can hit like he has over the past few years, he may just take the everyday job from that captain. In the outfield, Rocco Baldelli was added as a backup and spot starter. Mark Kotsay and Brad Wilkerson are also on the roster, but they may see more time at first base than in the outfield. That leaves the infield, where depth was already an issue before the loss of Lugo (and before Pedroia was pulled from the WBC). It appears that that utility spot is up for grabs between a handful of non-roster invitees, including journeyman Nick Green.

Tampa Bay Rays

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Akinori Iwamura 2B
Carl Crawford LF
BJ Upton CF
Carlos Pena 1B
Evan Longoria 3B
Pat Burrell DH
Dioner Navarro C
Gabe Gross RF
Jason Bartlett SS

Rotation
Jamie Shields
Scott Kazmir
Matt Garza
Andy Sonnanstine
David Price
Mitch Talbot
Jeff Niemman
Jason Hammel

Yes, Baseball Prospectus expects the Rays to finish in third place in the East in 2009. But that doesn't mean their 2008 success was a fluke. Yes, the team is due for some regression, but BP still predicts them to win a whopping 95 games and finish just one game behind the wild card-winning Red Sox. Part of the reason is that a majority of their core is still intact. Two revolving door players in right field, Eric Hinske and Rocco Baldelli, are gone, but Gabe Gross is back. In addition, Gross will be challenged by young outfielder Matt Joyce, who was practically stolen from the Tigers in exchange for Edwin Jackson. Speaking of steals, Tampa Bay also got a steal of a deal in picking up Pat Burrell on the cheap. This lineup may not have the name recognition of New York's, but Baseball Prospectus actually predicts the Rays to outscore the Yankees this year. I wouldn't be surprise if they gave Boston a run for their offensive money as well.

In addition to Matt Joyce, the Rays also have Gabe Kapler as an outfield option off the bench. Willy Aybar returns as the club's utility infielder, and Morgan Ensberg and Adam Kennedy will also battle for backup infield spots.

Last year, the Rays had the luxury of having too many capable starting pitchers. This year is no different. Even after trading away Edwin Jackson, Tampa Bay still has to decide whether they want to move David Price to the rotation or keep him in the bullpen. Price, Baseball America's number two overall prospect this year, was lights out in last year's ALCS, earning an extended save in the game that sent Tampa Bay to the World Series.

Of course, the nice thing about the Price decision is that Tampa Bay also has a glut of talent in the bullpen. Troy Percival is back as the club's closer, aided by Chad Bradford, Dan Wheeler, JP Howell, Grant Balfour, and Brian Shouse. Former Cardinals closer Jason Isringhausen will also compete for a spot in the Rays pen.

Baltimore Orioles

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Brian Roberts2B
Melvin Mora 3B
Nick Markakis RF
Aubrey Huff 1B
Adam Jones CF
Luke Scott DH
Greg Zaun/Matt Wieters C
Cesar Izturis SS
Felix Pie LF

Rotation
Jeremy Guthrie
Koji Uehara
Rich Hill
Adam Eaton
Danys Baez
Hayden Penn
David Pauley
Radhames Liz
Bradley Bergensen
Chris Waters
Dennis Sarfate
Brian Bass
Matt Albers

Baltimore's offense showed good improvement in 2008, and that improvement should continue in 2008. The lineup starts off with solid professional hitters in Brian Roberts and Melvin Mora. Next come three unheralded starsin Nick Markakis, Aubrey Huff, and Adam Jones, all of whom outperformed their 2008 expectations. Markakis became a legitimate star in 2008. Huff had always been a good hitter, but he was just phenomenal towards the end of last year. And who would have guessed that Seattle would regret trading a then-unpolished Adam Jones for Cy Young candidate Erik Bedard? The bottom of the Orioles lineup still has question marks, but one of those questions will be answered as soon as Matt Wieters makes his MLB debut. Baseball America considers Wieters the top prospect in all of baseball, and he's a great hitter regardless of position. He's enough to make this author regret joining an NL-only fantasy league this summer.

The Orioles have some recognizable and versatile veterans fighting for backup spots. Chris Gomez can play four positions (the four infield spots), Ryan Freel and Ty Wigginton five (2B, 3B, LF, and RF for both, CF for Freel, and 1B for Wigginton), and Jolbert Cabrera seven (everywhere except pitcher and catcher).

It's easy to say that Baltimore's starting pitching is its weak spot. But this example illustrates that perfectly: up for a spot in the rotation is Danys Baez, who hasn't pitched in the Majors since 2007, and who hasn't started since 2002.

If there's one good thing about Baltimore's pitching staff, it's that their bullpen seems to produce All Star closers year after year. This season's edition still has current closer George Sherrill and former closer Chris Ray. Also providing relief for the Orioles are veterans Jamie Walker and Mark Hendrickson.

Toronto Blue Jays

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Aaron Hill/Joe Inglett 2B
Adam Lind LF
Alex Rios RF
Vernon Wells CF
Scott Rolen 3B
Travis Snider DH
Lyle Overbay 1B
Rod Barajas C
John McDonald/Marco Scutaro SS

Rotation
Roy Halladay
Jesse Litsch
David Pursey
Casey Janssen
Scott Richmond
Matt Clement
Brett Cecil
Shaun Marcum
Dustin McGowan

I'm beginning with Toronto's starting pitching, because their rotation was arguably the best in the game in 2008 (a fact few people knew). Unfortunately, they lost AJ Burnett to free agency, and Shaun Marcum and Dustin McGowan begin the year injured. Marcum and McGowan were two big reasons for the rotation's success in 2008, and the Blue Jays will have trouble filling their spots. After all, they can only ride ace Roy Halladay so much, no matter how good he is. One of the contenders for a rotation spot is Matt Clement, a poor man's Mark Prior who went from dominating Cubs starter to disabled has-been in less than a year.

Closing for Toronto is one of Baltimore's former stoppers, BJ Ryan. Notable Blue Jays relievers include Jason Frasor, Jeremy Accardo, and swingman Brian Tallet. Matt Bush, the number one overall pick of the 2004 draft as a shortstop by the Padres, will try to resurrect his career and make the Blue Jays as a relief pitcher.

As hard as it is for Toronto fans to think "what if" if their 2008 rotation was still intact, it's even harder when you see the pieces added to their batting order. Sure, none of their middle infielders are much with the bat. But adding Travis Snider to a lineup where Alex Rios, Vernon Wells, and Scott Rolen play at least 150 games, and there's a force to be reckoned with. Of course, all three outfielders - Rios, Wells, and Adam Lind, have struggled to live up to unfair expectations. But even if they just ignore the critics and do what they're capable of doing, this lineup can win some ballgames.

Toronto is obviously deep when it comes to defensive middle infielders, as can be seen by the options in the starting lineup. They also have some choices on the corners, with Jose Bautista and Kevin Millar coming off the bench. In addition, both Michael Barrett and Raul Chavez are more than capable as backup catchers. The depth problem comes in the outfield, where Travis Snider may have to play on days when Millar or even Lind DH.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Daryl Strawberry has just written his first book. He would have finished sooner but he was stuck on Chapter 11 for the better part of a decade.

PETA activists showed up at Madison Square Garden this week dressed in KKK outfits to protest the breeding practices of The American Kennel Club. MSG hasn't seen a display that offensive since the Knicks' last home game.

The Padres have traded former No. 1 pick Matt Bush to the Blue Jays following his third run-in with police. The Blue Jays plan to subsequently trade him to the Bengals.

Marv Albert recently turned 65. Albert is delighted that he can now get a senior citizen's discount on all of his lingerie.

And Tony Romo said that he's completely behind Jessica Simpson. Because she's now big enough to play center for the Dallas Cowboys.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant shared a single trophy after being named co-MVPs of the NBA All-Star Game. In related news, there is now peace in the Middle East.

San Diego Padres reliever Heath Bell has credited his Nintendo Wii Fit game for helping him lose 25 pounds. Andruw Jones has just ordered three of them.

The Lions plan to make Daunte Culpepper their starter in 2009. Were very excited to know which quarterback will be losing their games.

And the Atlanta Braves have added Tom Glavine and Ken Griffey Jr. to their wish list. Also on their wish list? Liniment, a hospital, and a time machine.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

David Ortiz says players who test positive for steroids should be suspended from baseball for the whole season. Ortiz is confident saying that, since his drug of choice is gravy.

Commissioner Bud Selig recently told reporters that he is not to blame for baseball's raging steroid problem. And considering he makes $18 million a year, it's pretty easy for him to pass the buck.

Houston pitcher Mike Hampton has been sent home with an irregular heartbeat. The timing is unusual since the Astros' hearts usually don't give out on them until the playoffs.

Steelers kicker Jeff Reed has been charged with criminal mischief for beating up a towel dispenser at a gas station. In fairness to Reed, he was told to pick on someone his own size.

And Alex Rodriguez was spotted with six different women on Valentine's Day weekend. Clearly, his performance enhancer is Cialis.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Washington Nationals have learned that their top prospect is actually 23 years old, and not the 19 years old he had claimed. The team knew he was really old when he remembered the last time Washington had a good basketball team.

Alex Rodriguez has allegedly told his friends that he's over Madonna. And under her. And behind her.

Rumors continue to swirl that Jessica Simpson is expecting Tony Romo's baby. Given her size, we wouldn't be surprised if she was expecting his octuplets.

And the Major League Baseball Players Association has sent a memo to all of its members about drug testing during the 2003 season. And by "memo," we mean "suicide note." The players are expected to read the note very carefully, as soon as they're done taking more steroids.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Ken Griffey Jr. is returning to the Mariners after a nine-year absence. Fortunately he didn't miss much.

Cavs center Ben Wallace needed 14 stitches after crashing into a window while playing touch football. Fans are not concerned, however, since it's not like he's going to get any uglier.

Charles Barkley has apologized for his DUI a day before returning to TNT. Man, that guy will say anything when he's drunk.

Major League Baseball reportedly wants more from Alex Rodriguez. Now they know how Yankee fans feel every October.

And the last part of Shea Stadium has finally been destroyed 44 years after it was built. They didn't mean to wreck everything quite yet, but demolition crews accidentally gave a 7th inning lead to the bullpen.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

ESPN plans to use 26 cameras for its broadcast of the Bassmaster Classic. Wow! That's one camera for every viewer.

Amar'e Stoudemire will miss the rest of the season after having surgery to repair a partially detached retina. It must be really damaging to watch opposing players run right past you.

Charlie Weis has announced he will once again be responsible for Notre Dame's offensive coordinator duties. Perfect - Notre Dame fans have found his last three years of play calling extremely offensive.

Ashton Kutcher has signed on to star in a movie about an NFL quarterback who trades bodies with a 12-year-old. The movie is tentatively titled, "Recycled Premise."

And security for the 2010 Winter Olympics in British Columbia is expected to cost $715 million. And $15 million of it is just Tonya Harding's consulting fee.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Yankees manager Joe Girardi took his team to a pool hall, in an effort to create stronger bonds. Alex Rodriguez was especially comfortable there, since he will spend most of 2009 behind the 8-ball.

The San Antonio Spurs beat the Wizards to wrap up a 19-day road trip. The players have been away from home for so long they can't even remember what their illegitimate children look like. Thats just a joke. They never remember what their illegitimate children look like.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently told reporters that drugs have no place in sports. Luckily for him, they still have a prominent place in politics.

And doctors have advised Northeastern tight end Brian Mandeville to retire. His heart ailment could result in instantaneous death, or even worse, he could get drafted by the Lions.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Three teams are reportedly interested in signing Stephon Marbury. Unfortunately for Marbury, none of them are basketball teams.

Experts have selected Venezuela as the favorite to win the upcoming World Baseball Classic. In related news, Canada has been selected as the team most likely to apologize every time it scores a run.

David Beckham is currently starring in a Chinese TV commercial for anti-impotence pills. The pills are made of natural herbs, chemical supplements, and pictures of Beckham's wife.

Toronto Blue Jays center fielder Vernon Wells could be out for more than a month after tearing his left hamstring. Or as was reported in Toronto, his left Canadian bacon string.

And two-time Olympic Gold medal boxer Guillermo Rigondeaux defected from Cuba to Miami. When asked why he took so long to make his escape, Rigondeaux said that before he escaped his evil, oppressive dictator, he wanted to make sure we'd gotten rid of ours.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The New York Mets won their spring opener, bringing them one step closer to disappointing their fans.

Alex Rodriguez homered in his first spring training game. Yankee fans are happy that all the steroid hoopla didn't get in the way of A-Rod's ability to play well when it doesn't count.

Red Sox reliever Jonathan Papelbon recently told reporters that he suspects he is going to die young. Thousands of Yankee fans agree.

Stephon Marbury is expected to sign with the Boston Celtics as a free agent after he clears waivers. No one is more excited than the city's psychiatrists.

And Arizona's Kurt Warner said he is not sure if he will retire. The good news is he's already in the right place for it.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Stephon Marbury has finally joined the Boston Celtics. The former all-star would have been there sooner but he couldn't fly with all that baggage.

The New York Yankees have announced that Joba Chamberlain will start the first game at their new stadium. Which would explain the pitcher's mound being steel reinforced.

The Dodgers are close to signing Manny Ramirez. It took them this long because he was still in the batter's box admiring a homerun he hit in August.

Celtics guard Gabe Pruitt was arrested on suspicion of DUI in Los Angeles. Police knew he was drunk because he was headed to watch the Clippers.

And Marquette's Dominic James is out for the year with a broken foot. Wisconsin hasn't been this upset since hearing someone say, "Now starting: Aaron Rodgers."

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

New York Mets ace Johan Santana had an injury scare. So Mets fans might experience this year's heart breaking disappointment as early as March.

U.S. Figure Skating has announced its 2011 national championships will be held in Greensboro, North Carolina. Because if there's anywhere that is known for it's love of figure skating, it's Greensboro, North Carolina.

Michael Phelps has been dropped as the keynote speaker at two events in Canada. They are not angry about the marijuana bust, just mad that Phelps didn't get his pot from Vancouver.

73-year-old NCAA basketball player Ken Mink has been declared ineligible after he failed Spanish. His failure is inexcusable since he was alive when they still had an Armada.

And Oakland A's owner Lew Wolff is reportedly looking for a new home for his franchise. He might want to consider moving to Kansas City, since they haven't had a professional baseball team in 20 years.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Alex Rodriguez says he sees his two children once a week. Because that's how often they happen to walk by his mirror. Rodriguez allegedly turned to Katie Couric for career advice in 2007. If that's true, it is proof that he was still on drugs.

A 1952 Mickey Mantle baseball card has been auctioned for $121,000. You can tell it's authentic, because it still smells like cheap bourbon.

Brett Favre is currently selling his 2007 Ford F-150 truck on eBay. Or maybe he isn't. Wait, no no, he is. Nah, he'll just keep it for another year.

And Barry Bonds' perjury trial has been moved to July. Conveniently, Bonds will not be busy.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Mets fans are thrilled that Johan Santana might still start for the Mets Opening Day. They're also terrified about who might finish.

The Oakland A's have come to terms with Nomar Garciaparra. The free agent shortstop is expected to sign a contract as soon as he adjusts his gloves, fiddles with his hat and taps his cup 27 times.

The NBA may rewrite the official rules for traveling. That way they can have something entirely new to not enforce.

Bengals linebacker Dhani Jones has signed on to host a new travel show entitled Dhani Tackles the Globe. We're impressed, since most Cincinnati Bengals aren't even allowed to leave the state.

And Edgerrin James wants the Arizona Cardinals to release him. And to show that he's serious, he's been hanging out with Plaxico Burress.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Lakers guard Jordan Farmar is currently writing a blog on Playboy's website. Now guys have one more article they can pretend to read.

Former NASCAR driver Dean Combs has been arrested for making moonshine. When reached for comment, Combs told me I "had a purdy mouth."

The Minnesota Timberwolves are lowering prices on 95 percent of season tickets in the Target Center. It's never been more affordable to watch horrible basketball.

And Barry Bonds' agent plans to contact all 30 Major League Baseball teams to see if anyone will hire his client. Which is a plan that somehow took him 14 months to come up with. His next plan is learning that same sales pitch in Japanese.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Darryl Strawberry has admitted he would have used steroids if they were available during his prime. And if he could have snorted them.

The Knicks gave statistician Al Marchfeld a gold watch to commemorate his 60th year with the team. The watch commemorated his first 25 years with the team. For his last 35, they gave him a purple heart.

The Cincinnati Reds have invited Barack Obama to throw out the ceremonial first pitch in a game against the White Sox. If he can hit 50 miles per hour, they might sign him.

The Yankees new stadium includes a field-level seat that costs $26,000. Which, considering real estate in New York, is a pretty good deal.

And Terrell Owens has signed a contract with the Bills. Owens is hoping he can lead the team to four straight Super Bowl losses.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

MLB Preview #3National League East

New York Mets

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Luis Castillo 2B
Jose Reyes SS
David Wright 3B
Carlos Beltran CF
Carlos Delgado 1B
Daniel Murphy/Fernando Tatis LF
Ryan Church RF
Brian Schneider C

Rotation
Johan Santana
Mike Pelfrey
Oliver Perez
John Maine
Freddy Garcia
Tim Redding
Livan Hernandez
Jon Niese
Nelson Figueroa
Brandon Knight

The Mets lineup didn't change much from last year, but then again it really didn't need to. Reyes, Wright, and Beltran are stars, and the rest are good to great complimentary players (despite what locals think about Luis Castillo). Reyes and Castillo are about equal at getting on base, and if New York drops Reyes to second, it will be able to better take advantage of his power - especially compared to the punchless Castillo.

In addition to Murphy, Church, and Tatis likely sharing time in the outfield, the Mets have even more talented outfielders is Marlon Anderson and Jeremy Reed. On the infield, Alex Cora is a proven utility man and a capable emergency starter. Once again, Ramon Castro will relieve Schneider at catcher.

New York's starting rotation may be a bit short on household names, but it's not short on talent. Of course, top starters Johan Santana and Mike Pelfrey have had their bumps and bruises, so that's something Mets fans will want to keep their eye on.

The much maligned New York bullpen should be helped by the move to Citi Field. Despite early reports that balls flew out of the new stadium, it is located just across the street from Shea and has bigger dimensions, so it should favor pitchers even moreso than the original Mets home. The Mets now have an embarrassment of riches in the bullpen after acquiring Francisco Rodriguez as their new closer and JJ Putz as K-Rod's top setup man. Putz had a tough 2008 due to injuries, but had he not been traded to the Mets he likely would have been an elite closer again this year. Rodriguez, Putz, Duaner Sanchez, and Pedro Feliciano should help the Mets avoid late game (and late season) collapses this year.

Philadelphia Phillies

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Jimmy Rollins SS
Shane Victorino CF
Chase Utley 2B
Ryan Howard 1B
Raul Ibanez LF
Jayson Werth RF
Pedro Feliz 3B
Carlos Ruiz C

Rotation
Cole Hamels
Brett Myers
Jamie Moyer
Joe Blanton
JA Happ
Chan Ho Park
Kyle Kendrick
Carlos Carrasco

Well, it's hard to find fault in a team that won the World Series last year. Losing Pat Burrell in favor of Raul Ibanez was more of a downgrade that most people realize. But with the rest of Philadelphia's lineup, that shouldn't be an issue.

Like all good teams, the Phillies relied on key backups taking over if and when a starter faltered. Unfortunately for Philadelphia's opponents, that backup corps is as strong as ever. Geoff Jenkins lost his starting job to Jayson Werth last year, and this year he'll be Werth's backup. Greg Dobbs will once again back up the corner infield spots, with Eric Bruntlett up the middle. Catcher was a weak spot for the Phillies in 2008 after Carlos Ruiz struggled at the plate. But in addition to Ruiz and Chris Coste, the Phillies also picked up Ronny Paulino from in-state rival Pittsburgh. But all three catchers are probably just keeping the seat warm until prospect Lou Marson is ready.

Philadelphia's fifth starter spot is still up for grabs. But you know you're in good shape when that's the only question your starting rotation has. Myers, Moyer, and Blanton aren't elite pitchers, but staff ace Cole Hamels certainly is.

The bad news is that Brad Lidge probably won't convert all of his save opportunities this year, like he did in 2008. The good news is that Lidge is back as one of the best closers in the game. The even better news is that Lidge also has a strong support staff, led by Ryan Madson, JC Romero, Chad Durbin, and Scott Eyre.

Atlanta Braves

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Yunel Escobar SS
Kelly Johnson 2B
Chipper Jones 3B
Brian McCann C
Garret Anderson/Matt Diaz LF
Casey Kotchman 1B
Jeff Francoeur RF
Josh Anderson CF

Rotation
Derek Lowe
Javier Vazquez
Jair Jurrjens
Kenshin Kawakami
Jorge Campillo
Tom Glavine
Jo-Jo Reyes
Tommy Hanson
Charlie Morton
James Parr
Jeff Bennett

I'll be honest - I have no idea how this lineup will shake out. On top of not knowing who will bat where, there are also questions of who will actually be playing at any given time. Garret Anderson may not hold up for a full 162 games. Josh Anderson is only holding onto his spot until top prospect Jordan Schafer is ready for the bigs. Jeff Francouer had enough trouble holding his starting spot last year, and questions remain this year. And that's just the outfield.

Fortunately, the Braves do have some decent backups. Matt Diaz was last year's starter in left field, and he'll likely see decent playing time on both corners this year. Gregor Blanco filled in for Francouer last year, and could do it again this year. On the infield, Martin Prado put up good offensive numbers last year, and warrants playing time this year when he gets a chance. Of course, he'll also have to compete with proven infielder Omar Infante for the utility role.

As always, the Braves have put together a solid rotation. Tim Hudson is out with an arm injury, but in his stead the Braves have acquired two very good starters - Derek Lowe and Javier Vazquez. Jair Jurrjens was a darkhorse rookie of the year candidate last year, and this year he returns as a capable number three starter. The Braves also have some decent pieces to fill the last few rotation spots, including Jo-Jo Reyes, Ken Kawakami, and a swan song from Tom Glavine. The Braves may be headed for another third place finish in their division, but don't fault the rotation for them not finishing any higher.

The Atlanta bullpen may seem like a group of castoffs, but there is some decent talent there. Former Pirates closer Mike Gonzalez now assumes that role with the Braves. He'll be aided by Rafael Soriano, Manny Acosta, Boone Logan, and Buddy Carlyle.

Washington Nationals

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Christian Guzman SS
Elijah Dukes RF
Ryan Zimmerman 3B
Adam Dunn 1B
Lastings Milledge CF
Josh Willingham LF
Jesus Flores C
Anderson Hernandez 2B

Rotation
John Lannan
Scott Olsen
Daniel Cabrera
Shawn Hill
Jordan Zimmermann
Collin Balester
Shairon Martis
Jason Bergmann
Matt Chico
Garrett Mock
Tyler Clippard

The Nationals are an organization looking for respect. While their record in 2009 might not win them any respect, they have pieced together a respectable lineup and a respectable bench. New to the DC are are Adam Dunn and Josh Willingham, two players who won't hit for a high average, but who will get on base and hit for power. They, along with previous acquisitions Christian Guzman, Elijah Dukes, and Lastings Milledge, will help compliment Washington's star-in-training Ryan Zimmerman. And while the previously light-hitting Guzman probably won't match the batting numbers he reached in 2008, one of those other starters just might.

Like the Nationals lineup, the bench is full of recognizable names. While they may be castoffs from other organizations, they're also proven Major Leaguers, and many of them former starters. Nick Johnson will try to stay healthy and fight for playing time. Ronnie Belliard and Kory Casto will back up the infield, and former Nationals starters Austin Kearns and Wily Mo Pena will do the same in the outfield. Kearns, Pena, and Dunn - reunited from their time in Cincinnati - will give this team some pop.

Over the past few years, the Nationals have had no trouble acquiring players with character issues, alleged or otherwise. This year is no different as they add starter Scott Olsen from the Marlins. If players can Olsen and Elijah Dukes can contain their emotions, they will make the Nationals a better team. If instead they feed off of each other's negativity, then I pit manager Manny Acta. But outside of Scott Olsen and John Lannan, Washington is full of question marks in the starting rotation, none bigger than enigma Dnaiel Cabrera, who on any given night could strike out 15 and walk just as many.

The Nationals bullpen is highlighted by Team Canada member Joel Hanrahan. Hanrahan has a thin bullpen behind him, composed primarily of fringe starters like Garrett Mock and Tyler Clippard.

Florida Marlins

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Hanley Ramirez SS
Jeremy Hermida RF/LF
Jorge Cantu 3B
Dan Uggla 2B
Gaby Sanchez 1B
Cody Ross LF/RF
John Baker C
Cameron Maybin CF

Rotation
Ricky Nolasco
Josh Johnson
Chris Volstad
Anibal Sanchez
Andrew Miller
Dan Meyer
Burke Badenhop
Ryan Tucker
Rick VandenHurk

Like the Braves, and even moreso, I'm not sure how the Marlins lineup will look in 2009. If Cameron Maybin can stick in the leadoff spot, Florida will benefit from moving Hanley Ramirez to the three hole. But until then, the Fish will benefit from hitting Ramirez first, effectively giving their best player as many at bats as possible. Like Washington's, Florida's lineup delivers some pop with Ramirez, Cantu, and Uggla, but it also has many question marks. Still, the Marlins have the ability to make games exciting.

Florida does have some capable backups, primarily on the infield corners. Both Wes Helms and former Angels super-prospect Dallas McPherson can play both third and first base. Alfredo Amezaga, meanwhile, can play anywhere on the diamond.

The Marlins rotation has some young talent that may still be a year or two away from being good. Ricky Nolasco wins the top rotation spot by default, more or less. Chris Volstad and Andrew Miller will be good, but may not be Major League good yet. Anibal Sanchez has an MLB no hitter under his belt, but has been relatively silent outside of that one game. Dan Meyer was once thought to be one of the next big Oakland pitching prospects; now he's just fighting for the fifth starter spot on a bad team.

Matt Lindstrom has been named Florida's closer after converting five of six opportunities in 2008. He'll be supported by Leo Nunez, Logan Kensing, and Taylor Tankersly, as well as Scott Proctor. Proctor was an interesting acquisition, as talented veteran middle relievers are often not a priority on a team like this.

MLB Preview #2American League West

Los Angeles Angels

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Chone Figgins 3B
Bobby Abreu LF
Kendry Morales 1B
Vlad Guerrero RF
Mike Napoli C
Juan Rivera DH
Torii Hunter CF
Howie Kendrick 2B
Erick Aybar SS

Rotation
John Lackey
Ervin Santana
Joe Saunders
Jered Weaver
Dustin Moseley
Nick Adenhart
Shane Loux
Anthony Ortega

As usual, the Angels lineup won't blow anyone away on paper. But once again, it's a solid collection of players that will win quite a few games. With the loss of Mark Teixeira, Kendry Morales will be asked to step in at first base. The Cuban refugee's development has been slower than expected, so it will be interesting to see if he's finally ready for a full time spot in the majors. The other addition for the Angels is Bobby Abreu. Abreu's defense may have worsened over the years, but he's still phenomenal at getting on base, and 20 home runs will be a good complement to the power players like Guerrero, Napoli, and Rivera bring to the table.

The Angels have always had a deep bench under Mike Sciocia, and this year is no different. Gary Matthews, Jr. and Reggie Willits can fill in at all three outfield spots. Macier Izturis will once again be the utility infielder. Rob Quinlan will backup both corner spots in the infield, and may find himself a starter if Morales falters again. Meanwhile, Brandon Wood, LA's "other" shortstop prospect (after Erick Aybar), will try to find playing time at third and short. And Jeff Mathis should see decent playing time at catcher when Mike Napoli is called on to DH, or when Napoli simply needs a day off.

Ervin Santana looked like a bust in 2007. But he bounced back strong in 2008, giving Los Angeles their second legitimate ace with John Lackey. As I've mentioned before, having two aces is important to playoff success. Joe Saunders and Jered Weaver would probably be number two starters on some team, but in this deep rotation they slide down to the third and fourth spots. The final rotation slot appears open to competition. After a rough introduction to the majors in 2008, top prospect Nick Adenhart will try to bounce back to take that spot in 2009.

In addition to a deep bench, the Angels have always had a deep bullpen. Gone is Francisco Rodriguez, but LA was quick to replace him with Brian Fuentes. Fuentes has an excellent veteran support staff in Scot Shields, Justin Speier, and Darren Oliver. However, at 34 Shields is the youngest of that group, so durability may be an issue.

Oakland Athletics

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Mark Ellis 2B
Bobby Crosby SS
Matt Holliday LF
Jason Giambi 1B
Jack Cust DH
Eric Chavez 3B
Kurt Suzuki C
Travis Buck RF
Ryan Sweeney CF

Rotation
Justin Duchscherer
Dana Eveland
Sean Gallagher
Dallas Braden
Gio Gonzalez
Josh Outman

Oakland's offense took two huge steps forward with the trade for Matt Holliday and the free agent signing of Jason Giambi. Holliday, Giambi, and Jack Cust are Billy Beane's dream players - pure machines that get on base and hit for power. The questions come from the rest of the lineup. Eric Chavez is a great player when healthy, but that "IF" gets larger and larger every year. Kurt Suzuki and Travis Buck are good on base guys, but Mark Ellis, Bobby Crosby, and Travis Buck struggle at it. In Ellis's defense, at least, he's probably the best-fielding second baseman in the game.

The bench features some no-names that began 2008 as starters, and would be again this year if not for the return of Chavez and the acquisitions of Holliday and Giambi. Namely, they are Darric Barton, Jack Hannahan, Rajai Davis, and former Cubs farmhand Eric Patterson.

The A's have always found a way to grow pitching talent, trade it away, then replace it with more talent. That needs to be the case again this year, after they traded away both Rich Harden and Joe Blanton during the 2008 season. The player to watch is Gio Gonzalez, a former first round draft pick who has been traded three times in five professional seasons.

Oakland traded closer Huston Street to get Matt Holliday. Brad Ziegler ended the year as Oakland's closer, but this year he will relinquish that role to Joey Devine. Devine will be supported by Ziegler and Russ Springer.

Texas Rangers

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Ian Kinsler 2B
Michael Young 3B
Josh Hamilton CF
Nelson Cruz RF
Hank Blalock DH
David Murphy LF
Chris Davis 1B
Jarrod Saltalamacchia C
Elvis Andrus SS

Rotation
Kevin Millwood
Vincente Padilla
Scott Feldman
Matt Harrison
Brandom McCarthy
Dustin Nippert
Jason Jennings
Kason Gabbard
Luis Mendoza
Eric Hurley
Tommy Hunter
Warner Madrigal

The masthead on the Rangers website says they are "Built for Fun." That's an apt description, but perhaps a bit of a backhanded compliment. Texas has retooled its batting order, but again has done little with its pitching. New to the lineup this year is Nelson Cruz, who at 28 last year wasn't considered a prospect, but who still absolutely obliterated AAA pitching. Also new to the lineup is the organization's number one prospect, Elvis Andrus, who will move Gold Glove shortstop Mike Young to third base. Third base was vacated by Hank Blalock due to injury issues. Blalock will take over the DH spot this year.

Texas went into the offseason with four MLB-ready catcher, but after trading Gerald Laird are now left with three. All three are solid players, but each comes with the smallest of asterisks. Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who looks to win the starting role, has always been an offense-first catcher, but now his offense looks a little suspect. Taylor Teagarden, conversely, may be the best defensive catcher this organization has seen since Ivan Rodriguez, but only recently has his hitting been considered up to the task. And Max Ramirez tore up the low minors, but was always a little old for his class. The Texas bench also features Frank Catalanotto, who now looks to be a super sub, and Omar Vizquel, brought on to mentor Andrus.

As mentioned above, little was done to improve the Rangers rotation. Like the last few years, it's Millwood, Padilla, and a bunch of question marks.

Frank Francisco has been promoted to closer after several years as a setup man for the Rangers. He'll be supported by a bevy of experienced bullpen arms, including CJ Wilson, Eddie Guardado, Brendan Donnelly, and Derrick Turnbow.

Seattle Mariners

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Ichiro Suzuki RF
Jose Lopez/Ronny Cedeno 2B
Ken Griffey, Jr DH
Adrian Beltre 3B
Russell Branyan 1B
Kenji Johjima/Jeff Clement C
Endy Chavez/Waldimir Balentien LF
Franklin Gutierrez CF
Yuniesky Betancourt SS

Rotation
Felix Hernandez
Erik Bedard
Brandon Morrow
Carlos Silva
Ryan Rowland-Smith
Jarrod Washburn
Garrett Olson

The Mariners had a stunning fall from grace in 2008, but perhaps we should have seen it coming with an aging lineup and questions in the rotation. The lineup has been retooled with a combination of defense, youth, and power. The defense comes from Ichiro and new acquisitions Franklin Gutierrez and Endy Chavez. Individually each could claim the title as best center fielder (or best outfielder) in the game. Together, they'll help save quite a few hits for Mariners pitching, even if (in Gutierrez and Chavez' cases) they aren't offensive powerhouses. The youth comes in the form of Wladimir Balentien and Jeff Clement. Both are known as plus bats and minus defenders. Some have suggested a combined Johjima/Clement and Chavez/Balentien platoon, wherein one day the poor hitting/good defensive catcher would play with the good hitting/poor fielding outfielder, and vice-versa, to offset all four players' deficiencies. The power comes from scrap heap acquisition Russell Branyan and what the Seattle front office hopes to be the triumphant return of Ken Griffey, Jr.

Seattle's rotation should improve significantly with the health of Erik Bedard. The continued development of Brandon Morrow and Ryan Rowland-Smith will help as well. Jarrod Washburn was 5-14 last year, but with an ERA under 5, that record may have just been the result of being an unlucky player on a bad team.

After trading away JJ Putz, Seattle's closer position is still up for grabs. Among the contenders are Mark Lowe, Miguel Batista, Tyler Walker, David Aardsma, and Roy Corcoran. Lorain County's Ryan Feierabend was expected to be this year's long reliever. But unfortunately he has been lost for the season with an elbow injury.

An Exciting Day for Baseball Fans

What a day, especially if you're a prospect nerd. On the same day the Indians held their first intrasquad game, the final World Baseball Classic rosters were announced, AND Baseball America released their top 100 prospects for 2009.

The Indians were represented well on both lists. The WBC will feature

• Grady Sizemore and Mark DeRosa on Team USA
• Shin-Soo Choo playing for Korea
• Rafael Perez pitching for the Dominican Republic
• prospects Damaso and Paolo Espino on the Panamanian team
• Chen Lee and Sung-Wei Tseng wearing the uniforms of Chinese Taipei
• and up-and-comer Nick Weglarz once again representing Team Canada

The US is only carrying four true outfielders, so I wouldn't be surprised if DeRosa saw some time in the outfield as well.

On Baseball America's list, Carlos Santana and Matt LaPorta checked in consecutively at 26th and 27th. The aforementioned Nick Weglarz is 58th. And Adam Miller was 82nd. BA expects LaPorta and Miller to make their MLB debuts this year, with Santana and Weglarz hitting The Show in 2010.

MLB Previews #1National League West

Arizona Diamondbacks

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Stephen Drew SS
Chris Young CF
Conor Jackson LF
Chad Tracy 1B
Mark Reynolds 3B
Chris Snyder C
Justin Upton RF
Felipe Lopez 2B

Rotation
Brandon Webb
Dan Haren
Doug Davis
Jon Garland
Max Scherzer
Yusmeiro Petit
Billy Buckner

I'm trying something slightly different this year, ordering teams by their projected PECOTA finish rather than their actual finish in the previous season. PECOTA has Arizona finishing with the second-best record in the National League. Orlando Hudson and Adam Dunn are gone, but the continued development of the Phoenix youngsters and a solid lineup from top to bottom will lead this team.

The bench features pinch hitter extraordinaire Tony Clark and versatile infielder Augie Ojeda. Eric Byrnes begins the year as Arizona's fourth outfielder, and will be trying to work his way back into the starting lineup. Between Justin Upton and Chris Young's youth, and Conor Jackson's inexperience in the outfield, I'm sure Byrnes will see his fair share of playing time.

It seems like every playoff team needs two aces, and Arizona has them in Brandon Webb and Dan Haren. Doug Davis is a bit underrated and Jon Garland a bit overrated, but both are good complements to the Big Two. The fifth spot is also in good hands, no matter if it goes to Petit, super-prospect Scherzer, or the younger Buckner.

Chad Qualls begins the season as Arizona's closer. If he falters, Jon Rauch and Tom Gordon both have closer experience. Gordon and Scott Schoeneweis bring veteran experience to the bullpen to contrast the young batting order and pitching rotation.

Los Angeles Dodgers

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Rafael Furcal SS
Matt Kemp CF
Russell Martin C
James Loney 1B
Casey Blake 3B
Andre Ethier RF
Orlando Hudson 2B
Juan PierreLF

Rotation
Chad Billingsley
Hiroki Kuroda
Randy Wolf
Clayton Kershaw
Jason Schmidt
Eric Stults
Hong-Chih Kuo

The Dodgers lost two big power bats in Jeff Kent and Manny Ramirez, but their lineup is still good enough to be competitive in this division. In the past few years, Orlando Hudson has been putting up the offense to match his brilliant defense. Hudson and Rafael Furcal combine for what is easily the best all-around middle infield combo in this division. Rising stars Matt Kemp, Russell Martin, James Loney, and Andre Ethier help fill out a lineup that has very few holes.

The Dodgers have good depth in the infield. Brad Ausmus was brought in for his reputation for calling games, and will no doubt mentor Martin. Mark Loretta is still a quality ballplayer, and can play anywhere on the infield. Blake DeWitt proved his worth at the end of last season by winning and keeping the starting second base job. This year he'll be backing up Orlando Hudson and Casey Blake at second and third, respectively. This offense's problem is with its outfield depth. Juan Pierre may be a great person, but he's questionable as a starter on a contending team. Matt Kemp is a great young talent, but his future lies in one of the corner outfield spots. But there aren't many other options, outside of Jason Repko and Delwyn Young

Randy Wolf joins a rotation anchored by phenomenal young talent in Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw. If Jason Schmidt returns anywhere near to the performances he had as a Giant, the Dodgers starters will be in great shape.

As has become the norm in the past few years, Los Angeles has put together a very good and very deep bullpen. Jonathan Broxton is the closer, a job he won after the injury to Takashi Saito last year. He'll be supported by Guillermo Mota, Yhency Brazoban, and Claudio Vargas. Jeff Weaver finds himself in Dodgers camp this spring, and will try to break camp as a swingman reliever.

San Francisco Giants

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Fred Lewis LF
Edgar Renteria SS
Randy Winn RF
Bengie Molina C
Aaron Rowand CF
Pablo Sandoval 3B
Travis Ishikawa 1B
Kevin Frandsen 2B

Rotation
Tim Lincecum
Matt Cain
Randy Johnson
Barry Zito
Jonathan Sanchez
Noah Lowry
Pat Misch

The much-needed revitalization of San Francisco's offense starts at the top with Fred Lewis. Lewis is still rough around the edges, but you can't complain about a .351 on base percentage in the left fielder's first full season in the bigs. After Lewis is a mixture of the old and the new. Aaron Rowand is overrated, but Randy Wynn is underrated. Edgar Renteria has always underperformed in the American League, but found success in the Senior Circuit. Bengie Molina may not be a cleanup hitter, but he's still a solid batter from the catcher position. Converted catcher Pablo Sandoval gets a try a third base, which I'm sure he agreed to readily, since it's only a matter of time before Buster Posey is behind the plate in brown and orange.

The Giants bench isn't deep, but it does feature a few key veterans. Juan Uribe is there if Sandoval falters at third, and Rich Aurilia is Travis Ishikawa's safety net at first. Meanwhile, Dave Roberts will serve as a backup outfielder.

For the past few seasons, the Giants starting rotation has been head and shoulders above its starting lineup. While the batters are starting to catch up, the hurlers are still the bright spot for this team. The Freak Tim Lincecum, Noah Lowry, and Matt Cain (in what should be a bounceback year) will get veteran leadership - and very good pitching - from Randy Johnson. If the end of 2008 is any indication, Barry Zito will still have a few setbacks, but he's starting to return to the level we saw him at with the A's.

Most casual baseball fans probably haven't heard of Brian Wilson, much less knew that he saved 41 games for the Giants in 2008. Wilson is back as the San Francisco closer, aided by Bob Howry and Jeremy Affeldt. Affeldt has turned himself into a reliable bullpen option, and Howry will likely prove that his rough 2008 was an abhoration.

Colorado Rockies

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
Clint Barmes 2B
Troy Tulowitzki SS
Todd Helton 1B
Garrett Atkins 3B
Bradley Hawpe RF
Chris Iannetta C
Ryan Spilborghs CF
Seth Smith LF

Rotation
Aaron Cook
Ubaldo Jimenez
Jason Marquis
Jorge De La Rosa
Greg Smith
Jason Hirsch
Franklin Morales
Greg Reynolds

The Rockies have essentially rebooted their outfield, replacing Wily Taveras and Matt Holliday with Ryan Spilborghs and Seth Smith. Without Holliday, the Rockies will need a return to form from Troy Tulowitzki, Todd Helton, Garrett Atkins, and Brad Hawpe if they want to have any hope for competing in this division.

If Spilborgs or Smith falter, the Rockies do have good outfield depth in Carlos Gonzalez (acquired in the Holliday trade), Cubs castoff Matt Murton, and prospect Dexter Folwer. Of course, questions still remain whether Gonzalez or Folwer are ready for the Show. Ian Stewart adds depth on the infield, and Yorvit Torreabla is a capable backup at catcher.

Colorado's rotation took a huge blow with the news that Jeff Francis will miss all of 2009. The addition of Jason Marquis and the return of Aaron Cook will help, but it may not be enough for a pitching rotation that was already thin to begin with.

When he's on, Huston Street is one of the best closers in the game. But Street struggled in 2008, and now he's moving to the thin air of Colorado, which should raise some concerns about his performance. If Street falters, Manny Corpas will likely return to the role he once held for the Rockies. Street and Corpas will be aided by reliable rubber-armed veterans Alan Embree and Jason Grilli and up-and-coming reliever Taylor Buchholz.

San Diego Padres

Baseball America Top 10 Prospects

Lineup
David Eckstein 2B
Jody Gerut CF
Brian Giles RF
Adrian Gonzalez 1B
Kevin Kouzmanoff 3B
Chase Headley LF
Nate Hundley C
Luis Rodriguez SS

Rotation
Jake Peavy
Chris Young
Cha Seung Baek
Kevin Correia
Josh Geer
Wade LeBlanc
Chad Reineke

It was a fall I'm sure the Padres didn't see coming. Now, they must rebuild. Injury-plagued Jody Gerut was a pleasant surprise for San Diego in 2008, and he'll return as the club's starting center fielder in 2009. The middle of the lineup is solid, if not spectacular, with Giles, Gonzalez, and Kouzmanoff. But it doesn't look like that will be enough this year.

Three familiar names highlight the San Diego bench. Cliff Floyd joins the club as a pinch hitter and occasional outfielder. Scott Hairson will back up all three outfield spots. And ageless defensive wizard Henry Blanco joins the club as a backup catcher.

Jake Peavy is an ace, and for the time being, still a Padre. When healthy, Chris Young isn't that far behind Peavy in terms of performance. But after those two, there are questions.

There are questions in the bullpen as well. Heath Bell takes over at closer after Trevor Hoffman's long run at that position. Bell will be aided by Cla Meredith.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Pittsburgh Steelers barely beat the Arizona Cardinals, after collapsing like they were Pittsburgh's job market. The city is now on top of the sports world. And to remain there, they're selling the Pirates.

David Wells has fired back at Joe Torre, claiming the manager unfairly criticized his ex-players in his new book. Wells was livid after the book was read to him.

The Worcester Tornadoes have offered Manny Ramirez a two-year contract worth $24,000. Agent Scott Boras has advised him to hold out for $26,000.

And Michael Phelps acknowledged that a photo of him smoking pot is authentic. The good news is that he smoked it a half second faster than the French.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Cardinals are feeling plenty of heat after coughing up a lead with 35 seconds to go in Super Bowl XLIII. Thankfully in Arizona, it's a dry heat.

A Japanese sumo wrestler has been arrested for marijuana possession. Which, in sumo, is a performance enhancer.

Former Heavyweight Champion Ingemar Johansson has passed away at the age of 76. His death is particularly saddening for Evander Holyfield, who was hoping to fight him sometime next month.

Michael Irvin is producing a new reality TV show in which he'll give one guy off the street a spot on the Dallas Cowboys. The show is tentatively titled, "Pacman Jones."

And Terrell Owens has agreed to star in a VH-1 reality show loosely based on the network's previous hit, "Scott Baio Is 45 & Single." Owens' show will be titled, "Terrell Owens is 35 and Unbearable."

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Suns managing partner Robert Sarver has said he still believes his team can win the NBA championship. He also believes the Cardinals can still win the Super Bowl.

Lakers center Andrew Bynum will be out for 8-12 weeks with a knee injury. Kobe Bryant is upset, as he was really enjoying not passing to him.

A new report shows that baseball commissioner Bud Selig made more money than all but three baseball players in 2007. Wow, that's half a million dollars for every bad decision.

President Obama is sending a women's badminton team to Iran this week. It's less expensive than soldiers, and more offensive to the Iranian government.

And former Welterweight champion Antonio Margarito faces possible suspension after plaster was allegedly found in his gloves. John Daly will testify in Margarito's defense, since he's also been competing plastered.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Arizona Cardinals plan to donate thousands of Super Bowl "championship" T-shirts to poor families in El Salvador. Which will be easy, since that's where the shirts are made.

Comcast accidentally aired a 30 second porn clip during its broadcast of the Super Bowl and has offered customers who saw it $10 as an apology. Because if there's one thing that can make it okay that your seven-year-old just saw pornography, it's ten bucks.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are a perfect 23-0 at home. It's believed to be the first time that the words "Cleveland" and "perfect" have ever been uttered in the same sentence.

Paris Hilton was recently spotted making out with Barry Zito at a Hollywood hotspot. For those of you keeping score at home, Hilton has now worked her way through the entire alphabet.

And officials for AC Milan said that lawyers for David Beckham are negotiating with the LA Galaxy. They set up a meeting of lawyers when someone challenged them to schedule something more boring than American soccer.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The participants in the NBA's first officially sanctioned H-O-R-S-E competition will instead be spelling out G-E-I-C-O. Players are happy the event is not sponsored by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance.

The Continental Basketball Association has ended its regular season two months early due to a lack of funding. And we'll end this story right now, due to lack of interest.

Animal Planet is producing a new 12-part series that will take viewers into the lives of jockeys. Even though it's 12 parts, it's still a mini series.

Kelly Clark of the United States is the latest winner of the World Cup halfpipe event. The winner of the full pipe event was Michael Phelps.

And Kellogg has announced it will not renew its sponsorship deal with Michael Phelps. Fortunately he should have no problem picking up a deal from Honey Bunches of Hemp.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Cleveland Cavaliers finally lost a home game. Somehow, the Cleveland Indians have already lost one, too.

Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson will appear on "Dancing With the Stars." Meanwhile, Chinese gymnasts will appear on "Dora the Explorer."

The New York Mets are claiming they won't be hurt in any way by Bernie Madoff's web of deceit. Unfortunately, the team can't say the same thing about their bullpen.

Rotund outfielder Andruw Jones has signed a one-year contract with the Rangers. It's official - everything is bigger in Texas.

And the Atlanta Braves offered 42-year-old Tom Glavine a one-year contract. The Braves aren't particularly excited about resigning Glavine. They just wanted to see a baseball contract written in English.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Alex Rodriguez apologized for his steroid use, and expects fans to forgive him, especially hes never used any in October. By owning up to his past indiscretions, Rodriguez has shown he's smarter than Barry Bonds. Then again, a single celled amoeba nursing a hangover is also smarter than Barry Bonds.

The Dallas Cowboys have officially cut Pacman Jones. And they did it on a giant mirror with a huge razor blade.

The New York Rangers have expressed interest in Sean Avery. In related news, the rest of the NHL has expressed interest in Sean Avery's sloppy seconds.

And Minnesota Timberwolves center Al Jefferson is done for the season with a torn ACL. The rest of the team is done for the season because they're the Timberwolves.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Congress has no plan to hold a hearing with Alex Rodriguez. Or for doing anything else, for that matter. Rodriguez is relieved, as most Congressmen are a bit too young for his tastes.

Members of a Marijuana advocacy group have written a strongly worded letter to Kellogg after the company cut ties with Michael Phelps. Kellogg was able to quiet the group by replying, "Dave's not here, man."

Kobe Bryant became the youngest player in NBA history to reach the 23,000-point plateau in a game against the Oklahoma City Thunder. The record is a bit tainted, since 22,000 of those points came against the Thunder.

And Brett Favre says he is retiring yet again. Special thanks to Michael Phelps, Alex Rodriguez, and Kobe Bryant for preventing this from being news.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Michael Jordan says he knows he made some bad decisions. Because he read the paper in the 1990s.

The Chicago Bulls are currently shopping Andres Nocioni, Tyrus Thomas, Ben Gordon, Joakim Noah and Larry Hughes. The only Bull that appears to be safe is the team's mascot.

In the first round of NASCAR drug tests, all the drivers passed, but some pit crew members failed. In their defense, they thought it was just flaxseed motor oil.

A former girlfriend is suing Roberto Alomar, saying that the one-time slugger knowingly exposed her to HIV. Mets fans were shocked, as they thought only his batting average had a degenerative disease.

And organizers are beginning a World Bikini Football League with teams in ten different cities. The Detroit Lions are already 0-4.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

Best Sports Writing and Brady's Bunch

Two new links in the sidebar:

Best Sports Writing brings together the best in book authors, mainstream reporters and columnists, and bloggers. And somehow I made the cut.

BradysBunch.net is the forum arm of Brady-Quinn.org. A perfect place for my target audience (ND fans and Cleveland fans) to talk about their dreamy poster boy.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Detroit Lions have signed head coach Jim Schwartz to a four-year deal, or 64 losses, whichever come first.

Pirates chairman Bob Nutting recently told reporters that an MLB salary cap would make Pittsburgh more competitive. Provided that salary cap is half a million dollars.

The Baltimore Orioles traded for Cubs prospect Felix Pie. The Orioles traded for Pie in an effort to land Prince Fielder.

New York is beginning to disassemble Shea Stadium. The stadium's structure has been weakened ever since the team imploded.

And the Yankees have announced they will wear a special patch on their uniforms commemorating the inaugural season at their new stadium. The design will feature an enormous dollar sign being flushed down a toilet.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Pittsburgh and Arizona will square off in Super Bowl LXIII. The only thing that's undecided is where most of America will be when they don't watch the game.

Free agent pitcher Paul Byrd has decided to sit out the first half of the 2009 season. Byrd wanted to spend time with his family, but apparently will be sick of them by July.

The New York Jets are expected to hire Ravens coordinator Rex Ryan as their head coach. And since this doesn't involve a murder he witnessed, Ray Lewis is available for comment.

Cubs chairman Crane Kenney has said the sale of the team should happen any day now. Then again, Cubs fans have also been saying the same thing about a World Series title for the last 101 years.

And Roger Clemens' former trainer Brian McNamee recently met with federal investigators in Washington for five hours. The session would have been much shorter, but they decided to do some ab work.

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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

NHL officials have put the Yankees' new stadium at the top of their wish list for the next Winter Classic. In addition to being brand new, league officials also like the fact the venue should be completely vacant by October 1st.

The home of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was ransacked last weekend before the NFC Championship Game. Of course  it was being guarded by the Eagles' defense.

Stephon Marbury says he has a firm offer from at least one club. Unfortunately for him, it's a high school team in Tupelo.

New York Knick Jerome James will miss the rest of the season with a ruptured right Achilles' tendon. James was injured falling off the bench.

And Alonzo Mourning may return to the Miami Heat if he can get his body back in shape. If not, he'll go to the Knicks.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Detroit Pistons have lost five of their last six games. Looks like the city's auto makers aren't the only ones struggling to put together a good quarter.

NBA owners have reversed a longtime ban on serving hard liquor during live games, in an effort to make the Clippers more watchable.

NASCAR mainstay Michael Waltrip is considering retirement. He knew it was time when he was doing 40 on the left side of the track.

And a pair of Arizona Cardinals fans have been arrested for torching Donovan McNabb's lawn. The torching had nothing to do with football, that's just considered lawn care in Arizona. What a bad day for the Cardinals  half of their fans got arrested.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Washington Wizards coach Ed Tapscott said Barack Obama has a standing invitation to stop by practice anytime he wants. And to play guard.

The Pittsburgh Steelers have announced they'll wear their white pants for Super Bowl XLIII. And because theyre in Florida, they also plan on hiking them up to their chests.

The Cleveland Browns have laid off 15 people in the past two days. Luckily they're all defensive players so no one should even notice.

The Brewers say they're close on a deal with Prince Fielder. Fielder was unavailable for comment, because there was still a buffet open somewhere.

And the City of Detroit has approved a $27 million plan to preserve Tiger Stadium. It's nice to hear that the Detroit Lions aren't the only useless relics the city is willing to support.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Longtime Utah owner Larry H. Miller has had his legs amputated six inches below the knee. And we thought the Jazz were looking shaky.

Jose Canseco and Danny Bonaduce fought to a draw in their highly-hyped three-round boxing match. The fight had no winner, but still managed to have two losers.

The soon-to-open NASCAR Hall of Fame will honor five inductees a year. Fans are thrilled - that's a new inductee every 6 months!

LeBron James dropped in 33 points against the Jazz. James scored so much, Utah made him an honorary Mormon.

And figure skater Ekaterina Rubleva accidentally exposed her nipple in front of thousands of fans during the European Figure Skating Championships in Helsinki. The mishap would have been even more embarrassing if any of the guys watching were straight.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The NBA could be headed towards a lockout in 2011. Luckily many of the players have a history of breaking and entering.

A Greek basketball team is looking to take on one of several NBA players including Stephon Marbury, Jamaal Tinsley, Jason Williams or Steve Francis. I'm sorry, did I say Greek basketball team? I meant Greek charity.

Sugar Shane Mosley regained the welterweight title over the weekend. He may be close to retiring, however, because after the fight, he called himself "Splenda" Shane Mosley.

And rumors say that the 49ers are angling to get Michael Vick once the QB comes out of prison. Mike Singletary has already been warned to keep his pants up. San Francisco - definitely a town where Vick won't have trouble finding a studded collar.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The New York Yankees have received an additional $259 million in public funding. The team is expected to use the money on half an outfielder.

Atlanta Hawks guard Acie Law has bet a friend $10,000 that the Dallas Cowboys will win next year's Super Bowl. Law will probably lose, but that's just because he's on the Hawks.

Bucks guard Michael Redd will miss the rest of the season with a torn ACL and MCL. In other words, Milwaukee is now SOL.

Veteran pitcher Brandon Lyon has agreed to a $4.25 million, one-year contract with the Detroit Tigers. Maybe a Detroit Lyon will finally win a game.

And Mark Gottfried has resigned as Alabama's basketball coach. In related news, Alabama's Jewish population has been cut in half.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

A recent poll encourages Shane Mosley to retire on top, after his destructive victory over Antonio Margarito. For non-boxing fans, "retire" is an industry term for "wait until I'm bored, and demand more money."

The Celtics will be without Brian Scalabrine indefinitely after he sustained his second concussion in three days. When reached for comment, Scalabrine said, "fire bad!"

Manny Ramirez remains unsigned. And ungroomed.

The Lingerie Bowl has been cancelled due to a conflict over the amount of nudity allowed in the event. On the positive side, football fans can still look forward to seeing the Arizona Cardinals thoroughly undressed.

And Ken Griffey, Jr. could return to play for the Mariners, saying he wants to be in familiar territory. Which we can only assume means last place, in an empty stadium.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Officials for the New York Mets said season ticket sales are doing well for the new ballpark. Especially popular are the new "first six innings" and "April through August" plans.

The Wisconsin Supreme Court has ruled that high school cheerleading is a contact sport. Although most of the contact is with a stripper pole 5 years later.

Aptly named former NBA player Corie Blount was recently busted with 11 pounds of marijuana. Or, as Ricky Williams calls it, a single serving.

Bobby Bowden has signed a one-year contract to coach a 34th season at Florida State. Bowden has been at the school so long he remembers when football players actually had to take their own exams.

And former NFL star Michael Strahan has been chosen to host the fourth season of Spike TV's "Pros vs. Joes." The show is not to be confused with "Pros vs. Hoes" which is a documentary about a Minnesota Vikings' boat cruise.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

Happy MLK Day

Sabermetrics 101: Fielding Statistics

Don't worry, there is very little math involved this time.

For many years, sabermetricians ignored fielding, at least partially because it was so much harder to quantify compared to hitting.

The original fielding metric is fielding percentage, (outs + assists)/(outs + assists + errors). That was fine in the 1800s, when it's been argued that players weren't expected to catch anything that wasn't hit right at them. To this day, errors are still subject to the opinion of the official scorer, as witnessed recently by CC Sabathia's lost no hitter on a bunt single and Orlando Cabrera's in-game call to the press box to have an error changed to a hit.

So errors and fielding percentage are probably not the best way to judge a fielder. Then, what is? Arguably, there are two ways to do so: noting whether a fielder got to a ball (or whether they should have), and whether they actually fielded it once they got there. (Throwing ability - accuracy and strength - are another issue, but we won't go into that today.) Brian Cartwright wrote an excellent piece for Fangraphs the other day, explaining why fielders with poor range are better at actually fielding the ball, and vice-versa.

Other Fielding Statistics

As mentioned above, sabermetricians avoided fielding for a long time because it was difficult to quantify. Now, a variety of fielding measures exist, and still we have none that stands head and shoulders above the rest. Here are just a few metrics that exist today.

• Range Factor: Bill James' first crack at a fielding statistic, Range Factor is the number of plays a fielder makes per nine innings. In other words, it's basically the fielding equivalent of ERA. Of course, like ERA the system has its drawbacks. For example, the type of pitcher (flyball vs. ground ball) will affect the number of chances a fielder has in a game.


• Zone Rating: STATS Inc. divided the field into zones and calculates Zone Rating as the number of outs made in a fielder's designated zones divided by the total number of balls hit into that zone.


• John Dewan's Plus/Minus: Like many of these fielding stats, Plus/Minus involves watching video of every single play over the course of a season and charting whether a fielder should have made the play. In this case, Baseball Info Solutions (BIS) assigns a "plus" for every play made that someone else at that position didn't make, and a "minus" for every play not made that someone else at that position made.


• Probabilistic Model of Range: Created by Dave Pinto, a former ESPN and STATS, Inc. statistician, PMR is another way of comparing a fielder's performance relative to his peers. PMR views the field as a right angle, and breaks fielding down by angle relative to the foul lines. That information can be used to create graphs like this one, which shows that in 2008, Grady Sizemore was slightly above average (compared to other center fielders) on fly balls hit to his right, but slightly below average on flies to his left.


• Ultimate Zone Rating: A continuation of Zone Rating, Mitchel Lichtman's UZR is actually calculated two ways: using BIS's data and using STATS Inc.'s data. Here is a comparison of the two UZR ratings and PMR.


• Fan Scouting Report: For those of you that don't like math at all (except for counting), this is the stat for you. Tangotiger's Fan Scouting Report is a crowdsourced scouting report that ranks fielders in terms of instincts, first step, speed, hands, release, arm strength, and throwing accuracy.


• : If the Fan Scouting Report is perfect for those who don't like math, than Colin Wyers' graphs are perfoect for those who don't even like words. Colin simply took the location of every fielded ball and plotted it on a graph, with a baseball field laid as the backround. Here's a comparison of Troy Tulowitzki and Derek Jeter's 2007 fielding.

The Next Steps

Fielding statistics still have many unsolved questions, but two of the main issues are determining a fielder's starting position, and determining teammates' influence on fielding statistics.

The comments of this thread have a discussion of fielders' starting position. As the charting and video coverage of games improve (PitchF/X, HitF/X, and the work BIS and STATS do), this area will improve as well. Of course, starting position needs to be taken in context. If a fielder is always standing in the right place at the right time, they certainly should get credit for knowing where to stand (or at least his coaches should get credit). But standing in the right place means he won't have as far to run to get to a ball, and therefore it will seem as if he doesn't have much range. So statisticians will have to be careful not to punish him for that.

Another issue is the affect teammates have on each other. For example, on a ball hit between the first and second baseman, the first baseman has the first attempt at the ball because he's positioned closer to first base. A second baseman would only have a chance at the ball if the first baseman couldn't get to it.

Take a look at the PMR ground ball charts for Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Albert Pujols, and Aaron Miles. At first it looks like Miles is below average at ground balls towards first base. But perhaps that is because Pujols is getting to many of the balls that normally would have gone through to his second baseman. Likewise, Chase Utley appears to be great at getting ground balls towards first base, but only because Ryan Howard is below average at fielding balls in that direction. Trade Utley for Miles (a move the Phillies surely would never make), and you would probably see Utley's PMR decline and Miles' improve.

Of course, PMR also does not indicate starting position. Knowing that Howard isn't a great fielder, maybe Utley positions himself a little closer to first base to make up for it. And maybe Miles positions himself a little farther from second base to account for Pujols' range. But if that was the case, you would expect Utley to have below-average performance on balls hit towards second base, and Miles to have above-average performance. In reality, the graphs show that Utley is above average in both directions, while Miles is only average on balls hit towards second base. So, Utley had a phenomenal 2008 in the field, a fact corroborated by his unheard of +47 rating in John Dewan's Plus/Minus system.

The Jhonny Peralta Problem

One of the big questions for Cleveland Indians fans is Jhonny Peralta's defense. Most fans want him to move to third base, but in the past I have suggested a move to second base.

How does Peralta rate as a shortstop? According to PMR (2006, 2007, 2008), he's actually around average on grounders, and maybe even a little above average on fly balls and liners. But UZR gives him a negative rating for every year after his rookie season.

Working on the assumption that he's a below-average shortstop (even if that disagrees with PMR), where should he move? As per this discussion, shortstop is the most difficult position on the field besides catcher. So a move anywhere would improve Peralta's defense, in theory. In his limited time at third, Peralta has been at least average according to PMR and UZR.

There is no data on Peralta at second because he hasn't played there, but there is the Fan Scouting Report. Peralta's 2008 report says he has excellent arm strength, very good throwing accuracy, and almost average hands and release (with 50 being average in all categories). He also has poor ratings in instincts, first step, and speed. First step and speed are more important to a second baseman than arm strength and quick release, so we can probably rule out moving Peralta there. The combination of arm strength, accuracy, hands, and release are exactly what to look for in a third baseman. Instincts would arguably be nice as well, but the hot corner is as much about reaction as it is about instinct.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

A 72-year-old woman recently discovered a rare baseball card from 1869. It has been authenticated as an official Jamie Moyer rookie card.

Jason Giambi has promised to bring his infamous gold thong back to Oakland. It will be the second most pointless thing in his locker, just behind his glove.

Pacman Jones plans to sue ESPN over allegations that he arranged to have three men shot at an Atlanta nightclub. It should be interesting for him to finally be on the other side of a lawsuit.

The Kansas City Royals have announced plans to make major renovations to Kauffman Stadium. They'll be able to afford a lot, what with all the money they save by not fielding a baseball team.

And TNT analyst Charles Barkley is taking a leave of absence from the broadcast chair. The chair is thrilled.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Titans are upset that a delay-of-game penalty was not called during the Ravens winning drive last Sunday. So much time had elapsed on that play, Jeff Fisher actually grew back his mullet.

Quarterback Tim Tebow is returning to Florida, turning down a great opportunity to become Ryan Leaf.

Pacman Jones said his days in Dallas aren't necessarily over. Partly because hes not allowed to leave the state. Texas farmers are hoping Jones sticks around, since they need someone to make it rain.

And Philadelphia QB Donovan McNabb got in trouble when he picked up the Giants bench phone after he went out of bounds. In his defense, McNabb was just calling the league office to ask how overtime works.

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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Rickey Henderson has been elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. That is a direct quote from Rickey Henderson. Henderson's induction will mean a great thing for baseball  namely that he'll stop talking about a comeback.

The Detroit Lions have interviewed Titans defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz for their coaching vacancy. Interview is a polite way of saying, "begged."

Knicks center Eddy Curry has been accused of trying to solicit gay sex from his driver. It's a surprising accusation for a player who's never shown much interest in sticking to his man.

And coach Tony Dungy retired from the Colts. Just a few weeks after the rest of his team.

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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Kentucky guard Jodie Meeks scored a school record 54 points in a rousing victory over Tennessee. Meeks later topped his record by inheriting the earth.

Herm Edwards could return as head coach of the Chiefs. In a related story, Herm Edwards might be clinically insane.

The Detroit Tigers have signed Taiwanese pitcher Fu-Te Ni to a multimillion dollar contract. The Tigers were livid to discover that Ni was just a cheap knock off, made in Taiwan.

Former Dallas receiver Michael Irvin says two gunmen approached his car but drove off after they talked about the Cowboys. What are the odds that two gunmen would be Cowboys fans?

And the Lions have reached out to Dolphins assistant coach Todd Bowles regarding their coaching vacancy. The news comes as a surprise to many insiders who thought the team would already be onto the "C" section of the phonebook.

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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Federal officials said that there are no credible threats for the upcoming Super Bowl. There was the possibility that the stadium could dramatically implode, but that already happened to the Giants.

Knicks center Eddy Curry is considering a defamation suit against his former driver. Given his expanding waistline, it's probably much smaller than his other suits.

Kate Hudson has been spotted on dates with Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez and PGA golfer Adam Scott during the past week. Alyssa Milano must be on vacation.

In honor of the big game coming up, Pittsburgh mayor Luke Ravenstahll is temporarily changing his name to Luke Steelerstahll. In a similar move, Disney is re-releasing "Remember the Titans" under the new title "Remember the Three Red Zone Turnovers."

And T-Mobile has terminated their relationship with Charles Barkley due to his recent DUI arrest. T-Mobile was jealous, since Barkley has more bars.

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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Cleveland Cavaliers have won all 17 home games thus far. That makes them the only 12 people who enjoy being in Cleveland.

Houston has fired three coaches including defensive coordinator Richard Smith. The last time this many Texans were axed, Davy Crockett was there.

The Chicago Cubs have signed Aaron Miles to a two-year contract. Which is perfect, because last year they were miles away from a championship.

Chad Pennington has been named the NFL's Comeback Player of the Year for the second time in three seasons. So when he stinks next year, he can win it again after that.

And Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has been named the NFL's Most Valuable Player for the third time in his career. His first round loss gives him plenty of time to polish the trophy.

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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Mets are reportedly uninterested in signing Andruw Jones. What a shame - at his weight, he could play left and center field.

John Daly has been suspended for six months by the PGA tour. Luckily for him, he's expected to find plenty of work with the AA tour. Daly plans on using his time off to complete half a binge.

The Bobcats are reportedly interested in rotund center Eddy Curry. Not as their new center, but as their new mascot uniform.

And a construction worker at the new Yankee Stadium was taken to a hospital after falling off a mobile scaffold. The collapse was so sudden, it was almost like he was employed by the Mets.

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The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

Former American Gladiators star Nitro has admitted to using steroids while he was on the show in the early 90's. In related news, scientists have discovered that water is wet and chocolate is delicious.

Major League Baseball suspended Philadelphia's J.C. Romero for 50 games after ruling him "negligent." Using the same charge, the Mets suspended the guy who opens the door to their bullpen.

Scott Pioli, the vice president for player personnel with the Patriots, interviewed with the Kansas City Chiefs about their GM position. Pioli might instead take an easier job, like healing lepers or turning water into wine.

Andy Pettitte has rejected the Yankees' one-year, $10 million offer. Pettitte said he refused to be paid less than the team's bat boy.

And the Green Bay Packers fired six of their coaches. And since the exit was guarded by the team's defense, all six walked out untouched.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Seattle Mariners have acquired Tyler Walker to be their new closer. His job will be to lock up the bullpen after everyone leaves.

Shaquille O'Neal has just re-listed his Miami Beach estate for $25 million, which is $10 million less than its original asking price. A Shaq product hasn't fetched this little interest since Kazaam.

Carmelo Anthony recently hurt his hand in a win over Indiana. The injury is especially disconcerting for Anthony since it's his rolling hand.

Boston College coach Jeff Jagodzinski is expected to be fired after interviewing with the New York Jets. Not because of disloyalty, but because it's now obvious that he lacks good decision-making skills.

And Alex Rodriquez was recently spotted getting close with 60-year-old fashion designer Donna Karan. At the rate hes going, his next girlfriend might be a pile of dust.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait

The Dallas Cowboys have released troubled cornerback Pacman Jones. Who, oddly enough, was the least of their problems.

David Beckham is currently charging $700,000 per interview. Which is $350,000 for every interesting thing he has to say.

WNBA star Candace Parker is expecting her first child this spring, making her the first professional basketball player in history to take part in a planned pregnancy.

Jason Giambi said that being back in Oakland brings back a lot of memories. Mainly because BALCO is right nearby.

And Warren Sapp recently challenged Michael Phelps to a televised swimming duel. Sapp was doing surprisingly well until the harpoon got him.

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