Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Roger Clemens Report

The report created by Roger Clemens' attorneys in an attempt to prove he didn't take steroids is now online:

I wish I had the time to break this down fully. But scanning it, here
are some amusing highlights:

  • A list of Hall of Fame pitchers who played past age 40, to prove that
    it's not uncommon. Nevermind that most of the pitchers are:

    • From the turn of the century, when arm-straining pitches like
      sliders and split finger fastballs didn't exist. (Ironically, the
      report names Clemens' addition of a splitter as one of the reasons for
      his longevity). Or,

    • Relievers, who obviously don't pitch as much, or

    • Knuckleballers and spitballers like Neikro and Gaylord Perry

  • One of the authors lists himself as a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

  • A random poorly-scanned chart that claims Clemens would have gone
    24-3 with an ERA under 2.00 at Arlington in 2005. I'm sure it
    egregiously neglects the fact that Arlington is one of the best
    hitter's parks in the league, meaning he would have given up more runs
    in addition to getting better run support.

Trivia of the day:
Cy Young, as the report mentions, pitched until he was 44. Legend has it
that he retired not because he couldn't pitch any more, but because
everyone started bunting against him and he was too old to get off the
mound to field the ball.