Friday, January 25, 2008

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Written by Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

Dan Marino's cell phone went off twice on a CBS' Sprint Halftime Report. Turns out it was Tom Brady and Eli Manning, calling to rub it in.

The Super Bowl is set with the Giants and the Patriots. It's about time New York and Boston had some kind of rivalry.

Muhammad Ali Enterprises is launching an official online store. Details are still shaky.

The good news is that Justine Henin and Maria Sharapova battled at the Australian Open. The bad news is they were both fully clothed.

NCAA Division II will expand to Canada, in a new division known as the N-C-Eh-Eh.

Bobby Knight has become the first men's Division I coach to reach 900 victories. Knight thanked IKEA.

The Lakers' injury list continues to grow. Pretty soon, Kobe Bryant will run out of people to not pass to.

And Miami baller Alonzo Mourning announced he may not retire after this year. Just what Florida needs: more old people who can't drive. Why not stick around? The team's doing great with him. How bad are the Miami Heat? In comparison, the Dolphins are now just mediocre.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit